Xilla Please Help “I Got My Side Chick Pregnant”
Yesterday I got an email from one of my male readers and well… It’s a rollar coaster ride…
Yo, Xilla
Recently I’ve found the perfect woman. She’s intelligent, has a career,loves sports just as much as I do, can cook, has her own everything, no kids, has me into different cultures, traveling outside the states just doing things i never thought I would do. And to top it off she’s beautiful. Everything about her excites me. I just have a couple problems
First the age difference. She’s xx and I’m 2x. She’s wise beyond her years, I could tell right off she carried herself with dignity and had a certain air about her. I don’t personally have a problem with her age. Its just the slack that I catch of my boys (and some of my family) my guys feel I shouldn’t take her serious at all (which is hard because of her personality) it should just be a fond memory, my family feels I should be looking for my wife and not playing around with random chicks. But I’m drawn to her.
Second (here’s where it gets a little confusing) She’s my side chick. When we first starting dealing I didn’t tell her about my girl because I fell for her and wanted to keep her around but because I felt bad about lying I eventually told her. Since we were so deep in she stayed around but stop calling like she used to and hanging around me.But when we were together I started letting things at home go.I was treating her better than my girl (I was spending more time with her, taking her out more we were even going on vacations) And although me and my girl had a preexisting agreement about what I do in the streets I started having problems at home. I’ve been with my girl for over three years and love her to death but I still long for what I had in the streets with my side love.
Lastly (and here’s where it gets down right complicated) My side chick is now pregnant. About 4 1/2 months ago she decided that we should end our little affair for good. And during our last time hookup I neglected protection. And I wont front it was sort of on purpose I felt maybe if she had my kid she would have to deal with me, and on top of that what I found in her was rare and wanted a claim on her before any other man could get one. I know it was selfish thinking but I didn’t want her out my life, yet I didn’t want to let go of the comfort of having them both (although she never asked me to leave my girl). But now I don’t know how to tell my girl that I have a baby on the way with her. And on top of that my plan back fired because she no longer has anything to do with me. She doesn’t answer the phone or call unless it has to do with the baby which and because I do love her it messes with me.
I can’t talk to my guys because none of the advice they give is logical (don’t tell, forget her and the kid if that’s how she wants it etc.) and my sisters swear all this is going to bite me in the ass and give the niggas ain’t shit speech. But I’m stuck. How can I win her back over ?? How do I tell my girl about the baby ??. . What do I do when I don’t even know who I really want to be with, I’m in love with my girl but I also want to be with my kid mom, because I love her too. She makes me feel like no other has, she just blows my mind in so many ways. But i have history with the other girl. . .I don’t even know where to start sorting out this mess I’ve made. So I’m desperately seeking outside advice.
I emailed him my advice trying to help him the best I could… What’s your take on this issue? (I know some ladies will have their own opinions about his actions, but let’s try to give him the best advice)
