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She Still Doesn’t Count You
Posted in Rated Grown Up, Sexual Intellectuals on 28. Jan, 2009
The following was written by Miss Sex ED, for BlogXilla.com
Previously: She Probably Doesn’t Count You
There will usually come a point in a young ladies life when she will say to herself, “That was a waste of time,” or “I could’ve had a V8.” And the reason behind that statement is usually a guy that just totally disappointed you in bed and made you have this conversation with your girl:
“So how was (insert name here) last night?”
“Who? Oh, girl he doesn’t count.”
I can’t be the only one that has had this conversation before. Let me give you a quick run down on what happened the last time I had this problem. I was talking to this guy for awhile and things were cool. We enjoyed each other’s company, chemistry was there, and we were kind of inseparable for a little minute. So ultimately the time came to do what adults do. He comes over to my apartment and we were chilling watching TV (isn’t that how it all begins). Cuddling leads to kissing, which leads to touching, which leads to more foreplay and him putting on a condom and getting on top of me.
I place a pillow under my butt for prime positioning and get ready. He enters me slowly and after about three strokes I’m swiveling my hips throwing it back at him. All of a sudden I hear him murmur something. Now, I hate having to say, “Huh” during sex, especially when it’s dirty talk, so I pay it no mind. Next thing I know, his face changes up and he nuts. So you already know in my head I’m like, “Oh hell naw.” I look at the clock and I swear only one minute had passed. You know what he said? “I’m sorry…I just wanted it so bad.”
So in my mind I immediately put him in the category. What does it take for you to put someone in the “He doesn’t count” category where you act like it never happened and will deny it until the day you die? And guys, do you ever see a girl and think, “Damn I wish I hadn’t banged that chick?”
Can you name a time that you just don’t count towards your number
My “doesn't count” dude was basically what is affectionately known as The Jackhammer… BLECH!!! I ended that mess then and there: “Don't call me no more!”
I should have known something was up when dude turned out to be a bad kisser but noooooo, I just had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Ugh!
What's funny is something similar happened to me on Facebook. I bagged a chick who only had pics from the chest up. I get to her house and shorty not only weights 2x more than me, she was HELLA ugly! I chilled for like 5-t10 minutes then got the fcuk outta dodge! This is why in my Facebook Rules of Engagement I added the rule about checkin tagged pics, as it gives a more comprehensive view of who you are dealing with!
I've also heard the “he doesn't count” method of thinking. only problem is, he counts it and if he's a talker, then the entire block/campus/twitter community will know he smashed. Saying no is a lie. Saying he doesn't count is a copout. I definitely feel why you don't count some cats though hahahahaha!
I won't front either… Its happened b4 when “I got excted cause I wanted soo bad” (thats STILL hilarious!) Do believe that I went in for round 2 and hit a grand slam! Thats when the pressure is on, because you put up back 2 back duds and its curtains fellas!
Great read!
The ones that you cant watch minutes….but instead are down to counting PUMPS (or STROKES) instead are so pitiful you dont want to even use energy remembering their name LOL
I know I don't count on a few chicks list tea even me. But mostly because 1 I was a jerk 2 I bust fast. And not because I wanted it so bad but just because I could give two craps if they came or not. LOL so terrible I know but I mean hey I think Icount everything I remember.
The “he doesn't count” method is not a copout…lol…but if I can't remember it…then it didn't happen.
So how did she react the first time when you “got excited” because she was a good one for letting you get a round two
I count them all: the good, the bad and the ugly! lol.
Hell yeah…
But it don't count
Which means it never happened
Thus, nothin to talk about
:-X
Ha Ha!!!
I remember this commander in the us navy I used to date. He always said to me ,”my daddy told me if you can't please your woman- man you ain't schitt.” Thats was one of the main things that stuck with him from a boy his daddy taught him.
All I can say is thats pretty much the truth.
I am not trying to put a guy dwn if he got some physical problems- but there are some things, therapy and meds ect. that a man or a woman can do to try help themselves.
I remember the second chick I ever slept with wasn't so fresh *bows head in shame* Playas fuck up but I still see her on campus til this day and we act like we never seen each other in life lol
I have had this happen to me twice the first guy he just totally gets no points for that bullshit. I really feel like I wasted my goods on him, he was just horrible. Ugh! The second guy I let get another chance after this happened and he most definitely redeemed himself.
see.. that's why i don't play around with females when i go in the bedroom. i'm going hard. cause that's what ya'll do, talk shit if the nigga didn't perform from the get go. i ain't gone lie though i had that happen to me before, but since then i try to give EVERY female a night to remember.
I only say “it doesn't count” when we really didn't do anything.I have had an encouner when as soon as he put it in I let him get a pump or two then I realized I didn't wanna do it. So yea,that didn't count.lol
I learned the hard way (no pun intended) that if they don't want you to touch it OR see it, it's probably not going to count…Dudes only get one chance to make a GOOD first impression, if you fail…u go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect the “right to re-fuck” coupon. You are the weakest link, goodbye!
my “doesn't count” dude was a big time FB player at my school. big, muscular and cute. from FL and i had nothing but good dealings with that state so we chilled. he had chopped down a few girls that couldn't keep their mouths shut, so i thought i was in for something good. ummm, not so much.
he put it in and i'm like, that's it? he was long, but wasn't strong. i gave him 5 pumps to make something happen. when it didn't get better, i got him off me and put his ass out my house. he ain't talk to me for 2 years. lesson learned = always have the first encounter with the lights on. that way u won't give anyone a chance who doesn't deserve it and WASTE A NUMBER!
i count em all…..the good, the, bad, and the quick draws!
Senior year… Me and my friends had a senior party. So the graduation was literally the next day so we was getting fucked up and spilling are guts. Dancing bugging out, shit was on point. As the night progresses and i'm getting tipsy as hell. Some shorty comes to me and whispers something in my ear. I just nod, and pull her arm as we hit the dance floor. Now as we were dancing bachata, i started feeling up on her feeding from the tipsy horny drive, and she rubbing on my package. So i was like word! After the song ended we parted, i return to were my friends are were they had seen what me and the shorty was doing on the dance floor. They starting chanting and putting that bug in my ear to go and do the DO!
So long story short i take her back to my cribzo, at the time i was living with my grandmother but i was tipsy and didn't care. Took her to my room (mind you it was raining that night) start taking her clothes off. When things were getting hot and heavy, someone wasn't… my MANXILL! (as xilla would say) I was embarrassed as hell. i told her wait a moment as i go into the bath room and get myself together. I sat in the toilet and had a private talk with the private. try to calm myself down see if i can regroup myself. I then go in to redeem myself….
THE NIGHT ENDED IN EMBARRASSMENT!
“Don't let a rookie into the field of champions, he might just fumble the ball!” signing off Art Madden reporting live from BlogXilla!
BOOM!
everything counts there's no exceptions
if I could name it then it would count… I plea the fifth…
They all count.
Some of them never got a second go at the goods, but they did enter me thus, it was official…….unfortunately.
Note to self: No more than 4 shots of tequila with kush……….SMH…….NO NO NO
My thoughts exactly
i dont know who said it but when they dont want you to see or touch it thats a start of a bad few moments lol. i'm a litle naive so it took me twice to figure that one out. usually guys cant wait to show their manzilla during foreplay in anticipation of some mouth action. not to say that if they are small they cant please you but they're lacking the confidence that they know what they're doing so they usualy dont.
My doesn't count was with this guy who had the money, clothes, cars, etc. We flirted every time we saw each other. So the attraction was there. So after multiple invites, I finally decide to take him up on his offer to get a nice room and “have a nice time” WOW. 1st dude almost rips my damn pants trying to get them off. 2nd when he finally gets on top this is what he had to say “Its good huh” “You should have to pay for this dick” WTF dude come on now. Really?? Me pay for your dicc??” WOW that is all I can say. So needless to say, I couldn't get outta there quick enuff. WOW
I have my fourth date tonight with a new guy that I'm feeling thus far. I have relationship phobia so we agreed to take things slow…We have agreed to hold-off on the sex and just “mind-fuck” for 6 weeks LOL. I'm concerned that I'll grow to like him and then the sex will be horrible…then we'd have to break up. I want him to count! LOL
That's actually a good idea! 6 weeks can be bad and good, reasons both pretty obvious! Well have you at least found out what he was working with? Maybe through dancing or a poke through the jeans?? Or you can be like me…”Let me just see it”
I'm gonna have to cop a feel this evening as we make out like teenagers and he tries to get to 2nd base! LMAO! (Yup, its already planned.) He has been doing a lot of shit talking, I really hope he can back it up!
Uh oh…I've heard of shit talkers that have been put under “does not count” Hopefully your situation will be much better. Just don't forget to cop that feel!!!!!
Good luck!
this is what i like to call the “L” category or simply a loss lol i mean i havent take a “L” or two or three in my day but at the end of the day I still did it so i cant TOTALLY disregard it because as much as i dont want to believe that i hit that, in all actuality i did. SO ladies yea you can have that list or category but if that conversation about how many partners you've had comes up then you need to be including all the people on the list lol
Oh yes! I was a freshman in college, dude talked hella shit! Had me nervous and scared to give in because I didn't think I would be able to handle it. Long story short, (pun intended) his dick felt like a pinky, but his head game had me spent!!!
*sighs and reminisces*
My “doesn't count” moment was with a guy that literally stuck his manxilla (lol) in me 5 times before a humiliating defeat. haha
What makes him the king of “That fool didn't count” category is how much he hyped his performance up. He all on the phone talkin about how raw he is and how he gonna make me cum 20-30 times (I doubted it) and he couldnt last. THEN he made up soooooooo many excuses.
~You too tight
~I aint had it in a while, that's why I busted like that
~If you had sucked my dick first this wouldnt have happened
~We shoulda started out with you on top
~I swear that never happened to me before, my ex-girl was a sex fanatic
~I was jackin off a little before I came over
etc… lmfao.
He wanted to redeem himself so he tries to squeeze his limp meat into another condom. After a good 15 minutes of him not being able to get another erection we i called it quits. I wasn't even wet no more!!!!
Tsk Tsk Tsk… lol
Hell yea I remember, but I act like I have no clue
I don't understand why dudes give up though. Go for a second round and try to redeem yourself.
I'm with a lot of ya'll whe u say it ALL counts. I even count the one dude who stuck in for LITERALLY 6 strokes and he had to pull out cause we heard keys in the door. SMDH………his mother came home early. lol ahhhhhh, the days of creeping in somebody mama house (NEVER AGAIN).
But I digress,
If there was penetration, be it small, quick, or wack—–it counts. Intercourse was official. U entered/allowed someone to enter ur most personal space. Sorry, u gotta live with it! lol
The sad part is they really do want it that bad. Try again young soldier. I may let you go one more time for anxiety jitters. After that you might get a BDR *Bad DI#$ Report* warning those closest to me, so they wont waste a number on you.
It def wasn't no 60 seconds or less like described in the post, lol. I'm not the type to just tear off clothes and go in. Foreplay is a tool used by the best blacksmiths to create precious items out of raw material (c) me, lol.
I really extend myself and I had a long week where I didn't get any sleep (real talk) I was exhausted and put that out there up front. She was cool and I got caught off guard. Round 2 was advantage:streetz. lol.
Dudes just gotta be real up front and make it count because chicks will talk to other chicks AND women! Thats why I made it a POINT to go in and not come back until mission was complete.
Lets talk about how women will talk a whole lotta shit, but when we get to the task, its lamer than our last President? Can I not count them?
“Never though I'd say this shit
Baby im good
You can keep ya puss
I don't want no more Bush”