Comments on: From The Vault of BlogXilla – The Independent Woman http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/ The Premiere Urban Relationship Blog Online Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:32:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.1 hourly 1 By: EbonyLolita http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14194 EbonyLolita Sat, 13 Sep 2008 08:29:59 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14194 Listen, I didn't bust my ass paying attention in school, graduating 4yrs flat, hustle to get a job in my career to hide my accomplishments. I don't brag about my ish, but I ain't gonna hide it. Black men should take pride in their woman being accomplished. They should use that as a means of advancing themselves. What a lot of Black women need to do is stop taking a back seat to male insecurities. I uplifted my man and emotionally supported him when he felt like he was in the gutter employment wise, all while I climbed up the ladder. Now, I didn't see him and brag and boast. But what this nikka turn around and do????? Cheated on me when I was the only Educated/DownAss Woman who was with him when he had NOTHING!!!!!!! Mental note, neva again!!!!! If you ain't got, and ain't gone get I WILL NOT BE BOTHERED!!!!!<br>F. the back seat I'm behind the wheel. Listen, I didn't bust my ass paying attention in school, graduating 4yrs flat, hustle to get a job in my career to hide my accomplishments. I don't brag about my ish, but I ain't gonna hide it. Black men should take pride in their woman being accomplished. They should use that as a means of advancing themselves. What a lot of Black women need to do is stop taking a back seat to male insecurities. I uplifted my man and emotionally supported him when he felt like he was in the gutter employment wise, all while I climbed up the ladder. Now, I didn't see him and brag and boast. But what this nikka turn around and do????? Cheated on me when I was the only Educated/DownAss Woman who was with him when he had NOTHING!!!!!!! Mental note, neva again!!!!! If you ain't got, and ain't gone get I WILL NOT BE BOTHERED!!!!!
F. the back seat I'm behind the wheel.

]]> By: ANuJS http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14193 ANuJS Fri, 12 Sep 2008 08:15:06 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14193 "... Xilla you posting this to create a debate and you know it!" been a lot of this lately :) “… Xilla you posting this to create a debate and you know it!” been a lot of this lately :)

]]> By: Alex http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14192 Alex Fri, 12 Sep 2008 07:19:07 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14192 Ladies, I read the comments and I agree with most if not all. There is nothing wrong with being independent, and don't ever feel bad about it!! What I will say is this we have allowed our black men, sons, brothers etc to become dependent whilst we have demonstrated our independence at times growing up in perhaps a single female parent home. Let's not keep looking at the problems and create solutions - there are plenty of men out there, who are also independent. But let's start at home by teaching our children their history don't rely on the the school version. Teach your male children to be independent like you do for your females and stop doing for them cause they have become lazy that we have become a culture of "what have you done for me lately?". As women you know it's us that run things.. don't be fooled by these labels they put on us to bring us down also. But think about how we can educate, assist our black men to gain more independence instead of being unemployed, going to jail and all the other typical sterotypes out there. <br><br>I am a independent black woman, loving myself pheonominally (don't think I spelt that right but hey) I own my own home, lease a nice car, planning my own business whilst holding down a full time job and taking care of my teenage children. All I am doing is doing me and planning for the future. I don't give a f**k what anyone thinks or has to say about me I've been divorced for 3 years and happily single. During that time met some very nice single men who are secure doing for themselves.<br><br>Don't believe the hype, Xilla you posting this to create a debate and you know it! Ladies, I read the comments and I agree with most if not all. There is nothing wrong with being independent, and don't ever feel bad about it!! What I will say is this we have allowed our black men, sons, brothers etc to become dependent whilst we have demonstrated our independence at times growing up in perhaps a single female parent home. Let's not keep looking at the problems and create solutions – there are plenty of men out there, who are also independent. But let's start at home by teaching our children their history don't rely on the the school version. Teach your male children to be independent like you do for your females and stop doing for them cause they have become lazy that we have become a culture of “what have you done for me lately?”. As women you know it's us that run things.. don't be fooled by these labels they put on us to bring us down also. But think about how we can educate, assist our black men to gain more independence instead of being unemployed, going to jail and all the other typical sterotypes out there.

I am a independent black woman, loving myself pheonominally (don't think I spelt that right but hey) I own my own home, lease a nice car, planning my own business whilst holding down a full time job and taking care of my teenage children. All I am doing is doing me and planning for the future. I don't give a f**k what anyone thinks or has to say about me I've been divorced for 3 years and happily single. During that time met some very nice single men who are secure doing for themselves.

Don't believe the hype, Xilla you posting this to create a debate and you know it!

]]> By: kimberlee http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14191 kimberlee Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:51:17 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14191 I feel ya black... some women do go mad overboard with the attitude.. but to just ask a question... that sassiness is a part of black women... it is a part of who we are... A lot of men find that attractive. Now I am not talking about them females that are just downright nasty in their ways... but sometimes that smart mouth is what keeps other males out of her face.... I think that is one thing about black women that black men need to learn to understand... we take on so many flaws in our men.. from having been in prison, cheating, other children, and bad attitudes themselves... you can at least take a lil attitude...lol I feel ya black… some women do go mad overboard with the attitude.. but to just ask a question… that sassiness is a part of black women… it is a part of who we are… A lot of men find that attractive. Now I am not talking about them females that are just downright nasty in their ways… but sometimes that smart mouth is what keeps other males out of her face…. I think that is one thing about black women that black men need to learn to understand… we take on so many flaws in our men.. from having been in prison, cheating, other children, and bad attitudes themselves… you can at least take a lil attitude…lol

]]> By: kimberlee http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14189 kimberlee Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:46:26 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14189 baby t .... it is damned if you do.. damned if you don't. If you are broke waiting on a man to take care of you... you are a gold digger, and don't deserve a man, and if you are ambitious and work for all your own stuff... you are too headstrong and should be alone. shrugs... oh well.. JUST DO YOU I ALWAYS SAY. I feel if it is in the cards for you to have a mate.. they will accept you and your flaws.. the same as them wanting you to accept theirs. baby t …. it is damned if you do.. damned if you don't. If you are broke waiting on a man to take care of you… you are a gold digger, and don't deserve a man, and if you are ambitious and work for all your own stuff… you are too headstrong and should be alone. shrugs… oh well.. JUST DO YOU I ALWAYS SAY. I feel if it is in the cards for you to have a mate.. they will accept you and your flaws.. the same as them wanting you to accept theirs.

]]> By: blackfujones http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14190 blackfujones Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:36:06 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14190 i always find it funny that the most independant women are single. they sing the same tune,men are intimidated,insecure blah blah blah. thing is as independant women your unable to tone down your attitudes to find a suitable mate. i had to do the same thing to find my wife,so why would it be any different to so-called independant people. basically i believe independant people are selfish,its when you allow yourselves to depend on another person when your able to transcend and allow someone to love you. i always find it funny that the most independant women are single. they sing the same tune,men are intimidated,insecure blah blah blah. thing is as independant women your unable to tone down your attitudes to find a suitable mate. i had to do the same thing to find my wife,so why would it be any different to so-called independant people. basically i believe independant people are selfish,its when you allow yourselves to depend on another person when your able to transcend and allow someone to love you.

]]> By: VIChick http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14188 VIChick Fri, 12 Sep 2008 04:16:15 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14188 I am a single independent woman and I it seems like men are intimidated by me because I got my own shit. What is wrong with a woman wanting someone that at least can provide for himself? I am not saying I need someone to take care of me but I would at least like to be with someone that can have my back weather it be financially, emotionally, or spiritually. If I fall on hard times I want to know my man can have my back and vice versa. I am not in the habit of taking care of a grown ass man because he either refuses or doesn't know how to take care of himself. I am a single independent woman and I it seems like men are intimidated by me because I got my own shit. What is wrong with a woman wanting someone that at least can provide for himself? I am not saying I need someone to take care of me but I would at least like to be with someone that can have my back weather it be financially, emotionally, or spiritually. If I fall on hard times I want to know my man can have my back and vice versa. I am not in the habit of taking care of a grown ass man because he either refuses or doesn't know how to take care of himself.

]]> By: kimberlee http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14186 kimberlee Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:38:30 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14186 I just don't understand why when a man accomplishes something and he makes requests of the type woman he wants (slim, smart, sexy, sane, with a job, etc) he is just exercising his preferences, but when a woman asks for her preferences ( employed, sane, sexy, independant, not a convict, etc) she is asking for too much, and therefore she should be alone...?<br><br>There are a lot of disfunctional people in the world both male and female. I have noticed that because of people with lack of morals and common sense... the ambitious and prosperous have to deal with people after they have gone thru one dysfunctional relationships after another.... then want to add boundaries when they get to someone of standards.<br><br>I say demand standards from the morally bankrupt... and stop putting labels on the one that have their shit together.<br><br>Tinanichelle... i agree with you... after you have worked so hard to achieve.. nothing is worse than a man that presents hisself as one thing in the beginning... and turns out to be a bum....I can tell you.. when you find out a person has lied... or is a bum... you tend to lose all respect... and I know for a fact... black women get an attitude at something like that... lol <br><br>So damn right that woman is going to check you... and more times than not it will bruise the egos of the weak... your ass shouldn't have been lying...no respect for you. I just don't understand why when a man accomplishes something and he makes requests of the type woman he wants (slim, smart, sexy, sane, with a job, etc) he is just exercising his preferences, but when a woman asks for her preferences ( employed, sane, sexy, independant, not a convict, etc) she is asking for too much, and therefore she should be alone…?

There are a lot of disfunctional people in the world both male and female. I have noticed that because of people with lack of morals and common sense… the ambitious and prosperous have to deal with people after they have gone thru one dysfunctional relationships after another…. then want to add boundaries when they get to someone of standards.

I say demand standards from the morally bankrupt… and stop putting labels on the one that have their shit together.

Tinanichelle… i agree with you… after you have worked so hard to achieve.. nothing is worse than a man that presents hisself as one thing in the beginning… and turns out to be a bum….I can tell you.. when you find out a person has lied… or is a bum… you tend to lose all respect… and I know for a fact… black women get an attitude at something like that… lol

So damn right that woman is going to check you… and more times than not it will bruise the egos of the weak… your ass shouldn't have been lying…no respect for you.

]]> By: kimberlee http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14180 kimberlee Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:26:06 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14180 I agree that NO ONE should want someone that will put them down, but to say she is that women that make more money than their man is destined to be alone, is not a fair assumption.... the article again was a one sided view into what makes women speak up or say things like I make more than you. When someone works hard to achieve and you have someone that will try to belittle you, I don't know of too many people that will not speak on their accomplishments. <br><br>But to say because they mention their accomplishments as a reason to dump them, if that was the case men would have the same problem. Many men throw in women's faces the need to mention what they have..... it is a self esteem issue when you put your self worth in categories of monetary accomplishments... and unfair to let someone elses mention of theirs make you not want them. <br><br>We are all materialistic to some point... no one that is sane wants to be broke, homeless and never get anything nice. But no this was not about women who put their men down , but more about the power struggle that many men feel they should always win. I agree that NO ONE should want someone that will put them down, but to say she is that women that make more money than their man is destined to be alone, is not a fair assumption…. the article again was a one sided view into what makes women speak up or say things like I make more than you. When someone works hard to achieve and you have someone that will try to belittle you, I don't know of too many people that will not speak on their accomplishments.

But to say because they mention their accomplishments as a reason to dump them, if that was the case men would have the same problem. Many men throw in women's faces the need to mention what they have….. it is a self esteem issue when you put your self worth in categories of monetary accomplishments… and unfair to let someone elses mention of theirs make you not want them.

We are all materialistic to some point… no one that is sane wants to be broke, homeless and never get anything nice. But no this was not about women who put their men down , but more about the power struggle that many men feel they should always win.

]]> By: LexAve http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/09/11/from-the-vault-of-blogxilla-the-independent-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-14187 LexAve Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:54:40 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/?p=2547#comment-14187 I'm an independent woman and don't claim any of these reasons. Then again...I'm not single. I'm an independent woman and don't claim any of these reasons. Then again…I'm not single.

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