From The Vault: Cheating, What’s That?

Posted in Relationships on Dec 29, 2008

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A picture of Reggie Bush, and another woman started this big discussion about cheating, is this cheating, did he bang the groupie chick who is known for banging ball players and has been seen on the fifty year line at the superdome? He started telling me about how he does xy and z and its not cheating. The conversation got pretty intense. So here are a few of my theories of what’s cheating and what’s not.

WHAT IS CHEATING: [while in a relationship]

  • 1. KISSING – b/c it leads to other things,
  • 2. GOING out to dinner, movies, bowling, etc and not telling your significant other about the outing is cheating. Simply because once you do regardless of how friendly the outing was, it leaves your other half the chance to assume. You lied, they found out, nothing happened but you lied. So in your partner’s mind you cheated.
  • 3. Giving out your number. Depending on a persons motive, if someone ask for your number more than likely they find you attractive and want to do you like Billy Bob did Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball. Chances are they might even call you while you’re with your boo, which will no doubt lead to questioning and speculation.
  • 4. Making new friends of the other Gender - It’s okay to have friends, we are all adults right? Wrong! You should know that the new friend is plan B whether you want to believe it or not. Your other half now has to be on his/her best behavior b/c if he/she slips, the new friend will sense it and make their move at the right time. Next thing you know your boo is ass out bumping uglies w/ their new friend while you’re home blowing up someone’s cell phone.
  • 5. Accepting Gifts - If someone gives you a gift more than likely they are trying to draw feelings out of you. It’s nothing if it’s Christmas or your birthday but the random rose or new Jordan’s in the middle of June! Ask yourself, WHY the hell are they buying you sh*t!! Your lover is going to think, why did this chick get him some new J’s he’s f**king her that’s why!

If you have any more ideas or theory’s please feel free to leave them in the comment box


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  • Late Night Calls/Texts- It's wrong to make new friends, and I think it's wrong to still call/text your old friends when it's booty call hours. Sure, you may have done that in the past and maybe that's the time you guys are used to speaking to each other. However, one day, your bf/gf is going to do something to piss you off and you're going to run straight to that person you've been calling/texting all the time. We all knows what will happen then...
  • yep! We sure do, I had a girl who had an ex call her up at like 12 oclock and she actually had a conversation with him... I didn't say anything, but then i noticed her body language changed and her use of words change she said it's difficult... the next day she went out to the club on a whim... she was probably getting her butt done that next night...
  • Ummm getting head is a form of CHEATING lol....guys like to say it's not cheating b/c they're not doing anything 2 the female....b/c she's on him....etc lol.

    Granted some guys can get head & not f*ck is the female can make him climax b/c he's satisfied. But 9 times out of 10, it'll lead to penetration.
  • I don't know about that... i got head a lot of times and iddin't have sex.... the chick wanted to but i just play lke i can't get it back up... usually works! lol
  • SugarTits
    I'm still unclear on the whole head issue. I had a patient come in our office last week with gonorrhea (yes in 2008) because her "BOO " ( I hate that word) got some head from a brizzle and he took it back to the house. You gotta know who's suckin yo Johnson............I'm just sayin.......
  • either way if u was in a relationship it's still cheating bruh! lol
  • Inca Kola
    I think anything involving private/ sexual parts is definitely cheating ...lololol
  • I got heads tons of times... It's not cheating it usually works if you tell them you can't get it back up!! lol
  • Mr_Jones
    Cheating is a thin line. You can say going out with someone and your mate does not know is cheating. Kissing is border line. Giving out your number is cheating. I think cheating is anything you do that you can't bring into your releationship.
  • Very good points. Kevin, but kissing is border line and giving out your number is cheating?
  • Thoney Gangstasweet
    just be honest, i agree with this post, and practice intense honesty. if i'm not feeling my current or want something new i'll say that and keep it moving. it's usually kinda painful but it needs to be done. i've never cheated ever and don't plan on it and i don't see why its sooo hard. then again i don't get feelings involved so there lies the complication...mmmm...
  • Deeny
    Basically, if ur doing something, or PLANNING on doing something and u have to ask urself "dang, will i get in trouble for this?" THEN ITS CHEATING!!! lol

    Okay, okay---like everything, there are exceptions to the rule.....but we're all grown folks here people. You know if something is not cool and inappropriate. I agree with the above comments, things like booty call hour (after 11:30pm) calls/texts----inappropriate! booty/titty picture mail----inappropriate! lol People LOVE to use the the excuse that they can't control what someone else does (ex. fresh myspace glitter comments and junk) which is true, U can't control someone's actions, but u CAN check em'!!! If someone has been checked on something, most likely they won't do it again. But if u keep letting things slide than you are in a way co-signin' for the fuckery to continue and ur partner has EVERY RIGHT to feel some kinda way about it.

    Let's face it, some people don't have the ability to let some shit roll off their backs and be confident in their relationship. We like to throw around the word "insecurity" like it's such a shameful thing to be, but the truth is, MOST of us have found ourselves feelin some kinda way about our significant other and whether or not we were the only ones. Does that mean we all are insecure with ourselves? NO. It means we're friggin human. And if u've been shitted on b4 than its second nature to feel some kinda way often! With all that said, we all should make an effort to be more "sensitive" to our partners and realize that even if we know nothing will come out of something we're doing (harmless shit, flirting, gettin a number to keep on file just incase lol), just refrain from it. Cause if our boo finds out---shit is gonna get complicated and who wants to go through all the explaining and justification? If it REALLY is nothing, then its not worth the drama.

    NOW if it IS something----ur ass needs to really think if u wanna be in an exclusive situation or not! But that's a whole other topic :)
  • SugarTits
    BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH..........................................................

    So what? No one person can control nor WANT to control another. I'm unclear as to where the situation gets ugly........is it (a) the fact the other party participated in said acts or (b) the fact the other party participated in said acts and did not disclose information?

    I need some clarity.................
  • Deeny
    I think its both. Don't get me wrong, there is a difference between being inappropriate and actually doing something hurtful, but they're both destructive to the other person's confidence in the relationship. Whether or not the other person knows what's going on doesn't change the fact that it will more than likely make them feel uncomfortable and look at u with the side-eye.
  • SugarTits
    Thanks Deeny...........

    So...........

    with that being said do you prefer that you know, that he/she look you in the eyes as a person and tell you or that they do it without you knowing and continue to be dishonest with you?

    I think many people have a very difficult time handling the truth.
  • Deeny
    I would want to know---in a tactful way. Don't run to me as soon as u get home talkin bout some "babe, this chick up to me at work asking for my number to come to this party she havin', but i really think she wants the dick....don't worry though babe, I peep her game." lol But if she calls one day and I ask who was that, i expect to hear something like "some chick at work who wanted to invite me to her party, but I'm not tryna go., I don't know her like that".
  • Ant_from_Chi
    I think it's if the other party participated in said acts and did not disclose this to the other person in the relationship, then it's just plain old fuckery (i still love that word). We can all go back and forth all we want to, but we all know when we are doing some shit that our other won't dig. Basically, if you're about to do some suspect shit, ask yourself how would you feel if it was done to you. If you can take it being done to you, carry on. But ...if this is the case, maybe the single life is for you.

    Hey Sugar
  • Princess0889
    I only have one rule for cheating and I tell any guy that I am exclusive with what I consider cheating.

    Number one rule: If you wouldn't do it in front me then it is most likely cheating. Point Blank. Period.

    @Thoney I never understood why people cheat just leave it is a lot simpler.

    @blogxilla head is cheating if your girl is doing her job by giving you head and putting that ill na-na down
  • ChucksFavorite
    I keep it cut and dry...ANYTHING that WE do that is done with someone else is cheating! and if you have to ask, the answer is most definately YES! there's no grey areas...
  • miesha
    xilla!
    how u gone say giving out your number, kissing and making new friends is cheating but giving head is NOT? huh?
    u r funny dude.
    getting head is way worse...come on now! that's very intimate and if u can say no to a kiss then u can say no to head. they r both wrong and behind the back of your partner right? isn't that the premise of the lie? so lying (as u said in the blog) is cheating and u cant' trust the person and if u r doing it behind the back then your mate will not trust u. so if u get head from some girl it's the same thing. trust ur woman would not want that...not any woman.
    plus if a girl gives u head she just may want to do more...or at least kiss u or u to kiss her 1st...just saying.
  • i think cheating consists of:
    1) doing something that you wouldn't want your significant other doing
    2) if you have to think to yourself "would she mind" or "should i be doing this right now?", you probably shouldnt be doing it!!!
  • Shay
    LMAO All Of The Above Is So True........
  • HeadMistress
    I agree with all accept the "making new friends"

    If you're in a relationship, you can never make new friends??? F*ck That!

    It's not to say don't keep a close eye on the "new" next b*tch for awhile but don't stomp and pout and grill a n*gga about it until you have a SOLID reason too.

    This is where trust, security and realisticality (new word, write it down) about your relationship comes into play, if a woman/man can't trust their man/woman to make friends with another woman/man and keep it platonic then that's probably a man/woman she/he don't need to be with because he's/she's violated trust before

    Anyway this new friend will be "our" new friend anyway cause any friend of yours is a friend of mine!

    Bottom line If you show your bf/gf the UTMOST respect at all times your friends will also, even if they have ulterior motives or simply don't like the bf/gf, they will still show respect because they know you won't have it any other way...
  • Lady Jei
    All of the above is 100% correct.

    If I am not satisfying you as your woman, then I do not need to be your woman. And you need to let me go and me a woman to someone else who wants it.
  • Accepting Gifts- hmmm I don't think that's cheating! Hell! If he offered it to me on my Birthday, in the middle of June, on the 4th of July or whenever, I'm taking it. Thank You!! ...and keep it moving. The attempt to "draw feelings" would be squashed in my case because the only emotion evoked would be one of GRATITUDE! Its all about self-control!
  • Winterbaby
    Cheatin is doing anythin you wouldnt want your boo to know about or doin anythin with a member of the opposite sex you wouldnt want your girl/man to be doin with someone else
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