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A Woman’s Guide To Taking A Crap At Work
Posted in Life on 30. Sep, 2008
My home girl the beautiful Big Tweezie wrote a blog I wanted to share with all of you so enjoy.
this afternoon i walked into the bathroom and EWWWW… i got the hell outta there fast. that horrible experience led me to think of the proper rules and etiquette for taking a crap at work… for women.
the woman’s guide to taking a crap at work:
1) only women who are old, sick or pregnant are allowed to take a crap at work. everyone else must hold it until they get home.
2) craps may be taken any time before 9am, between 10am-11am, again between 2pm-4pm, and again after 6pm. women always have to go to the bathroom when they get to work, before and/or after lunch, and before they leave work, therefore the times listed above are when the bathroom is the least trafficked.
3) time in the stall must total less than 1 minute and 30 seconds.
4) under no circumstances can sounds be made. the crapper is obligated to cough or blow her nose to disguise any mistaken sounds.
5) courtesy flush, bitch!
6) if someone enters the bathroom while the crapper is “en flagrante”, under NO circumstance are the crapper allowed to exit the stall until that person leaves, even if the crapper is finished. the crapper must not be ID’d. anyone who is found doing 2 in a work bathroom will instantly be talked about, even if the crapper is old, sick or pregnant.
7) WASH YOUR HANDS
A good understanding of proper etiquette and social behavior are keys to maintaining a healthy and happy working relationship with your co-workers. you don’t want to be known at work by the other women as “the nasty one”, bc women are evil evil creatures and will make you suffer for it. do not get caught at work disobeying these rules. it could cost you… your job!!!
I say that if you haven't taken a “poot” before you left the house…you are definitely up that creek without a paddle….
#8 a bottle of air freshner is expected and appreciated….THNAK YOU!!
The is truthfully halrious because me and my mom work in the same building and before I started working she sat me down and explained this to me. I really didn't think guys knew about this. LMAO
not just air freshner lysol spray
lmao
forgot to mention to skip stalls if possible. There is no need to crap next to an occupied stall (and if you're first, don't crap in the middle stalls).
For some reason.. my ass won't adapt to shyt in a public toilet…. Ive never had the desire to shyt anywhere but a private joint… like even on vacation.. Im like.. have I shat in these 5 days?? lol.. My son is the same way.. *shrugs*
ALSO, if you have to take a number 2 and you go into the bathroom and realize that some one ELSE is taking a number 2 (You know, they get all quiet waiting for you to leave…the smell *BARF*) Under NO circumstances are you to commence with your sh*t!!!!! NO, NO, NO!!! Respect the RULES! First come first serve. You hold you ass cheeks tight, leave the bathroom and let that person enjoy their dump!!
AND, no conversations in the bathroom…please shut the f*ck up!
This is hilarious! I work at AT&T and let me tell u something…these women HAVE NO SHAME! my building is predominantly older women…55+ yrs older..and I bs u not…the women WALK DOWN THE HALL WITH AIR FRESHENER going to the bathroom! lol
we have one woman who has some sort of illness…her crap smells so bad no one is able to stay in the bathroom. I have nicknamed her 'boo-boo kitty'
that's funny and i agree!
6) if someone enters the bathroom while the crapper is “en flagrante”, under NO circumstance are the crapper allowed to exit the stall until that person leaves, even if the crapper is finished. the crapper must not be ID’d. anyone who is found doing 2 in a work bathroom will instantly be talked about, even if the crapper is old, sick or pregnant.
lmfaoooo..i always do it..i feel though when I'm waiting for them to leave, they take even longer washin their hands, drying it like 3 times..all i wanna do is wipe my ass and get out of their unnoticed…tha most embarrassing thing though is when u pee it it accidentally turns into a queefing sound lol