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The Expectation Of Men
Posted in Relationships on 09. Sep, 2008
Ladies ask me all the time, “What does Xilla look for in a woman?” Well quite frankly not looking for anything special in the words of Andre 3000 “not to fast, but not too slow… I just want a sweet b*tch” I need for her to have an @ss fatter than the Klumps.
I need for my woman to have the finest hair on the planet, always done and softer than silk. Never mind that I might need a shape up and my hair is nappier than T-Pain’s pubic hair. I need for my woman to have the best clothes on Earth, even if my clothes come from Walmart. I need for her shoes to be made by some guy who has 14 contestants in a row, eventhough my uptowns are scuffed and leaning to the left.
I need for my woman to have the best p*ssy in the universe and I want her to do all the things I see in porn. She need to be able to drop it low and suck like a vacuum for the 2 minutes it takes me to reach climax. I need for my woman to have money like Oprah, so I can borrow a few buck so I can spend it on strippers and newports. Her stomach has to be flat… We both can’t have beer bellies. I need for my lady to be in the house when the street lights come on, because she’s not going to cheat on me, I mean it’s not like she’s one of my jump off, bust it babies or hoes, she’s wifey.
Men put outrageous demands on women, and for some reason women seem to meet them. I can’t understand this. Men we need to look in the mirror before we start blurting out demands for our women to follow because nine times out of ten we fail to get a passing grade. Don’t take my word for it. Check out what my Twitter friends had to say about the expectation of men.
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Suga_HiL @BlogXilla Look like Americas Next Top Model 24/7, when they look like sloppy sam 80 percent of the time..
savvyfatty @BlogXilla They want you to pledge allegiance to their dick while they pledge allegiance to any body’s clit
cristalbubblin @BlogXilla and another one: Men want women to be committed while they are sluts
THEflyGIRL @BlogXilla Men want women to be on the real while the are on some bullshit.
PrincessLola @Blogxilla Men want you to be in top shape when they are a Rick Ross titty havin shiddy mess
Marleaux @BlogXilla Men want us to play the role of every women in their life, while they be just the ninja that at least comes home every night…
sugarlips @BlogXilla Men want you to be EVERYTHING while they AIN’T SHIT. lolol Kind of an obvious one, no?
1. Men expect you to be the freakiest freak in bed, but be a virgin.
2. Men expect you to have a banging as body, when alot cant even see their Richards cuz their bellies are in the way.
3. Men expect women to be a wife, when they really arent behaving like husbands.
4. Men expect loyalty, when SOME men ar from loyal.
5. Men expect women to cook for them, but are they not suppose to cook for us?
6. Men expect women to be these non-farting, non-burping.. non-shitting species… guess what WE DO ALL THAT TOO!
As more come to mind Ill come back and add…
MEN EXPECT YOU TO GIVE THEM AWESOME HEAD WHILE YOU GOT ONE HAND COOKING AND THE OTHER KEEPING HOUSE….
MEN EXPECT YOU TO BE SOMEONEYOUR NOT AND SOMEONE HE WILL NEVER MEET IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE…….
MEN EXPECT YOU TO “UNDERSTAND” THAT IT'S APART OF A MAN'S DNA TO FUCK EVEN IF DUDE IS WITH SOMEONE ALREADY……..
MEN EXPECT YOU TO “UNDERSTAND” THAT HE GET TO CHILL WITH HIS BOYS BUT, AT THE SAME TIME GET MAD WHEN YOU WANNA CHILL WITH YOUR GIRLS!
MEN EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE HE IS THE BEST AND ONLY DICK YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!
WHEN IN FACT HE SHOULD BE GREATFUL YOU LET HIS PUNK ASS SMASH WITH HIS TINY ASS DICK!
LMAO @ “HE SHOULD BE GREATFUL YOU LET HIS PUNK ASS SMASH WITH HIS TINY ASS DICK!”, so true, so true!!!
you messing with small men Pussy?
Giiiirrrrlllll, I agree!!!
They have all these outrageous expectations of women, that are too far fetched!
SMH. So, we all know one of these men?
Men want you to be their mommy (cook, clean, please them whenever they THINK they want something) but not be their mother (ask them questions, expect responsibility, make demands….yes dammit demands). Then they have a damn problem.
I had NO idea where this was going. But I'm SO glad I stuck it out until the last paragraph. So true. So very true.
@XILLA…WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER…YES I HAD SMALL DICK IN MY LIFE BUT, I GAVE THE BASTERD THE “BIG DICK” TREATMENT!
AND ON TOP OF THAT BULLSHIT HE HAD THE NERVE TO HAVE GOLD ASS TEETH IN HIS MOUTH AND CHEWED THE HELL OUT MY COOCHIE……AND I BLEW HIS HEAD UP LIKE HE WAS THE CHAMPION DICK SLINGER! I USE TO FAKE MOAN AND GROAN ALL THE TIME WITH HIM……UNTIL I GOT INTRODUCED TO “SUPER DICK” THEN THE GAME CHANGED!
Men expect you to perform oral sex on them and they won't do it to you.
Men expect you to look like Beyonce or Halle Berry when they look like Flavor Flav.
Men expect you to be in shape, meanwhile they're all out of breath when they walked up a flight of stairs.
Men want you to be ladylike but they cuss up a storm.
Men expect you to forgive them for cheating, but will toss your ass out if you do it.
Men want you to accept them as they are, but want you to change.
Men want you to maintain your pubic hair, but their pubes are nappy and nasty and have lint.
Men want women to be a porn star in the bed to make them cum but they can't find the woman's G spot.
Men expect women to have a big ass and big breasts but we expect a big penis too. Only they can't afford a penis extension. LOL
Some men want all or nothing when they can even commit to you but want you 100% to them and nothing less….
*Gasps, then Blushes* MzVirgo, behave….LOL
I remember when I was younger, I used to talk to this dude(nothin serious) that was 26yrs with THREE CHILDREN, the oldest being 14.
At one point during a conversation he said “I can't fuck with a woman that has kids, who wants to deal with that type of baggage?”
*Awkward Silence, me giving him the blank stare*_________________________________________
he continues, “Um cuz you know, I'm just sayin, I already got kids too and I'm not tryin to raise a village”.
Thanks shout out, I never usually make the cut for you twitter posts..Hopefully you have educated these dudes and they make permanent mental notes.
Oh and great post..
@ Pussycatfun
I feel u girl! I had 2 small d*cks in my sex life and they were both mistakes b/c I didn't know any better! But after those 2, I made sure to get a feel of the goods b4 things went too far b/c my kitty don't like any 'small timers' if ya' know what I mean..lol.
But then again I did have this one guy who was packing but didn't have a clue what to do w/ it!! I couldn't teach an old dog new tricks…so I bounced and let his girl deal with the headache. Puhahaha!
Some guys are so clueless….they want too damn much. They want 2 b treated like they put a ring on someone's finger. Like they own the puss…but last I checked…my ring finger was empty! So I'll tell a dude quick fast…you're just renting the puss until a buyer comes along!
Gimmie all you got or don't gimmie SHIT!!!!
I dont give a damn bout lil dicks, it wasn't his choice. I don't give a damn about his bread, b/c it's HIS, just be YOU!! Not what ppl want him to be, just to be himself, comfortable in his own skin. That to me is priceless and that is my expectation. Walk with confidence, speak with authority and love with certainty. Lemme see all that he is off the rip b/c I reveal who I am, and allow the opportunity to make rational decisions about what if any type of dealing the two of us should have.
Sugar Tits,
I love you, Really!
You sum things up profoundly and exactly how it needs to be said.
Thank You!! You are very inspiring!