[BlogXilla] Dot Com

LOL cool contest ya'll... I always say "Everything happens for a reason", take this experience Xilla and learn from it. Don't give anyone that much control over you and your happiness: You're gonna be okay- Live it up, TOAST to the experience, laugh about it and move on.

Good One Ness!!! Damn You...LOL

I am one who resigned on the idea of love a long time ago and I've been ok with my decision for the most part, however, like I said in my comments to Xilla on that post, resigning on love, has as many, if not more, disadvantages as staying in the game, your heart for the most part is safe but you miss out on a whole lot more!

Reading his post that day made me realize I need to retract my resignation on love, not just for myself but for my daughter also, young women in our society are at such a disadvantage already when it comes to love, relationships, sexual health etc...the least we can do is show them what healthy relationships are all about.

That does however call for us to be smart, for ourselves mainly, don't go fallin in love with just anydamnbody, be smart, be choosy, see that person for who they really are, make sure they are worthy of your love...

Sometimes we're quick to say "but I love him/her" even tho he/she doesn't, by their actions, deserve your love

We say "I trust him/her" but truth is looking at the facts, he/she is not trustworthy so it's inappropriate to do so

Don't love and/or trust blindly but do be open to it...

Most of all learn and remember what LOVE really means. These are HIS words!

Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked.

It does not keep account of the injury.

It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Good Love To Us All!

U know I had to cheer up the man who everyone loves!! lol.

I'm soooo glad u have decided to take the love challenge!!! and retract ur resignation on the idea of love!!!!

I luv wht u said!!!

luck fove till i die! that being said, i'm proposing to you[ness] and offering my vagina to Xilla. i'a sponsor the drinks if y'all sponsor the kinks! lol j/p 'less u really gonna do it!

i've only experienced true love once at the hands of a friend that passed. i don't even know what romantic love is, and am not crazy about finding out. can't say that i'll retract my resignation, as i'm 99% sure i won't find love. i am open to it, sorta, but live in a city where its impossible for someone like me.

i LOVE what you wrote head miss and ness. seriously goodstuff! maybe someone will come along and change my mind, but for now i'ma stay this hustlin humper! ;T

I think the retraction is more about opening your mind and heart to the possibility, vowing to let it in and let it happen should the right one come along...or at least let that be the first step...

Not that you should be one of "those people" who are on the CONSTANT HUNT for love...UGH!

I don't believe we can find IT, I thinks ITS supposed to find us, all we need it to be aware enough to recognize it an accept it with open arms when it does find you...

Nicki Sunshine said it best about speaking negativity, and its so true, what we put out is what we get back

"I don't do relationships" was my mantra for years, I've since stricken that phrase from my vocabulary

Remember this day tho', it maybe coincidence buuuuuuuuut....I'm gonna shut up now lest I jinx it.... :-D

why do we have to love though!? like what's with the needing to be open to it? like ant doesn't want to have kids ever, that works for him, knowing that love isn't an option for me in chicago just is what it is. i am brown and that alone makes me unlovable here. respecting this fact, i pimp married[unknowingly] men and whiteboys. it works. while i'm not completely satisfied, the contrary,opening myself up to some random whore of a playa and losing my dougie/money is NOT worth it.

i've been dating for 12 years now and have yet to fall in love.[men have fallen in love with me believe it or not] i think i can safely say that its impossible here. i don't have the means to move to, yes, i'll remember on this day, that i accepted the reality of my lovelife for what it is, and similarly not flonked around all willy nilly with unrealistic lovegoals or fantasies. what further solidifies this fact, is the immense amt of loveable/nice/much less abrasive/ women around me that aren't finding romantic love in their lives. i have the love of the kids at the youth center and my family and that's enough....

Why do we have to have love? We don't HAVE to but it's built into our nature, we all have free will, if we decide we don't want it thats fine, no one can force it, but we can't act like the longing for it is not there...trust me I'm not tryna take over cupids job, I had my reasons for stepping away from it which I don't regret but being away from it wasn't all happiness and sunshine either

Ok it's my turn to be an ass now...

You constantly reference your "color" as one of the reasons that you can't find love, could it be that its a bigger problem for you than it is for anyone else??? I'm not saying people aren't color struck because they certainly are, and it's everywhere - but GD, THE WHOLE EFFIN CITY of Chicago??? I'm not buyin it....

It's not your color that makes you unlovable there, it very well may be the fact that you believe your color makes you unlovable that makes you unlovable....

You said something on the other post about the way your mother treated you because you were darker, those are the kind of things that mold us as children, could it be that you're randomly throwing anyone who doesn't (appear to) accept you into the "color-struck" basket based on the treatment of your mother in your early life?

We project how we feel about ourselves even when we say nothing, so if you speak about the negative affects of your "color" in real life the way you do on this blog, it may be the answer to why your experiences are what they are

"[men have fallen in love with me believe it or not]" - Why is that a "believe it or not"? You say that like you really believe you're not worthy?

In one sentence you say "while i'm not completely satisfied" and then at the end you say "i have the love of the kids at the youth center and my family and that's enough...." Which is it?

You talk a good game Thoney but I see you!!!!

My challenge to you is to throw down your "color crutch" and open your mind to the possibility!

You know you want it...LOL...just admit it!

From now on every time I hear (read) you talkin about your color, I'm comin straight for you!

ok, you can have your ass back now, I'm done... :-D

u ain' gotta buy shit but trust it'll be sold. that was an interesting post lol while i understand what makes you think the way you do, i'm going to need you to be a bit more understanding and open in your thinking. your "thoughts" don't apply to me directly but the advice is sound and needed for some, so hi5 on a great post, its just aimed at the wrong person.

my mother being a mixed creole and color stuck made me love my carmello chocolate more. no it wasn't always this way, as i dealt with insecurites that plague most girls, but its not something i'm dealing with now. my entire family is light and short; i'm dark and tall. i see this as God's shining some kinda light on me. everywhere i go i stand out and get attention. my father told me that i seemed to just be seperated from the pack at birth. i'm grateful for the distinction, and embrace it, i don't loathe my color, but more the mentality that plagues my black male peers. my darker complexion hampering my ability to date nice black men in chicago is a STATEMENT OF FACT, not my opinion. get that before you read any further. again for the 3rd time before i continue Head, its not a color crutch its a poven FACT cosigned by Ant. [someone i'd never met before that i PROMISE i didn't bribe prior to his cosignage] A few posts back, Ant shared your err in judgement and thought i was obsessing over my color. that was until he talked to two of his girls. one was dark and one was light, THEY SHARED with him thru candid convo EXACTLY WHAT I SHARE WITH U on this site! did you miss that discussion on here?! go back a few posts and check the records... his friend said "i can be talking to a guy and he's really feeling me and when ____ comes over its like i don't exist anymore to him. i know exactly what ol' girl is talking about" he told me that they were both attractive and had cool personalities etc. THE COLOR was really the only thing that seperated 'em in his eyes. UH! in yo FACE!

i know its hard to believe, but Chicago is more color stuck than many souther cities i've visited. when i go out of town i am harassed by black men. [true, most of this can be attributed to me being "new" but still]
the following will sound like insecure puffing of maself, but know that i'm pretty, so cute white people have paid for my face in the past, i got "good hur"[i hate that term but its a plus to most people] i gotta juicy ass, and 34D breasts that still sit up. a random poll of da homies re: my spirit/personality will return sentiments like "hani is hilarious. really generous. we were both broke and she got a sponsor to feed us then sent me home with some $, or she worked a double so i could go to my shortie's recital, or she's crazy as hell. she ain' afraid to say what we all be feelin, etc...God's shown me some amazing favor... not to mention i keep a fresh wardrobe and can cook my ass off and honey honey luv da kids.... i write and people read, and my personality draws people to me/incites intense levels of hate. these attributes make me love me more than the law should allow. it also makes men of different races go nuts. there's only a problem with me attracting black males around my age. older black men[usually married] are attracted to me also but i don't belive in cheating and can't condone their usage of me in such activities.

re: the men fall in love thing. most would assume i don't have successful relationships etc. that's not the case. people fall for me hard and quickly, while i do nothing more than go through the motions. i cook the meals, charm the family, break the backs, and am bored. don't get it twisted, i know that i'm worthy of love and do everything i do with intense love and passion. from dancing to writing, to serving my people, i put love first. i'm not satisfied with the fact that there's nothing i can do to change the fact that something i can't control makes me unworthy of romantic love. not having an option bothers me. i pride myself in breaking the rules/being free.

yes, i share these same FACTS in real life, should the discussion present itself. i'm not running around saying whoa is my brothas don't like me everyday! lol i've been on some of the best dates, i'd prefer to experiece these things with a brotha, but since i can't i'm grateful for the opportunity period..

yes i'm vocal about how much l love me some me or hate my stretchmarks. i am real. i coach young women on accepting their izms and some kinda's. i wouldn't even do this is i didn't truly love myself as bein phony is unacceptable in my book....i'm not perfect no, but i'm damn near close! ;D

Wow didnt mean to strike a nerve

I do recall Ants comments, he did agree on some points but I didn't get the feeling of a "full on cosign" out of it...further more that's what three people ??? What's the population of Chi about 3 mil ??? Hardly enough data for a statement of fact...

Again, you talk a good game but your constant lamentations about your color tell a whole different story whether you mean them too or not...

I'll leave this as is tho' its beginning to detract from the spirit of the original post, Blogxilla.com could take on a whole new life off this one

this is a place for discussion, moving right along.....are you retarded!? a constant lamentation would be "ooooooooh i hate being brown or my life is gonna end because i'm darker waaa waaa" i say THE FUGGIN TRUF as it is here. how are you confusing the 2?! since the computation of simple english isn't proving to be one of your strong points, i'll ask you AGAIN, what game am i spitting!?
i posed a ? to random people and u see the results i didn't make them up! i'm not judging your ignorance, but i challenge you to do some research. prove me wrong!

go on facebook, or myspace, or ask random people and see if you don't hear what i've told you and what ant CO SIGNED. you're clouding facts with you errant judgment and the two are not the same chile! stop trying to discredit me. Ant said his friend said EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. i went to dinner with him and he shared his suprise with me and then second'd that surpise on this blog....any common idiot would say that he CO SIGNED or AGREED with me, so what's ur major malfunction doll?

i never claimed to represent all of chicago, but i am putting a voice behing a trend, there are acceptions to every rule and i'm not denying that, however where I AM rolling in the circles I ROLL IN brown-black women are NOT the jam. [note i debo my way around from fancy political functions to fried chicken shacks in the asscrack of the city. thus making my view pretty damn inclusive]

since you're unclear this is what lament means:
la⋅ment   /ləˈmɛnt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [luh-ment] Show IPA Pronunciation

–verb (used with object) 1. to feel or express sorrow or regret for: to lament his absence.
2. to mourn for or over.

i love my brown and think its a nice kinda carmello chocolate. have i always felt that way? nope, but again i've GROWN to love it, i've been blessed to never go through acne, and when i tan my skin "looks lickable" there's no mourning or regretting over here. mentioning the going current trend that you can verify with minimal research is not the same as hating my color. get it together, but before you do take ur ass on this platta ;D

Exactly, a place for discussion, who knew you were so easily riled, get at me when you're ready to get out of the sandbox and discuss maturely...

lol i don't take you seriously because your ignorant. again i'm discussing but you haven't an answer right!? if anything your passing time at the gig, know your role and play it well doll. nothing more or less. again i ask you, what are you seeing through!?! i ask that in the most grownuppy voice i can muster through my giggles.

p.s. weren't u the one serving up asses a moment ago. don't be madd now. just kis it! i likes it that way.

You don't take me seriously? Really, so why the desperation to know my thoughts?

I'm ignorant right, so why are you still going on and on, why talk to the ignorant?

i don't think you're ingorant in general simplass, just re: this specific instance. you inability to answer the question further cements my thinking lol take care lova!

you definitely struck a nerve since you screaming this open mind bs, but you mind is so closed to what women in chicago are going through.

re: ant's comments let me calrify, HE personally enjoys sistas of every color, and admitted to being ignorant to the plight of darker women/assumed i was exaggerating[like u] until his own friend said she'd been experiencing what i mentioned her entire life.

i understand the power of the thought and the tongue, and where you were trying to go as i routinely practice speaking my blessings into existence. i have done some amazing things in only 25 years and i'm sooooo thankful and humbled! i am also nobody's fool. i'm not going to waste precious energy on something that isn't w/in my control. [dating a black guy around my age] i

and i know i don't want it. i don't see the pt. love=giving in and playing yourself inevitably. why not just be supa cool and have great sex? what's with the extra bs? i can die happy knowing that i touched a child's life/my family digs me. i don't need to be in love with someone, and to ask me to choose between the two is retarded! open my mind to what possibility!? me falling in love with someone i'm attracted to IS IMPOSSIBLE in chicago. IT'S absolutely not going to happen so long as i'm this color. i like dark skinned kinda chubby black men. they'd prefer to have a light skinned/other raced woman play them bogus before they try a brown-dark sista. just the thought of being seen in public with a light girl is enough. my friend said "ol' girl dumb as hell and piss me off, but she's cute." HANI "IS SHE LIGHT 'MAINE?" "yea she's like Khi's[my sister who looks like lisa bonet] color. they could be kinlol but that ain' the pt. u stay trying to corna somebody!" my guy is dark skinned and handsome has a good job etc, refuses to date brown or dark women. never has and never will.... i understand having a preference, but this wouldn't fall into that category per se. i think twitter is stoopid, so here's what people txted/fcbk'd be when i asked why don't guys in chicago like darker women:
"dark girls are cool, but i ain' gone like wife one hani."
"it's not a good look. i gotta have cute kids"
"if i dated a dark skinned girl i'a be settling. it takes effort to snag a red bone joe"
"u sposed to get on. get a redbone then everything is right. i like dark skinned girls but its not like how i want my family to me"

niggas acted like ud'd catch the hiv[pronounced hiv not h-i-v] if u had a darker girlfriend....

duly note, i'm not trying to date someone insanely fancy. i want black, nice, and employed. taller than me would be a plus[i'm 5'7"], and fashion sense would be a plus, but not neessary.

u said i talk a good game, but you see me!? sounds like ur trying to call me out or something. if i was hiding something, i wouldn't have been honest about m mother, or my sexual exploits...again u got the wrong one baby uuu hhuuuuh! ;D this is is ass is still in place and ripe for the kissing! and biting if ya wanna!

Roses are red, violets are blue...don't give up on love b/c the world needs Manxilla and You!
lol


Did I win?..........lmao

UMDROFLMAOOL!!!

@ CandyRain: You do realize there won't be any sex on this 3-some date lol...lmao!

But tht was kinda cute....(ole skool) but cute!...lol

Many times in my life I gave up on love. Either due to the fact I was hurt or because I have hurt someone else. Love is a beautiful experience that everyone wishes to feel, but we all get so caught up in the feelings at the beginning we fail to think of everything else associated with it.
For a while I have re-evaluated my current love situation and I decided that it is impossible to give up on something that is inevitable. Love makes you feel giddy all over, your stomach gets that sick feeling everytime you see the person. When you kiss it send shivers all over your body. Love is remarkable!
Giving up on love is like giving up on life. Your dead without it.

I love you Xilla, don't give up.

Awwwww VI tht's sooooooo sweeet!!!! Love will do tht to u!!! lol

An Ode to LOVE.....HIP HOP/ R&B STYLE

"AWWWW SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!!!!!!" is great, but
"LOVE AND TENDERNESS" takes the cake
The "TIP DRILL" may get U hard, but that
"POISON" will leave u scarred (wit crabs or something, i know it don't rhyme but work with me)
Many "SINGLE LADIES" have dealt with a broken heart
But still find love after "THINGS FALL APART" (oh wait, that was an album title not a song right? well whatever, u get what I mean)
So if U just wanna "LOVE EM AND LEAVE EM" and "GET MONEY"
Remember that being "DANGEROUSLY IN LOVE" is "WHERE YOU WANNA BE"...honey lol

[[applause]] ding ding ding! we have a winna!

Thanks boo I try!! lol PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!! lol (I just wanna run my mouth and laugh over some dinner w/ ya'll......and maybe some fellatio lol, j/k)....not really.........yeah i am lol

sooo when does this contest end?

I'm not sure maybe monday some time next week

I agree! I've been in the same situation MANY times, but u will bounce back. There is so much power in the tongue and if you speak negatively, that is exactly what you will get.

The One for you will come and when she does, u will be good and ready for it. I know I will. ;)

aww xilla! love is a wonderful thing.. and i want to have a 3some with you both god damn lol please fall back in love with love

just an addition:..umm can i least have sex with xilla lol.. ill help you get that love back!

JOKING.. but ;) would be fun

lol....hahahah he did say "We will get dinner and Drinks and let the night takes us where it does" so if the two of u end up bumpin uglies then I'll video tape it lol....(j.k)..lol

You're not going to tape. Anything. LOL

oh yeah I 4got! we don't need proof, just a new C.S story lol
it's going 2 b an interesting night I tell u tht! lol

okay umm ya def need to let me get up on this 3some.. food and drinks is my invitation okayyy

Yea just dint get too drunk because we will leave you on your door like they did froove in house psrty LOL

uh uh lol that is just foul! lol -- am i making you happy xilla! please love love again okay its a good thing lol

lol i will

umm your laughing do i win?! lol

Drinks & Food & Good Times is the best!!!! Those r my fave things!!!

i like the idea of the contest but it can go one of two ways...
i just hope that the person that win isn't crazy or just plain annoying!
good luck!

u have 2 b a lil bit of crzy to be on this site lol.....

I doubt anyone on here is annoyin...b/c u can pick up on personalities by ppls comments ;)

besides u can't go wrong w/ food and drinks! :)

PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE WHEN U FIND TRUE LOVE IT CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING. ALL ROUGH TIMES DON'T LAST LONG JUST BE CAREFUL WHO U GIVE UR HEART TOO. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WIN I JUST WANT U TO TRY UR BEST TO BE HAPPY. SO DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE. I WON'T GIVE UP ON U. JUST GIVE IT TIME LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AND THE RIGHT ONE WILL SEE IT. IT'S PROBABLY CLOSER THAN U THINK TAKE A LOOK AROUND AT THE ONES CLOSEST TO U AND THE ONE MIGHT BE RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. U JUST PROBABLY HAVEN'T TAKEN THE TIME TO SEE IT. BUT KEEP THE FAITH I DO THE RIGHT PERSON FOR U IS OUT THERE SOMETIMES WHE LOOK SO HARD U CAN'T SEE WHATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF U.