The 7 Types Of Men You Meet At The Club

Posted in Relationships on Feb 03, 2009

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goon2

The Goon

The Description: You may see him posted up against the wall rolling a blunt or in the crowd, body all stiff with his arms folded. You may never see his eyes because he wears his dark sunglasses the entire night. He lacks social skills and can only talk about a few topics. Tattoos are not mandatory but you may want to check the face for teardrops.

His Catch Phrases: “Hey Ms. Lady” “I don’t give a fcuk!” “Hey Red, can I walk with you?”

How To Deal: If you’ve been wanting to try out the Exotic Asphyxiation, this may be your guy. He is sure to put it down in the bedroom for hours and leave you laying there with your edges sweated out. Just be ready to jump up and have your story straight when the Feds come busting through the door.

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  • Devil's Advocate
    Are the chicks commenting the same ones who get mad when they see a brotha out with a non-black woman. Just saying.........*Ducks Behind the Desk*
  • MissSexED
    I personally don't care. I am all for love, however you get it! But my brother's girlfriend of 3 years is Japanese/White and he gets all types of stares.
  • nynikki
    Hey, you forgot Captain Save-A-Hoe: The dude with the gov't job (with health benefits, ladies!) who assumes you have nothing going on in your life so you'll be impressed that he has his own apt. and maybe a car.

    And if I had a dollar for everytime I heard "hey miss lady" I'd be retired right now!
  • Art2dope
    i ain't the cool guy or the lame.... or even the goon! i just barely like to go to clubs, maybe a lounge. But so far the clubs i've been to in New York haven't been really appealing. Maybe i've gone to some bad spots. But i prefer going to a nice lounge relaxing a couple of drinks and able to talk to the person without screaming. SO WHAT YOU GONNA DO NEXT?... HUH? I SAID WHAT YOU GONNA... NEVER MIND! I DON'T KNOW THE TIME!

    so i tend to keep away from that. don't get me wrong i'll go to the club, you can say i'm the drag/tag along guy. that they friends wanna hang out and they bring you thru cause you ain't doing shit, or you tag along cause you ain't doing shit. lol
  • Prom Queen
    This was hilarious. Manly because this guy bought me a drink this weekend and just wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't even enjoy myself.
  • MissSexED
    See, that's why sometimes you have to say, "No, I got it" but if they look good (which is rare!) I say, "No, let me buy you one."
  • CUTIE WITA BOOTY
    I DONT KNO WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT, BUT I GOT CURSED OUT BY THIS GUY BECAUSE I WOULDN'T LET HIM TOUCH ME. ITS NOT MY FAULT I CAUGHT HIM DIGGING UP HIS NOSE DURING THE NIGHT. HE HAD ON SHADES IN THE DARK AS CLUB STR8 LAME! GREAT POST SEX ED
  • maybe he watned to boodie with you! Can you say boogie nights!! lmbao
  • LMAO that was so wrong! lol
  • Jamie8706
    LOL
  • What about the women who come to the club and do nothing but text message? Yall could have stayed home for all that!
  • MissSexED
    Okay, well what type of women do you encounter at the club?? We have the text chicks...what else?
  • Ahh...these are the exact reasons I usually ignore men in the club, unless I already know them, or am in need of a drink(and sometimes it's better to just buy your own).
  • What if you're really feeling someone do you still ignore them?
  • Yes. Why? I don't go to the club to find or meet any new men. I usually go to hang with my girls, have a few drinks, and listen to music. I usually just smile and keep walking, and/or thank them for compliments/drinks, but definitely keep it moving.
  • Isis
    I have ran into almost all of them (don't think I ever ran into the DL dude but you can never be to sure) but mostly I keep bumping into the man hoe (SMDH). . . and they are hard as hell to resist. But hey I go out to dance not to meet and greet.
  • 216skillz
    There's always the birthday girl, the nervous girl (usually trying to make sure her friend doesn't leave with you), and the female hoe (you know her when you see her).
  • Lisalove
    There must b a follow up to this!!!...

    the different type of girls you meet in the club!

    I would love to hear that one..Im a female so that would b great to hear!

    And I think every man has a little bit of all 7 (yes even the DL one..lol) in them!....lol
  • MissSexED
    I agree! I'm ready for the different types of girls....Xilla?!?
  • ChucksFavorite
    this is too funny! i have met all 7 of these men in a club before...and sometimes all in the same night!
  • Nixx_01
    Good list. Encountering these types of men on several occassions made me into text girl. :) I don't even like to go to the club but when I do... I am armed with my phone and people to text all night long if the DJ is lame. And around AZ that is damn near guranteed.
  • cherishcarver08
    Were you at the club with me this weekend.lol. I danced with the cool guy all night but I am married so he wasn't the one but he was very respectful and all he wanted to know was my name. Now my friend on the other hand was with the old man the the sexed up drunk dude but he wasn't on the list. Anywho good list
  • Breezy
    lol.you saved the best for last. i text in the club just so i can merely avoid encountering these dudes.. i've run across a few on the list.. good job! .. that women's list should be tight
  • Classyand Sassy
    LMAO @ this list!...the funny thing is that just about every time u go to a club in nyc, you will encounter all of these men either in the club or in the street walking to your train....sad
  • LongTimeReader
    I understand you want to increase the pages visited on your website but the 50 clicks to read one article is so annoying. Your old format was much better.
  • This blog is long and for it to be on one page would have been extremely long! Also I made more money last month then I did all last year with this format and since no one is clicking the donate button and ALL I DO is blog (which is paying pretty well I might add) this format is staying. I hope you can continue to read and I don't do it with all post just the list. and most time its only like 3 or 4 pages. Next time though Email me. I don't bite. and I'm not mean.
  • LongTimeReader
    Welp if it don't make dollars it doesn't make sense. Do you pimp. It won't stop me reading because I love the blog...just whining...glad you are able do do well from it.
  • Thank you my dear...I will admit even though I didn't do it on purpose... I did just leave the extra page!! lol my bad about that! lol
  • Eva
    im a text girl only bcuz most of the guys i mess with are more than likely in the same club tryna meet up with me afterwards...O but if ima pay $5/10 to get in trust ima shake a tailfeather.... I met this guy in the club recently he said he was 21 he was really 27,supposedly going to the NBA yea rite long story short he was a street pharmacist and currently is in jail wit 2 felony charges and on like $200000 bond...im done wit meeting dudes in the club that was the last straw
  • Nixx_01
    DAMN! That is a hell of a story!!
  • I met a lame. I usually meet goons and guys who are doing too much, but once I met a lame. He was hispanic, I think. He offered to buy me a drink, and I tried to turn him down by saying I'm not old enough to drink (this was a year or two ago) and then he offered to buy me a cranberry juice. I said no thanks and my friend (the cock-blocker girl in the club, lol) pulled me away. He followed and asked if he could buy me a hot dog. While I was looking confused, my friend yelled at him and tore him a new asshole, thinking he was being dirty or something. He left with his head down like Charlie Brown. When we left the club, we saw the hot dog stand outside, lol.
  • No IceCream Love
    How 'bout the guy who comes to the club by HIMSELF! Trust me ladies stay clear of that one!!!!
  • Mya
    THIS was on point.. but i think you forgot one ..... The Athlete! LOL.. but he could be put into a couple of those types! :)
    Great Post!
  • Lovebird
    If there was one for females I would be the Independent/snob Woman. lol. My friends get on to me for acting overly Indepenent in the club. I have no problem buying my own drinks. When Beyonce "Diva" comes on I'm headed straight to the stage to let everyone know I am Diva. lol. But for the most part I'm chilling and hardly ever go on the dance floor. And when most guys try to talk to me I ignore them if they say something really lame I grab me I look at them crazy as hell. A dudes swag has to be through the roof to get my number.
  • Quiana
    New to this site and I love it!! This is so true about the goons. They are nice to look at though.
  • JP
    This message is for Lola...why would you go to the club to drink and hang with your girls??? You could do all that at home with a mix cd and a bottle of your drink of choice for way cheaper.

    The girl I dont like is the one who is in the middle of the dance floor dancing like a stripper but refuses to dance with anyone. And I dont mean just cuz she turned me down...I mean every guy in the lub.
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