p.s. weren't u the one serving up asses a moment ago. don't be madd now. just kis it! i likes it that way.

I'm ignorant right, so why are you still going on and on, why talk to the ignorant?

re: ant's comments let me calrify, HE personally enjoys sistas of every color, and admitted to being ignorant to the plight of darker women/assumed i was exaggerating[like u] until his own friend said she'd been experiencing what i mentioned her entire life.

i understand the power of the thought and the tongue, and where you were trying to go as i routinely practice speaking my blessings into existence. i have done some amazing things in only 25 years and i'm sooooo thankful and humbled! i am also nobody's fool. i'm not going to waste precious energy on something that isn't w/in my control. [dating a black guy around my age] i

go on facebook, or myspace, or ask random people and see if you don't hear what i've told you and what ant CO SIGNED. you're clouding facts with you errant judgment and the two are not the same chile! stop trying to discredit me. Ant said his friend said EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. i went to dinner with him and he shared his suprise with me and then second'd that surpise on this blog….any common idiot would say that he CO SIGNED or AGREED with me, so what's ur major malfunction doll?

i never claimed to represent all of chicago, but i am putting a voice behing a trend, there are acceptions to every rule and i'm not denying that, however where I AM rolling in the circles I ROLL IN brown-black women are NOT the jam. [note i debo my way around from fancy political functions to fried chicken shacks in the asscrack of the city. thus making my view pretty damn inclusive]

since you're unclear this is what lament means:
la⋅ment   /ləˈmɛnt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [luh-ment] Show IPA Pronunciation

–verb (used with object) 1. to feel or express sorrow or regret for: to lament his absence.
2. to mourn for or over.

i love my brown and think its a nice kinda carmello chocolate. have i always felt that way? nope, but again i've GROWN to love it, i've been blessed to never go through acne, and when i tan my skin “looks lickable” there's no mourning or regretting over here. mentioning the going current trend that you can verify with minimal research is not the same as hating my color. get it together, but before you do take ur ass on this platta ;D

I do recall Ants comments, he did agree on some points but I didn't get the feeling of a “full on cosign” out of it…further more that's what three people ??? What's the population of Chi about 3 mil ??? Hardly enough data for a statement of fact…

Again, you talk a good game but your constant lamentations about your color tell a whole different story whether you mean them too or not…

I'll leave this as is tho' its beginning to detract from the spirit of the original post, Blogxilla.com could take on a whole new life off this one

niggas acted like ud'd catch the hiv[pronounced hiv not h-i-v] if u had a darker girlfriend….

duly note, i'm not trying to date someone insanely fancy. i want black, nice, and employed. taller than me would be a plus[i'm 5'7"], and fashion sense would be a plus, but not neessary.

u said i talk a good game, but you see me!? sounds like ur trying to call me out or something. if i was hiding something, i wouldn't have been honest about m mother, or my sexual exploits…again u got the wrong one baby uuu hhuuuuh! ;D this is is ass is still in place and ripe for the kissing! and biting if ya wanna!

my mother being a mixed creole and color stuck made me love my carmello chocolate more. no it wasn't always this way, as i dealt with insecurites that plague most girls, but its not something i'm dealing with now. my entire family is light and short; i'm dark and tall. i see this as God's shining some kinda light on me. everywhere i go i stand out and get attention. my father told me that i seemed to just be seperated from the pack at birth. i'm grateful for the distinction, and embrace it, i don't loathe my color, but more the mentality that plagues my black male peers. my darker complexion hampering my ability to date nice black men in chicago is a STATEMENT OF FACT, not my opinion. get that before you read any further. again for the 3rd time before i continue Head, its not a color crutch its a poven FACT cosigned by Ant. [someone i'd never met before that i PROMISE i didn't bribe prior to his cosignage] A few posts back, Ant shared your err in judgement and thought i was obsessing over my color. that was until he talked to two of his girls. one was dark and one was light, THEY SHARED with him thru candid convo EXACTLY WHAT I SHARE WITH U on this site! did you miss that discussion on here?! go back a few posts and check the records… his friend said “i can be talking to a guy and he's really feeling me and when ____ comes over its like i don't exist anymore to him. i know exactly what ol' girl is talking about” he told me that they were both attractive and had cool personalities etc. THE COLOR was really the only thing that seperated 'em in his eyes. UH! in yo FACE!

i know its hard to believe, but Chicago is more color stuck than many souther cities i've visited. when i go out of town i am harassed by black men. [true, most of this can be attributed to me being "new" but still]
the following will sound like insecure puffing of maself, but know that i'm pretty, so cute white people have paid for my face in the past, i got “good hur”[i hate that term but its a plus to most people] i gotta juicy ass, and 34D breasts that still sit up. a random poll of da homies re: my spirit/personality will return sentiments like “hani is hilarious. really generous. we were both broke and she got a sponsor to feed us then sent me home with some $, or she worked a double so i could go to my shortie's recital, or she's crazy as hell. she ain' afraid to say what we all be feelin, etc…God's shown me some amazing favor… not to mention i keep a fresh wardrobe and can cook my ass off and honey honey luv da kids…. i write and people read, and my personality draws people to me/incites intense levels of hate. these attributes make me love me more than the law should allow. it also makes men of different races go nuts. there's only a problem with me attracting black males around my age. older black men[usually married] are attracted to me also but i don't belive in cheating and can't condone their usage of me in such activities.

re: the men fall in love thing. most would assume i don't have successful relationships etc. that's not the case. people fall for me hard and quickly, while i do nothing more than go through the motions. i cook the meals, charm the family, break the backs, and am bored. don't get it twisted, i know that i'm worthy of love and do everything i do with intense love and passion. from dancing to writing, to serving my people, i put love first. i'm not satisfied with the fact that there's nothing i can do to change the fact that something i can't control makes me unworthy of romantic love. not having an option bothers me. i pride myself in breaking the rules/being free.

yes, i share these same FACTS in real life, should the discussion present itself. i'm not running around saying whoa is my brothas don't like me everyday! lol i've been on some of the best dates, i'd prefer to experiece these things with a brotha, but since i can't i'm grateful for the opportunity period..

yes i'm vocal about how much l love me some me or hate my stretchmarks. i am real. i coach young women on accepting their izms and some kinda's. i wouldn't even do this is i didn't truly love myself as bein phony is unacceptable in my book….i'm not perfect no, but i'm damn near close! ;D

Ok it's my turn to be an ass now…

You constantly reference your “color” as one of the reasons that you can't find love, could it be that its a bigger problem for you than it is for anyone else??? I'm not saying people aren't color struck because they certainly are, and it's everywhere – but GD, THE WHOLE EFFIN CITY of Chicago??? I'm not buyin it….

It's not your color that makes you unlovable there, it very well may be the fact that you believe your color makes you unlovable that makes you unlovable….

You said something on the other post about the way your mother treated you because you were darker, those are the kind of things that mold us as children, could it be that you're randomly throwing anyone who doesn't (appear to) accept you into the “color-struck” basket based on the treatment of your mother in your early life?

We project how we feel about ourselves even when we say nothing, so if you speak about the negative affects of your “color” in real life the way you do on this blog, it may be the answer to why your experiences are what they are

“[men have fallen in love with me believe it or not]” – Why is that a “believe it or not”? You say that like you really believe you're not worthy?

In one sentence you say “while i'm not completely satisfied” and then at the end you say “i have the love of the kids at the youth center and my family and that's enough….” Which is it?

You talk a good game Thoney but I see you!!!!

My challenge to you is to throw down your “color crutch” and open your mind to the possibility!

You know you want it…LOL…just admit it!

From now on every time I hear (read) you talkin about your color, I'm comin straight for you!

ok, you can have your ass back now, I'm done…