3 Ways To Handle Drunk People
It’s happened to all of us before, maybe just one time, or maybe every time we go to the club, the drunk person. Breath smelling like hot garbage freshly dropped from the as* tunnel of hybrid version Macy Gray and T-Pain. Loud jumbled non-sense spewing from their trap and no clue of what the word no means. They always want to do something that starts with the letter F, from Fight, F*ck or Fly. But how does one deal with the drunk person? Here are a few tips to keep you entertained instead of annoyed.
1. Make Stuff Up – One thing I like to do when I encounter a drunk girl is talk real slow and say the same thing over and over again, but make sure that the same thing you keep saying is a totally unrealistically LIE. I once told this drunk girl with yellow teeth that I was The Vice President of The Lifestyle Condom Company in New Jersey and I was here on business. Told her I wrote 7 best selling books for the New York Times on how to roll and dispose a condom properly. She ate it up big time, like a fat kid at a Buffet. She wanted to give me her number bad so I gave her a random card in my wallet told her to write her number on the back, and then handed her the same card as my card.
2. Ask Them Stuff – Not even an episode of Dave Chappelle is as funny as interviewing a drunk person but here is the key, you have to ask them the most outlandish questions on the face of the earth like “If you were a Chicken with Super Powers what would you use for transportation since chickens don’t fly”
3. Sleep With Them - The look on their face when they wake up with a hangover, and no idea of who you are… Priceless. No I’m just joking, never sleep with a drunk person b/c you might end up in a semi 2 girls 1 cup situation if you know what I mean. Nothing is worst than getting thrown up on.
How Do you Handle The Drunk Person?
