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Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil
Posted in Relationships on 25. Nov, 2008
Most of the time it happens during dinner, while the game is on, or worst right when you get into bed with your lover. They’ll look you in your eyes with the glance you’ve grown to dread. You know that serious look that reeks of “I’m not going to like what’s about to be said.” I’ve created a list of things you don’t want to hear from the person you’re with.
We Need To Talk – Needing to talk can never be a good thing, it only means that your lover is about to tell you something terrible, because you “talk” all the time. Needing to talk usually involves you doing something wrong or them coming to some sort of conclusion that will fundamentally change your relationship.
Your Friend Is Cute – Ladies, if your man says this to you it probably means you should never leave him alone with her. Never!!!
He’s Just A Friend/Ex – Now there is nothing wrong with chatting with an ex, but let’s be real. Isn’t a friend just another name for a backup plan in case your boo messes up? It’s that friend whose shoulder will be the perfect limb to lean on in case of a heartbreak, f*ck up, or whenever a self-esteem boost is required.
I Think I’m Getting Sick – Taking care of a sick lover is an essential part of all relationships. Making soup, placing a blanket over your mate, or spooning medicine into their mouth is all a requirement of a serious relationship. However, this also means that you’ll be sick within a week and forced to nurse your self back to health.
Who Is That? – Why do people always ask this at the wrong possible time. I have a nosey friend who always ask me this question. I never answer it, because 1. I refuse to have to answer that question again from the person I’m with, inquiring who is questioning me. 2. I’m a grown arsh man, what I look like having to answer to someone I’m not sleeping with. SMCH!
I’ve Been Thinking – Oh boy!! Whenever I hear this I immediately turn into Pinky from the cartoon Pinky & The Brain and reply with, I think so Brain, but I didn’t think your legs could bend over your head.
The Condom Popped – Not only does she not want to hear it, he also doesn’t want to say it. I’m sure this has happened to most of us and it might be the most dreaded thing to hear if it wasn’t for…
I’m Late – The above statement is usually followed by this one. It’s a recession and no one wants to have a baby right now. Well maybe a few people but having a baby is a life changing event and 2 small words can dramatically change your life.
Is That You? – Ladies, if a man says that to you, it probably means you’re not as fresh as a summer’s eve. Fix it.
I haven't been completly honest with you…
That she is just a friend/ ex thing. I dont handle it well. But Ive learned if you do to him what he is doing, he will understand.
Btu I kinda disagree about the “Your friend is cute..” Thats not when you shouldnt leave them alone. If you're a man and you have a lady and your homie HATES your girl.. I mean just DESPISES her.. and he lets it be known.
Id say 75% percent of the time… Your homie is attracted to her and wants her on the low.
I know this from experience.
LMAO!!! Is that you??! Gross.
Is that you?? lmao………never heard that one!!
Oh and also…….you remeber the money I gave you for…………..
that ususally is a sign of “I'mma need to hold……….”
lol
you know what they say if it taste like chicken keep licking if it smells like trout get out! LMAO
If he says “baby I think we need space”
SPACE MY ASS!
Is that you?
I keep thinking of J.Hudson song “Spotlight” Is that you?is that you?Is that you? when I thought of this LOL.
Anyways do guys ever a tell a girl that forreal? That is straight up embarassing, that is unacceptable. i have never heard that one (because I never have that issue), but I bet who ever said that still Smash!
Who is that is a good one.
I am a user of who is that? I want to know because if we are having relations I have the right to know! Let someone call my phone and he will be asking me the same question, it goes both ways!
And do not let who ever call, do it after booty call hours! I really have the right to know then.
I hate the “Is There Something You Wanna Tell Me” question.
Dude, wht do u want me to say? R u trying to make me feel like u “know” something? lol.
I usually answer that question w/ a silly ass answer like “yeah, there's something I wanna tell u…when u walk ur knees tend to not bend” lol.
Tht usually deflects any further questions pertaining to the subject he was trying to run with lol.
hahaha you're funny did you know that your knees don't bend when you walk? I just thought you should know that! lol
I have a habit of remaining friends with the majority of my ex's. That is just the person I am. Not saying that anything goes on or will go on. He is my ex for a reason. Men hate that I am still cool with my ex's, but hey when you become my ex you will know what I am talking about.
Who's that? or Where you going?
I hate hate hate hate that questions!!! I am a grown woman with my own grown woman problems, if its someone or something I want you to know then Homie I'll tell you on my own. I can't stand being questioned by someone I am having relations with or not.
Yeah where are you going? DAMN i forgot that one i hate that one right there… why you questioning me? I'm going out! lol Where out of the house! lol
but what if it becomes a problem with your man would you ditch the ex or ditch your man?
Lol, I would never choose because I was on the other end of that shit where an ex who I grew up with started dating this chick we went to high school with When they were about to get married she told his punk ass that he can't be friends with me anymore. That tripped me out because like I said we grew up together. We were high school sweethearts. Anyway, his dumb ass stopped talking to me and now after 4 months of marriage his wife is cheating on him with my ex cutt buddy. I found that very funny.
So if I had to choose I wouldn't ,if my boo can't deal with it then he can walk. My ex will be no treat to our relationship, but if he wanna be a baby about it. Walk!!!!!
as a female, I never want to hear about another woman being attractive from the guy I am seeing…so I would never say something like that to him!
That's RUDE (said in my best “full house twins” voice)
I haven't been completly honest with you…I'm bi!
WHEW!!! That was a close one!!!
stephanie
Is That You?
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i would NEVER have sex with someone if I knew my coochie was smelling like a fish market!!….If that was to ever happen though, I would just DIE!! especially if he's wrinkling his nose and givin me tha side eye at tha same time
neva wanna hear him say ANYTHING burns, itches, or has a bump…vomit.
NESS! u are too funny! chiiiiiiile! i hate that question! and here's a similiar ? that give me the fuflux. its a simplass one worded conundrum of crazy of a question that ALWAYS leads to that bullshit!
~WHY?~
why what? why who? its sooo interpretable and i oftentimes get all nervous like why i hump yo boss? so u could get that raise and buy me those manono's. why didn't i call back? cuz i was doing the above mentioned.why am i so dope like coke? cuz being whack like crack wasn't an option son! i dated a man that would why me to death like he was workin on the discovery portion of a case. i had to cut him loose as i became a wine-ho in anticipation of the interrogationa[sp?]
lmbphao [laughin my black president havin ass off] WOW!
What is this?[followed by waving of something or someone]
that mess would trip me out! what is what nucca? what is that bump that cut my bottom lip on ur dingaling, what is thismystery paper on ur desk? what is that number to the _________? no mater what's on the end of it u know it can't be good. ;P
Oh!! I hate that “WHY” crap!! Like r u serious…I thought 5 yr olds only did tht crap lol.
I use the old school answer to their “why” questions. 'why ask why?' now wht nucca lol….say sumthin! lol
i think that if you have problems early in the game that u are not ready for.. then maybe you shudnt be doing those things .. lol