i woke up to the news of my landlord losing my apt building and where we could relocate. i fucked myself in frustration, and proceeded to move through the motions of prepping myself for another day of performing at the funnyfarm. today isn't a day for being confined. its going to a perfect 70degrees i need a sundress thigh highs and sexy strappys. nothing else. the tickles of my bare fat cat against my thigh highs will ease a lot of this stress.

i arrive to work to find out we're down an assistant and now i must cover phones AND research. GREAT! early lunch it is! the Taste just started and I decided at 10am someone would be “tasting” me this afternoon! I walk ever so carefully clocking tricks the entire gait. lunch, rent, car, nails, each extended gaze served a purpose. i flipped cards quicker than my cousin flips bricks. the recession brings out the beast in me. what can i say?! ;P

i arrive to the Taste and find solice in the quit hum of a small lunchtime crowd. i notice a lightbright staring me down. he's newer than my manolos. HOW CUTE. only a baby would wear their jacket out of the office on a day like this. he's trying too hard! mmm hard….PERFECT! i cop a frozen chocolate dipped banana and decide that he'll do. i have 40mins to go, and accordingly he went. I borrow a red chalk write”meet me near the portojohn truck….[i'm nasty, they were just delivering then fret not. we were first.]

i walk over and say “man its really hot isn't? i don't have much time, but i have something for , you looks like you need to relax lightbrite. no one's THAT buttoned up on lunch honey!” i give him the bag and let it go….buy a hard lemonade and no sooner than i light my clove, i feel someone grab my shoulder. we said nothing. just moved…..

now our space was tight and moist just how it should be …he bites the tie of my wrap dress and it falls open with ease….”for real? u just out here like that huh?” i reply “shut up, and fuck' i had every intention of taking out my frustration on his young ass. he pulls out the banana and askd if he could use it, i reply i said shut up and fuck! [chocolate banas are ROCK HARD and perfect for pleasure] i place one leg up on the sink, the other against the door and he stares in amazement…mmmm as he moves it in and kissing and licking while i melt away the chocolate he licks up every drop not to be outdone i jump down start biting the banana into slices and begin return the favor. “ooooooooooh SHIT! wait the its like little little massages on my dick. oh my GAWD! the FUCK!?! i'ma come hold on. WAIT wa waaaa holon man” with each sound i got more and more into it….the slimyness of the melted banana made things that much more slippery! FUN!

i slip the condom out of my purse and put it on with my mouth. and ride him backwards…”who the fuck are you! marry me…i needed this… damn man” i placed hs hands on my d's and showed him where to tickle me…..” we both came HARD!

I hopped up, cleaned both of us paying special attention to his____.[ babywipes and water bottles are a staple for freaks. u never know lol] “so glad I wore my hair curly today. WHEW! ” i thought to myself. i powdered my face, slappedo n some lipgloss and was off to the funnyfarm…[work]

i saw him once after at a charity benefit at the Field Museum. he turned bright red when i entered the room. I couldn't help but chuckle. He wasn't worth the extended gaze. i was on the prowl….

She was sucking on my balls like gumdrops and has yet to kiss my 12 inch monster. It was after a concert and I usually don't fuck with groupies but she was like Lisa Raye in “The Player's Club”. She was HOT! She has a ass so big like the sun. I mean she has on a thong that I could see her pussy lips from the front. She was in Apple Bottom jeans but she was no Apple. She was like a grapefruit and wanted me to know. She was like Trina in the face and talked shit like Khia. She was no hoe but was a “Go Girl” and I had to know why. She was everything I dreamed about. Even from the porno's I watched, hands down, she was the truth. Damn, I knew what it was when she asked me inside my hotel to sign her cousin's basketball. But I was described as a younger Will Smith but I had something I know Will does not. I have a mandingo dick. I have a 9 inch soft, 10 semi soft and 12 rock hard. Women only wanted to fuck because anything else would hurt. I had one white girl who loved to lick ass. I should have kept her. Women only want to fuck and eat. Fuck & sleep. Fuck & spend money. But this women only wanted more. She was a freak like Adina Howard. She said she did everything and anything so I wanted to see if she was game.

“Bitch, I said suck my dick!”

Part 2 coming soon…..I'm Angel and the name of this encounter is “Love & Basketball”

OK. I was in New London, Ct. Me and my homeboy decided to go to Providence, RI one night because they had a club called The Complex. Needless to say—women galore. Anyway, we got there and decided to parkin lot pimp ( truth be told we couldn't get in because I had on shorts and that was against the dress code). Anyways we wind up meeting these 3 women. We conversated. One said she had a cabin down the way. Now my gut's tellin me ” Hell Naw.” These broads ain't gonna have me tied up with my toes cut off on some Hostel shit.
But men, we think about the ass first and the girls looked good. Especially the one who owned the Cabin. Plus she mentioned that she was Bi. So yeah, we went, with the quickness. We get there and things are cool. My homeboy's trying get with one of the girls. I'm trying to get with the one that owned the house. Hell, she has a car and a house. might as well go for the one that's independent. Well, It didn't work out. She did the “I'm tired, I got to work tommorrow” routine. Oh well, I'll work on the other one. Mind you, none of the females were ugly…it's really just personal preference. So I wind up talking with the other girl. She was cute yet nerdy. Free-issue glasses. Tomboyish clothing. and kind of shy. She told me that she just got out of a relationship a month ago. Her man dismissed her and kicked her out. Now she living the the girl my homeboy trying to get with. GREAT. A shy. nerdy girl with no car or no house. I kind of lost interest after that. So the four of us talked for a while then we went to sleep. My homeboy and his comapnion, The shy, nerdy girl and the floor, and me and the Laz-e-boy.

Woke up a couple of hours later. Ask my homeboy if he pounded…he said no, but he thinks that he can.
So we leave the cabin, the four of us. The one who owned the cabin kicked us out because she had to go to work. In the midst of driving around we wind up at a lake surronded by a forest in the middle of nowhere. My homeboy wanted the car to himself so he could work on his friend while me and The nerd did our own thing. Problem is we didn't have a thing. We didn't click and when we talked it was small talk.

So I'm talking with the nerdy girl and eventually the conversation picks up because I dared her to swim in the lake. She was down with it. She got in the lake, swam around for a bit, and then came out……and right there is when Lust showed up. I swear it was like that shit you see on baywatch. Dripping wet, Wet t shirt. Again I say, Lust showed up. So you know men, we're some sneaky bastards when we want that honey. I said “Hey Let's walk through the woods and look at some wildlife,” Translation: Let's go somewhere where we're alone cause I wanna Beat-n-skeet.

Shiiit…We went in the woods, Took her clothes off and set them on a rock. Sat her nekkid ass on them clothes and fucked like Neanderthals. Some of the best pussy I've ever had.

What's crazy though is that, after she gave me that sweet honey. We go back to check on our friends. My homeboy is mad because she finally told him that she was on her period. Yeah, she dragged him on that BS. (FUN FACT: They get married 2 months later.)

What's more crazy is that the whole time they were in the car, They had the lights on. SO we're ready to go but the battery is dead. So we waited 2 1/2 extra hours till somebody came that had jumper cables so we could start the car.

Bullshit………But the sex made it worth it.

She was 5'9″, two inches taller than me. Thick and chocolate with her own hair down her back. She worked part time as a exotic dancer in LA. I asked how she was feeling, she told me she was cool. I could tell she was nervous though so I gave her a hug and squeezed her booty before kissing her mouth. I turned on the shower and we undressed each other. We kissed and played while we showered. I got out before she did and walked into the bedroom. He was laying across his bed smiling at me. He dried my body and we got into the bed. We talked until she walked into the room. She got into the bed on my left as he was to my right. We talked as he massaged both of our backs at the same time. I got up and put on some music; D'angelo played. We then started to massaged his back and legs before turning him over. I started immediately deep-throating his big beautiful dick, she sat on his face and he fucked her with his long ass tongue. Her and I switched and she took his dick while I rode his face. I came from his lips sucking on my swollen clit and then licked my juices from his face. He kissed me deep and told me what he wanted to do to me. I laid her down and pulled her to the edge of the bed. I kneeled down and started to lick and suck on her wet pussy. He got behind me and thrusts his big dick into my pussy aggressively. He was beating my pussy up while he pushed and pulled me by my hair deeper into her pussy. She came almost instantly and tried to move away from me but I grabbed her legs and pulled her back into me as I wasn't anywhere near done with her. As she was cumming on my face I was cumming all on his big dick. I wanted to see him fuck her so I moved to sit on her face as he took her missionary style, beating her shit as he had done to me. I got off of her face and told him to lay down, I climbed on his dick and rode him like a woman on a mission as they kissed. We switched again and I sat on his face while she rode his dick, facing each other we kissed as we both rode him. I told her to turn around so we could see her sexy booty as she worked his dick. He told us he was about to cum so she got off his dick and took it in her mouth. We began taking turns sucking him off. When it was my turn I used both hands to jerk him off as I sucked him. His dick got so hard and his body tensed. I felt his warm cum shoot into the back of my throat and swallowed. So tasty.

That was five years ago. My first threesome. It was perfect. Like porn with much better music! The D'Angelo cd was on repeat and ran thru twice. To this day we only remember hearing “Shit, Damn, Motherfucker”.