How Do You Know She Is The One

Posted in Relationships, Xilla Post on Feb 05, 2009

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“Whatever limits us, we call Fate” Well, my fate is to be with her, and I’m not with her, so this is not my fate. The night I shared with this woman was the most wonderful one in my recent memory. Hell I can remember back to the Christmas morning when Santa brought me the entire toy collection of thundercats including the Castle of Thundera, and Mumra’s castle. Knowing her has been the best gift ever.

Yet, how do you know when you’ve found the one? Is it that electric charge that runs through you veins whenever you get a phone call or a text message from her? Is it the way your heart drops when she walks up to the block and into your waiting arms greeting you with a hug before the two of you go to the movies to watch a love story. Maybe it’s just the beauty and the glow of her skin you captured when you took her picture on your camera phone. It could be a million things but how do you really know if the feeling is geniune or just an emotional whim.

3159122111 78a9496ca4 mIt was Shakesphere who said “The course of true love never did run smooth.” Nothing worth accomplishing ever is, my blog for instance and my road to new media success has been a bumpy one, last year I’ve was locked up, homeless, heartbroken, loss a father, put out on the streets 3 more times and never missed a day without providing a blog, because writing is something that I love to do, and true love is inexhaustible.

I wonder how do you know it’s true love, if in the book of life there are no answers in the back. If your own life is the reason the one you feel so strongly for can’t bring her self to be with you, how do you know? The battle of life leads you to settle, for someone who only makes you some what happy. Not to say that this other person is not a great, but she just doesn’t send that electric charge through your spine like your this one does. Maybe the answers can be found in the past. All the way back to 1st century BC when a Roman author wrote “It is not every question which deserves an answer.”

Xilla is Jamal Malik aka SlumBlog Xillionaire

How do you know when you’ve found the one?


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  • I always thought that I'd know "the one" when, if n his arms, I felt no doubt that this is where I belonged.

    But that's never happened, so what the hell do I know?

    *continues to be Jaded*
  • amber
    What if he feels like my "one" but the feeling is not returned? Then he was never truly "the one"?
  • xtina
    sadly "the one" will never find me...
  • Xan
    because "the one" has more positives than negatives (in your mind), and even the negatives don't seem so bad.

    "the one" is usually the person that makes you happiest of all people you know, you can be your complete self around her and know you both like it like that.

    "the one" is the best friend that you get to sleep with (LOL, my mom always said that).

    i'd like to think this amazing event, the finding of this alleged "one", would happen in my lifetime...as it stands, i believe in life outside Earth more than i do in "soulmates". i'm sure they exist, just doubts as to whether or not everyone has one.

    i mean, people die everyday. what if the soulmate i was handed by the universe died or some shit like that? its hard to believe in something when there's no proof or evidence that it exists. even God proves her existence...what evidence is out here to suggest that "love" and "soulmates" are but a figment of our romanticized imaginations?
  • Buzzy
    So their are 6.7 BILLION people on this earth, and we are destined to find just ONE? Dayum! Anyway, I believe that you know TRUE LOVE when you aren't trying to change, or fix the other person...when you accept them for exactly where they are in their lives. True Love is rare, because most people look at that other person, and they start to conjur up ways in which they can be improved....when you start to do that....walk away. True Love is non judgemental, is open, honest, accepting, and above all UNCONDITIONAL!
  • The one is not the one you can live with. The one is the one you can't live without. I know its cliche but its so true!
  • DC_REALEST
    i think you know you found the one after they're gone.
  • Tht's a hard question.

    "The one" could be for a 'season' a 'reason' or a 'lifetime'.
    It's up to us to decipher which category they fall under.

    But not matter what, everything is a form of 'emotion'. Once the emotion subsides, then the feeling of them being "the one" is gone b/c they were either a season or reason. And even whn we get to the "lifetime" part it doesn't mean marriage, just 4ever.

    I hope I made sense lol
  • awww hell, I have no idea when I have found the one. I have found the one so many damn times my heart can be on a rotating axis! I guess you can use the butterflies and crap to judge but hell, I have a weak stomach - just about anything gives me the willies........ Wish I could offer advice but Im damaged goods (what up neffe) lmao Great write
  • OrangeStar616
    Wow ...really felt this post esp the last paragraph cept when his lifestyle kept us apart.... , doesn''t negate the love tho
    to answer the question I'll quote the Oracle from the 1st Matrix, "no one can tell you you are in love, you just know from balls to bones"
    you just know from tittayballs to bones ;-)
  • HeadMistress
    Tough question, but I think you can only really know once the novelty of the electric charge and the butterflies goes away...

    The "one" is about true love and whether you believe in a designated soulmate for each person or falling in love by some random meeting true love takes work to develop and to maintain...

    When both people are willing to put in all that it takes to develop and maintain your love despite any obstacles and no matter what happens in life, no matter who else comes along then you've found each other...your "one"
  • nynikki
    I've had the electric charge kind of love with a man for 13 yrs, but his life is incompatible with mine and vice versa. Will always love him, but could never settle down with him. So I keep looking for "my man" much to his chagrin, but hey that's life.
  • ChucksFavorite
    you know you've found the one when you can't be without them. when then thought of you not being with them is enough to make you cry. this person becomes part of you and together you become one. other people's opinion of this person don't matter to you because you know deep down that you and this person were meant to be.
  • Blacksand
    The one is not a myth or a cliche. The one is consistent. The one is long suferring. You cannot stay irritated or angry at the one becasue you actually like him or her. The one is your best friend. The one is your last thought at night and your first thought in the morning. You can trus the one. You can make yourself vulnerable to the one and know he or she will not take advantage. The one is not a myth or a cliche. He or she is out there. The million dollar question is will we be ready when the one arrives?
  • hazysin
    DAMN...I DONT THINK I WOULD EVER RECOGNIZE THE "ONE". i DONT LOOK FOR THE ONE....MY GRANDMA GAVE ME SOME JEWELS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I LIVE BY THEM NOW.

    1. STICK WITH THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR LIFE CHASING THE ONE YOU THINK YOU LOVE.
    2. IF YOU THINK THAT YOUR PRINCE CHARMING IS FLAWLESS, YOU DESERVE TO BE LONELY.
    3.ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPIER THEN YOU WANT TO BE


    I LOVE MY GRANDMA
  • Lady Jei
    Well if you try to live by the Bible (and I am trying, lol), the bible says a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. No where in there does is state I find him,

    Hence, God has prepared me. And all that I am as a woman to wait for my 'Adam', and the rib from which I come from to make us one. God is working on me, so that when he presents me with the one that is for me I am ready and he will treasure all that I am. Without prejudice.

    When he finds me, he will know that I am for him and he will make me his wife.

    And like my boo reminds me so many times "Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."
    His explanation as to why he is a breast man, LOL!!!


    So every woman is 'the one'. She is just waiting to be found.
  • LongTimeReader
    Nice blog. I have never found the one but I have been in love once. For me I knew that I was because this person made me feel safe. When I was with him time seemed to stop and it felt as if we were the only 2 people on earth. My heart skipped a beat every time I saw him. No matter how i felt he could always make me happy by just seeing him. I felt like he understood me on a level that was indescribable. Maybe like someone said above there are ones for a season and he was that but before or after him I have never felt that. lol that was so sappy.
  • CG
    It is sad to think that you are settling when it comes to love. I believe that the one we can't have is the one who brings out the best in us and prepares us for the one we do love and spend our lives with. The key though is to be true to what's in your heart.
  • OrangeStar616
    I agree.. LongTime Reader..I concur 100%
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