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ehh,I don't think their are any benefits to being a side chick. I have been a side chick before and the end result is always messy.

Ive been the side chick a time or two and i loved it, I know he was sleeping with someone else but at the time it worked for me. I like that he gave me the goods and i aint have no headache from him. My shit ain't get messy because i'm not a messy person.

WILDER SEX! men oftentimes see the side piece as a more sexual woman and they lose a lot of their inhibitions. i enjoy being the side chick and sees nothing wrong with in. all the fun and no fuss! HEEEY NOW!

I do agree Thoney. I was the friend on the side with this man for four years...........and yes..................the sex amazing, mind blowing, earth shakin, body rockin ,spine tingling.

*sighs*

Right on Chinky. The only benefit of being a side chick is occasional dick. Not even when you want it, cause main chick is gonna always come first. So pshhh! Later for that!

Sounds good to me..The Side chick going to get the best sex cause she new..LOL

POWER!!!! When a man know's you can tell, he will do what he needs to do so that you'll keep your mouth shut.
Been their, and let me just say he does it ALL! He claims he doesn't care if she finds out, but when it comes down to it, he'll shake in his boots if I used that trump card.
6 years later, he's still around, and wifey has no idea.
I was married for 12 years, and the last thing I wanted was another whinning azz man in my life, so to be able to have what I want when I want it is nice. He's a spoiled fool, but at least i only have to deal with him on my time.
Don't beat me up to bad :)))

wow.
u r actually making it a "benefit" (or attempting to) for women to be sidepieces or screw a guy that isn't hers and don't really want to be all the way hers. the reasons here given to make it seem like logic are pretty crappy. but hey...interesting.
what is this some type of psychological trick?
u reap what u sow ppl, don't be greedy...i'm just sayin'.

Nah not trick here, it's a pose for those who like being the side chick... Who don't want to deal with the dude full time. Which most chicks don't want. Chicks who just want to be single.... Check out the xilla poll from earlier in the week. Most people are sleeping with more than one person those who answered truthfully. The side chick doesn't get lied to. It's being done it's all a matter of if you know or not.

Well for me the number one benefit is that i don't have to deal with the bullsh*t. He calls telling me all the crap they go through, and trust i know about crap, I was in it for 12 years, and it ain't pretty. I love being single, it's something about that freedom after being in something for so long. I will NEVER remarry, so having that person that I don't have to deal with consistently feels wonderful. I'm not out to hurt anyone, and he's knows this. Although he would have me doing some seriously grimmy sh*t if he could. I know EVERYTHING about this man, he feels safe with me, cause he knows I can't and won't judge him. Most men don't feel safe with the SO.

Which was exactly my point. The other chick provides us with someone else to release too when it come to ish we don't want to tell our dudes.... someone like you say you can release too. But I think in a relationship dudes are afriad to be honest with their chicks... Women are a lot more understanding than they appear. to be.

See Xilla I knew you where better than that but you should include thought provoking sentiments in the original blog...trust me all woman have a freak in them but they feel like if I do this he will think im dirty so she wants to do it but is scared of your response and you want her to do it but your scared to ask for it COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!! Plus if Obama dont teach us nothing else he is showing how to LOVE A BLACK WOMAN

oh believe I know... but you can't come out and be like I think fucking on the first night is not whorish even if the chick is thinking the same thing...

I mean I'm just build different or Naive one or the other.

exactly Xilla! seriously! i don't mind listening getting my back broke, and like Buzzy said, the power! i mean niggas ACT like they don't care, but THEY DO! trust! lots o' handbags and fun come outta that there card. BELIVE IT!

So being as you was in crap for 12 years you know everything he telling you about her is BS right...you say your not out to hurt anyone but if ole girl finds out she will be ready to hurt everyone... I havent been single in a long time but it aint no good single i dont want no attachment D** out there??

you broke up with your dude? Wow! I didnt' know that. Not like we talk or anything outside of the blog! But I do rememeber you typin bout your man.

Yep I sure do, and when I call him on it he usually ownes up to his responsibilities in his mess. And having been in it for so long I also know that she's miserable. I feel for her, I know that if she finds out she'd be hurt, and that's why I make sure I stay very quietly in the wings. This man has been in my life as long as he's been in her's, I was married, he wasn't, then we both were, then i divorced, he's still married. So when it first happened he was unattached D, but sometimes you get comfortable, the sex is the bomb, the friendship is incredible, and it's hard to walk away. Plus their's this other thing that keeps us connected (no need in getting into that). I adore this man, and he adores me. I have no doubt that he adores her too, as he should, that's why I try to give good advice, cause I don't want him leaving her thinking he's coming to be with me....HAIL TO THE NAW!!!

never been the side chic and don't see the benefit.

I can understand that

I think these comments are tainted...picture this prior to being married i had been a "side chick" though i would never use that term to describe it but anyhoo...do you think when i took my vows I stopped having wild earth shattering sex ha...NO plus cheating has nothing to do with what a female may or may not be doing its about a man who for what ever reason is too immuture or insecure to put his true feelings out there (i.e. i love you but...the sex needs to be spiced up, i love you but I wish you would moan when I bang it out) As far as said side pieces she too has her own insecurities I've been reading comments on this site long enough to know that we all been burned (heart not privates yall keep that to yourself) before and being the side piece you feel like you dont get the emotiional attachment when the fact is when you lay with someone be it one night or for one year the emotions are there period point blank sex is the act of becoming one.

See but for some odd reasons, SOME CHICKS think that once they become wifey they aint got to suck dick or do "wild" stuff because they wanna feel respected... and some dudes don't want their chicks to suck them off in the parking lot of Che Negro!! I like i said up above it's all about being honest and actually settling with someone who is compatible with you

Exactly! This man is as wild as they come.......I'm talking WILD, and he LOVES some head, but wifey ain't having none of it. She's very conservative, and his dumb butt knew it when he married her, but he felt it was the right time in his life to marry, and he SETTLED! Now he's unhappy, OH WELL! Compatibility is Super Important.

Xilla, I can definitely relate to what you are saying. You feel have to have all this -so much respect. I really can't shake it. My problem is how do you know all the stuff you know.....?!

Because I f'd up enough relationships to know better. it's not about making mistakes... it's about making new mistakes and not making the same mistakes.

Hi Xilla,
You are a very wise man. The last that said to me and his whole church was the same words -its about making new mistake, having a different set of problems. He graduated 4th in his class. He taught me and my girlfriend alot about relationship problems. At least I know you are speaking from experience.AFoxx
How do I get my picture to show up on the blog.

No Drama, No Drama, No Drama. I am soooo glad I don't have to worry about lame ass shit like, is this dude gonna come up with 1/2 the rent, lights etc??? Side chicks already got that handled and its even better when your like, Ok it's time to go!!! Or me and my girls going out for drinks...What can they say?? Nothing at all. Can they go thru your phone??? Nope, Trip about other dudes?? Nope!! The only downfall to all that is ole boy ain't used to a woman doing the same thing they are and they tend to hate on the chick a little bit, but trust they ain't going no where. Unless the woman is finished with him.

My question that I have in regards to this blog would be why is being the "Side chick" viewed as a bad thing?? Who said that being monogomous was the "right" way?? Didn't Solomon have many wives in biblical times & he was seen as a good man!!

Exactly! I think it becomes a bad thing when we get into Possesion....that whole "he's/she's MINE, he/she belongs to just ME" . I think people think that commitment means OWNERSHIP!

I don't know, BX. Those sounds like the benefits of being the side-MAN, since most women would probably want the man they just slept with to stay the night. Well... unless you REALLY just didn't like the guy... or if he's broke.

But honestly, from my perspective, I don't think most women WANT to be side-chicks. I think most of them SETTLE for being a side-chicks. "Better to share a man than have no man at all" is what a lot of women tend to think. I think women lie to themselves a LOT. We're good at convincing ourselves what we want to believe.

Now, I've slept with men without wanting a commitment. Every woman needs a maintenance man during a drought. But I would never want to interfere with another woman's relationship. It's simply out of RESPECT for that other woman, even if I don't know her... or even if I don't like her.

An interesting take on the subject, tho.

I think it's the other way around, I think the wife says "better to share a man than to have no man at all". Having been on all sides of this, I think wives will put up with sh*t to keep it LOOKING perfect, whereas the other woman will walk away faster when she's fed up.

I think if you're willing to share your man with another chick, you're settling... whether you're the main chick or the side chick. It doesn't matter if you yell at him for it... if you take him back, you're sharing!

The problem with being the "side chick" is the fact that they sometimes forget the rules. They end up getting caught up with the person they are sleeping with and find that what were once benefits become nightmares. The other chick can't be the other chick for too long because soon after, the jealousy starts to come into play. Females as much as they would like to deny it are emotional human beings and become infatuated with the people that they are with, this is of course if they so much as care for the person they are giving it up to (the one's that don't care are the dangerous one's) and can lie and say they are ok with being the side chick but deep down inside they know full and well that they do not enjoy sharing. The only way to make it as a side piece is to understand that you will never be anything to him because you are starting the relationship off of a lie and deceit. His obligation is with the woman he calls boo not you, you're just around to spread your legs and soon after he'll bounce. Don't even try to make a relationship out of it because it won't last and you can bet on your future man that you decide to be with will have many side piece's as well; good ol' Karma never forgets it's followers.

Why do we believe that ALL women are the same. Some women are very capable with handling their emotions. After 6 years, I know for sure i don't want to be in a monogomous relationship with this man. I love him to death, but dealing with him daily would drive me CRAZY! Do we think ALL women want a relationship? What about women that want friendship, and good sex? Do they exist? His wife should be his top priority, and my family should be mine. ....we fulfill a need for one another, and we care for each other in the process.
I've dated seriously since my divorce, so my life hasn't been put on hold, hoping, and praying that he'll choose me.....we've already made our choices, and he and I chose friendship.

I have been the chick on the side before and one of the benefits that I had was he couldn't tell me what the hell to do. If I wanted to go out with someone he couldn't tell me shit. How could he fix his mouth to tell me not to see other people when he got his chick at the house. Nope. Freedom was one of the advantages, but that shit gets old really quickly.

I agree! I'm with someone who is kinda married (and by kinda, I mean he is).
He tries to tell me what to do, but he knows I'm not having any of that. I just tell him, "look, you're the one fucking up, not me. Who are you to try to control my actions, when you are the one cheating on your wife?" Seeing that this guy and I don't even live in the same country, what I do is a bit more than out of his jurisdiction of control. This is ideal because we really don't have to see each other. I have my life here and he has his there. The only time we see each other is on weekends when he takes the train over to see me. No attachment on either end.

Who knows, maybe his wife has something going on while he's out here with me?




On a side note, in my opinion (as I'm sure many of you will disagree with this), it's not really cheating if you're in a different country (a different state can be included in this too). I only say this because I feel that everything changes when you're in completely different region. Your life at home is on hiatus. Everything is anew. No one knows your life story. It is so refreshing. Maybe its just me, but I feel that my life in the states is on pause, and any and everything that I do abroad has no affect on my life there (all in moderation of course, I would never want to go back with a permanent souvenir; i.e. baby or irreversible disease). When I get back, for the most part everything will be as I left it. So is it really cheating if you're (for the lack of better word) starting fresh?

JFC, there is so much wrong with these "benefits" the thought of addressing them is exhausting

With the exception of one time that was purely spite driven (that's a story for another day :-D) I've only unknowingly been the side-chick and once discovered that shyt ended IMMEDIATELY!!!

I was recently faced with that "option" and decided not to pursue it - I just can't fathom CHOOSING to be second place in someone's life...

As much as I believe I can deal with the "non-commitment no strings attached what-not" I have an issue with the possibility of not being able to see someone when I want to...and when you're the side-chick you have to wait until it's safe and convenient for him to get away...

Even if that's often your schedule with him STILL revolves around "HER"...

"SHE" is in complete control over the time you spend with HER man

No Bueno - second place simply means you're the First Loser!!!

second place, first loser....fuck all that, when did this become a competition?

ohhh, i remember. it became a competition when he fucked that chick.

don't sweat the sister for getting her genital workout...but the nigga for even causing this discussion to be possible.

I think that better SEX is always the benefit the side chick receives. Its better b/c you can explore more with her than your main gal sometimes. The sex is wilder, hotter, wetter, steamier and off the chart multiple orgasmic like..... You know his "Go Girl" :) And she doesnt have to put up with nothing she doesnt want to. Out at any time. No attachments, hopefully, because he has the main gal. So when sex becomes dull she can go out and get another.

Just some false propaganda:a mere assumption or guess

i think you attract what you give out in this world. not communicating leads to cheating either emotionally or physically in any type of relationship... humans want to love and be loved. sometimes people want more than they can take its up to you to excuse them or let them ride. people will treat you as you let them

honestly this is probably going to show my youth and immaturity... but the only extra benefit i see the chick on the side receiving is the benefit of my foot up her a**.

women amuse me so much....omfg. HELL-LO?! how about "i'm not the side of a damn thing, i'm doing my own thing...but obviously this guy's not happy with his shit because he's in mine..."

but i get the point, so let me share...

THE BEST THING ABOUT F*CKING SOMEONE ELSE'S MAN IS...

...the secret satisfaction of knowing that at the end of the day, some random female that I don't even know is somewhere giving a fuck about her man, cleaning their home, putting away their dinner, waiting for him to return, etc....

meanwhile, that nigga is on my block, giving me what he's not giving her (a nice, simple, commitment-and-hassle-free session and some disturbingly good head)
and saving the shit that i don't want for her ass (like that lie about "being in love", damn-near constant attention, queries about my activities). all the while i'm laying there, giving some poor girl's man better sex than she could dream about, i validate my own perspective in saying that heterosexuality is for stupid bitches that enjoy being lied to...

lol, i know i'm mean. but whatever. not my fault women trust men when they know they have indiscriminate penises.

YES, LADIES--your fears have been confirmed! some women just get a kick outta the sheer knowledge that they CAN screw your man. and there's nothing you can do about it, and nothing he's gonna do about it.

know what's cool about online music? that you no longer have to buy a CD or preview tracks in the store to know what's on the album. I got to preview the new Q-Tip album in its entirety before I even thought about buying it. dig? so when side-line pimpstressing, its a similar concept...the opportunity to try something new, to see if you like it before making a purchase (lol), to add more to your collection, or just for fun...

#5: FREEDOM.

kinda like, "here, girl--thanks for letting me borrow your man. you can have him back now, i think he's hungry or something...my girlfriend's on her way home...y'all have a nice morning!"

then we smoke and laugh about the divorce rates.

i mean, lets be for real. contrary to popular belief, the "other" has the most advantages in the situation...

but as its been stated, it DOES take emotions of steel to deal with the "side-effect" of allowing someone else temporary rights over your body. not everyone can be Xan (i have emotions of diamond, sheeeeit lol) and my extra defense in not coming up short is that i don't even date men so i'm never looking to impress one, come off the right way to one, or give a shit about what they think. i come to them the same way they come to me (and you): about sex. safe, no-strings, s-e-x.

that's probably why your man likes me so much.

in fact, we're plotting a way to get you in bed with us, so he can get me some pussy as a "thank you for putting it down, xan!" and so i can help you look like less of a prude.

have fun raising your families, folks! i'll be sure to send your man back in his original condition. thanks for letting him come play, how the hell can you do that every night?! oh, right--you don't! well, be easy and tell your dude i'll call him later!

(ROTFLMAO...)

Well said.............

word up, thanks. i ain't saying no shit i heard about or read--i know exactly what i'm talking about.....lmao...

okay, if you wanna play THAT game, go ahead. I don't give a damn. I'm still gonna get laid by your nigga, end of story, and chances are he likes my shit a little more than yours which is why he's willing to potentially throw away your relationship.

9 times out of 10, the other person sleeping with your man DOES NOT EVEN WANT HIM LIKE THAT. cause if she did want him...she'd have him.

if y'all married, it'd be a good-ole-fashion affair. if y'all are just dating and other chick is putting in work where you are not (its not only about sex, sometimes theres another reason--like you're a boring bitch, pretentious, too ghetto/bourgeois etc) then you'll suddenly find yourself single and your ex-boyfriend wrapped all up with "that bitch".

so reposition that focus on who's really the "hoe" here....

WHY OH WHY ARE WOMEN SO QUICK TO BE COMPETITIVE WITH ONE ANOTHER RATHER THAN STAND TOGETHER AND CALL BULLSHIT ON THESE NIGGAS WHEN IT OCCURS?

men do this shit cause they can.

if YOU ain't doing the shit you can & really want to do, fuck that shit and CTRL+ALT+DEL it.

don't you just hate it when you realize you've wasted a year of your life???

damnit!...wish i would've seen this earlier so i could spit some knowledge to these and other female's out here who really think this shit is the business.

i don't give a fuck what you say, don't give a fuck why there's "an icebox where your heart used to be"...i can say from experience that side-chicks aren't viewed in a positive light at all, your lower than low darling, your existance is that similar to a groupie to a rapper, your just entertainment, and if dude got you thinking otherwise; your as stupid as wifey is for believing his ass.

from a wifey stand point, these females are lower than low, how would you find it benefitial of sleeping with another woman's man!?!?!- who the fuck says your the only-side chick....bitch do you care about your pussy or the possibility of catching something. don't make me conjure up the statistics on HIV/AIDS in america/worldwide right now.

what pains me is that men are quicker to get "something on the side" because their bored easily, i know a man whose been married for almost 15 yrs, been cheating for the past 15 years as well, why put your mate (female or male) through the lies, cheating. bullshit, deception and betrayal over some "PUSSY" or "DICK", that's all it is at the end of the day right?.

i'd rather you just leave me than to risk both our lies over a woman/ man who clearly doesn't give a fuck about her body or the relationship/ marriage that she's/ he's slowly breaking apart.

FROM EXPERIENCE i will say that when you cheat...SOMETHING will go wrong, either it be the relationship, the cheating situation, work, life whatever, something will be fucked up eventually. you can't expect to be blessed or if you don't believe in god rewarded in life if your doing fucked up shit such as this.

having been friends with these "side-broads" and being in a situation where my dude used me as the "side-broad" i can say this, and so can every female weather you want to admit it or not, YOU AREN'T IN CONTROL MAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- that whole side-bitch business is a man's game, females are the players...use and abuse, get the easy pussy and go, simple and plain str8 like that mami..if you like not having another person in your life to share and grow with that respects you and treats you like the queen you could evovle to be..then hey hoe on!!!!

but take it from a woman's whose been there...when the shit hits the fan not only is homeboi gonna regret making those stupid decisions. the female will too, esp. if she knows we married/ in a relationship...have some fucking class and be a real woman and stop thinking with your pussy. Ya Digg?!?!?!

wow, you sound so adamant regarding your position. strong-minded, i like that.

...you're gonna need that strength to tide you over while you sit home alone some nights while your man is fucking somebody else. true story.

"...if you like not having another person in your life to share and grow with that respects you and treats you like the queen you could evovle[sic] to be..then hey hoe on..."

looks like either way you slice it, it still won't come to fruition.

treating someone like a queen doesn't entail dipping off on her to screw some bird that'll be a memory in two years (but a memory that'll replay multiple times while he's trying to keep his dick hard to fuck you...again...).

respect doesn't include playing you like you're the fool or issue, essentially respecting a "relationship intruder" more than you (and you're the one that invested YOUR time into this motherfucker! how dare he?!). Right now (or last night/tonight/whenever he fucks her again), he's saying all kinds of shit about YOU and YOUR relationship, shit you may have had no idea about...to a stranger whose face you can't even describe.

He only has good things to say about her...to his friends, not you. They're in on the secret, they can't wait to hear more about and even meet this alluring, exciting new chick that you're in the dark about--high five!--and all the while you're somewhere hanging up this bastard's clothes and wondering why he's not home from work yet.

Sooooo....scorecard:
YOU: zero. NEW BITCH WHO WANTS MEN LIKE PIZZA DELIVERY: 2.

what part of the game is that?

well, he has a dick. and no matter how lovely the love is, how long its lasted, how many kids are involved, or how good he is/you are--it doesn't take a whole lot to attract Dick's attention.

Xan's not bitter, not completely jaded, and not a woman scorned...just a free-spirited, happy Pomosexual (look it up, not with an "H") into peace and happiness without bullshit and irrationality. Dig?

"...the other bitch can be cute or whatever...she can be the unequivocal shit, shit. but she can't force your man to go fuck with her. he chose that route. she probably wasn't even thinking about your man...HE'S the one that said 'fuck it' to your relationship...and don't think he won't again. prepare yourself right now to deal with the fact that its damn near guaranteed to happen, multiple times sis. better luck with a man that used to be a female lol......"
--xan, to a friend in 2007

this is just a mere example of an individual who comes from a broken home. Anyone from a healthy home would never say the things this person has said. Trying to justify cheating, side chicks, extra chicks whatever shows the marturity level of an individual and judging by their thoughts the elevator doesn''t reach the top floor. You can be the side piece for so long, 45 year old side pieces are not cute nor are they happy, grow the fuck up and quick time is wasting hun

wow.

i wouldn't know about 45-year-old side pieces, that shit is sad. i feel sorry for you, damn.

whoa that must totally suck....good thing its not me! that'd probably depress the hell outta me.

i don't even see that anywhere in my future, real talk.

is this a personal reflection? if so, thanks for the advice. i won't be stupid and stay with a philandering male until i reach 45. shit, i won't stay with a man until i'm 25 lol...i date women. i just get bored sometimes when i'm single, and then your husband strolls along with his ring off trying to take me out-of-town/to the club/to the show he suddenly realized he'd rather watch with me than you (he didn't sell those tickets, silly!).

see how many of these females in this forum are willing to be faithful? usually they're more honest with their shit too (not always, but the odds are higher). i don't give a fuck. besides, i don't base my station in life in relation to other motherfuckers...so I am not ever any "his" or "her" side-pieces, the individuals i'm fucking are all Xanpieces to me. i uniquely cherish, admire, respect and care about all four of my fuckbuddies. we do our thing safe and sound and keep it real with each other about what we expect and want.

what's a broken home? i mean, my parents (married for 23 years, by the way) have a new beautiful house in Atlanta, i think its totally fixed. and since you don't know me but wish to practice your diagnostic skills on a nigga, peep it: Xan is a college graduate with two parents who are also. i had a great family structure and was given the option to choose my own path in life on all levels, because i don't follow. i do what i please.

again, this typically attracts your man to me and people like me.

stop your shit, ms. lady.

i don't have a metaphorical "elevator", all my thoughts are originally on a higher plateau.

i don't recall validating "cheating". i don't cheat when i'm truly commited to a situation, and i don't sit idly by watching someone else cheat. i'm just not retarded enough to believe in the cute little lies that make optimistic women--like you, obviously--think that because some nigga has added a pseudo-title to your status in his life it actually means something...

"since i'm his WIFE, that means his dick will only become stimulated by and/or function with ME! see my ring?! my man LOVES me!!!"

you're right sweetie, your man does love you.

ALL your men love you, ladies--they tell me this every time we fuck.

My parents have been married for 40 years....so.....nope that's not it......and it was very healthy....I received a full scholarship and graduated from a top university, so it's not the education thing either.....and if a woman wants a no strings attatched relationship with a man until she's 55 who cares....It's her life, and she gets to choose. And why wouldn't having free will make a person happy. So the only happy people on earth are MARRIED.....I watch Dr. Phil, and I was one of those HAPPY people for 12 years...IT'S ALL A LIE! Not sure where i read this, but it's been proven that the happiest people are SINGLE WOMEN AND MARRIED MEN. Which would indicate that married women are miserable, because they have to deal with the fool everyday, and the single men are miserabe because they don't have anyone to help out with the bills
.
I'm not justifying what I do, but I do it....and right now it works, if in 2 years or 2 days it's not, i'll move on, it's called free will, and I love that.

both of you are pathetic. You got shorty up there that like's to fuck girls and guys and this other one that is a scorned divorcee, I seriously rest my case. That "free will" you speak of will bite you in your ass something serious. It's not about marriage its about respect for woman hood. Oh and I wouldn't be a "jump off" I got far too much respect for myself and women thats the reason why women will never rise because of poisonous venom like the two of you, smh

and it's the type of person you are that is depending on the type of men you seek and draw in. Clearly, the men the two of you surround yourselves with are men who are pussy hungry, without sense, impulsive and find it difficult to use logic; not my type

exactly. sure. lol.

men like the ones you date. thanks for sharing!

Actually my marriage was pretty typical...ups and down's, but for the most part it was good....I left because I just wasn't happy in the marriage anymore, and I knew we were making each other miserable....I thought it best that I go find my happiness, and let him go and find his....so not scorned at all. I'm very happy, and like I said previously, I date, and they've all been single men....I just have this ONE friend who'se married that i've been hanging with for 6 years. I'm not out looking for the married men in the world. But I also understand women that only want to attatch themselves to men in relationships.....men can be 4 handfuls, and sometimes you just want to do you without the hassle of a committment. So yes I believe in free will. I'm also not a big propnent of monogomy.....so......yeah

Very Powerful! Mind you, I've been on all side's of this, and being a wife takes an illusory mind..." he loves me, he would never do that to me, and if he does, that other bitch is the problem, because he treats me like a queen, and we have kids, I put it down, and he loves me....and....blah, blah, blah." The wife forget's that he had a woman when she met him, she forget's that he was getting with her, and another woman at the same time, and she had to MAKE him choose....but he didn't. Good Sex is powerful, felling free is powerful, and as most men say 'a'int nothing better than some P*ssy, except some new p*ssy.'
So do I believe that ALL men cheat? Nope, but i believe that men that CAN cheat, do.
I know more about this man then his wife, I'm not a hoe. But I know that pain, so if it keeps your illusion in tact, call me what you want.

Like Pimp C said, "you have some women who do and some women who don't". It depends on the female, if she's been severly scorned by a prior relationship she is more likely to play both sides of the fence. If she has dealt with the typical man-woman sh^t and been hurt a lil bit then she is less likely to be the second toe. So it depend on the chic and her boundaries................publicly its 50/50 privately 70/30...the bigger number being the dip on the side.

I have been a side chick before and u do eventually get attached to the man and you start to want more from the relationship. Always remember what goes aound comes around. These chicks are lying to theirselves and only have sex to offer a man. They think that they have the upperhand but I don't think so. They need to wake up and get some real self-esteem. It is soo obvious that they are lacking. Men cheat because they are immature and cowards. And their girlfriends can be giving them everything they need. Find your own Men.

Wait....it was bad enough when wives and girlfriends were the only stupid ones ignoring and putting up with their men's lies and cheating....so now side chicks believe they have the upper hand, that they're in control and are NOT being lied too??? ROFLMAO

Stupid main chicks + stupid side chicks = a bunch of triflin men who have outsmarted you both

Wooooo chile, ya'll n*ggas have really stepped up your game huh...

Oh gosh, all you chicks kill me. You are as important/special as the man that you're fuckin' makes you. Just b/c a dude tells u his house business that doesn't make you special, it means a nigga needs a therapist and it's cheaper to fuck u and talk about his problems. But all of you dumb bishes think your good pussy makes him do all that shyt. Most men I know and fucked will tell u the best pussy is the newest pussy. So, if you spend 1 yr or more fuckin' a dude as a side piece, you OLD SIDEPIECE PUSSI!!!

I was played for the side piece, unknown to me, and when I found out I high stepped it outta there. I will not ever make it easy for sum dumb/coward MoFo to hurt/lie to his woman/wife/whatevaucallit. I will not take scraps or bustdowns from anyfuckin' body. Now, there's a difference w. men who date multiple women, but have noone who can claim them. I have nuff respect for a man who is honest about dating multiple women and I can date multiple men. However, when you choose to settle down then you both know what you have to do. Commit.
If u a wife who stays w/ a cheater, then u get what you deserve. If u a side piece and u know and stay w/ dude. You get what u deserve too. Let's just hope and pray that u don't get a gift that keeps on givin' like HIV/AIDS.
*two fingas in da air, PEACE*

well, as you can see, most of us who've seen the light have positive responses...

so fuck your depressed opinions. hope your method works out for you! :)

(i'm 98.2% sure it won't, but good lucking handling all that!)

Why is it when a woman decides to do it her way...the sheep dog come out, and try to bark her back into the heard with all the ....you ain't shit...you a bish...you are this and that....look I'm a human being living and navigating this world just like all you self righteous chicks, and whatever decision I make, I make for me, so for those that have an issue...I say stay focused on the road in front of you, and don't worry about the road that's in front of me....I'm good. If I only want to F*ck married men, for the rest of my life, than you know what.....it's my business. And I wouldn't call me old p*ssy, I like to call myself, A FRIEND! That sounds better....don't you think?

Oh, and what's up with the STD comment whenever someone says their seeing someone that's in a relationship.....that doesn't seem very logical....the other woman normally (well the smart one's) will make a man put on a condom because she knows the real him, but a wife very rarely makes a man put on a condom, so who is more at risk for a STD? Ecspecially if he's really out their.

the main's a prude & the side piece is a cooold freak! Whew!

I'm 24 and i have been the other woman willingly several times. When i was younger i rationalized it as a way to eliminate emotional attachments or drama (im not in the business of wrecking homes). I actually maintained a relationship with a married man for 5 years, simply because when we met he had only been married 6 months. Throughout the tenure of our situation at times he became overbearing and had to be reminded that he had prior obligations(a wife and child). Due to his situation, our interaction were on my terms. When we took trips...it was according to my schedule and I went shopping it was with his credit card. Our children who are only 1 month apart actually still interact everyday although the relationship is dead....he actually thought i would want him when his wife left him, although i never gave any implications to that effect.

The biggest benefit in my opinion (based on personal experience) is the freedom. The freedom to decide when and if i wanted to deal with him. Plus the escape clause.

for some reason i always look at the title of your topic meaning something else. like on this one. i thought it was from you and your homeboy situation and 5 reasons that your girl would let him hit, but that's just my outtake...

I have never been a side chick. I have been a jump off with a single man, well a good friend so i guess that would make up friends with beni's. But I can't recall any reason why I would want to sleep with anybodies boyfriend on purpose. I think that could get ugly if the other woman found out...my mind wouldnt be at ease knowing i'm sleeping with somebodies man that they are potentially head over hills with.