Don’t You Know You’re A H*e?

 

(The following is a guest post written by The Fly Girl)

Ladies, if I hear one more chick talk about how their man is dogging them, cheating on them and generally showing his ass, I am going to scream.

Take my girl for example. She’s pretty chill, 20-something, with a good job, no kids, college-educated and is very easy on the eyes. But her problem is, her man treats her like shit. He dips off for extended periods of time and offers no explanation as to why he ignores her calls. He’s got some questionable MySpace interactions and now this latest episode has really left me wanting to ask her: don’t you know you’re his hoe?

No don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming her for her man’s dumb behavior. But here’s the deal, my girl is a free spirit. She’s done some wild shit. Now I say this without judgment, I mean let’s be real; I’ve done some wild shit. But damn if she doesn’t make me blush. And she’s done a lot of wild shit WITH her man. And the shit she did before her man, she’s told him all about. I mean this is the same chick that called at 3am to come get them cause they were picked up for public indecency after she blew him in a city park. And everything about the way he treats her, says he has no respect for her.

No not every woman wants to be wifed-up. But this is her goal. I mean she works hard to keep him sexually satisfied, she cooks, she’s tender but she really can’t understand for the life of her, why he just won’t “Do right.” But what my dear friend doesn’t understand is there’s a thin line between a freak and a hoe.

See everyman, well just about everyman, wants a freak. And if he tells you he doesn’t, chances are, he’s lying. But at the core, most men, eventually want to settle down, jump the broom, drop some babies and start thinking about their legacies.

But there are some chicks out there that sincerely believe they are just freaks, when in fact they’re nothing but hoes. And chances are, if you fall into that second category, your man is treating you as such. So I’ve come up with a set of questions to help you determine if your man sees you as a hoe.

• 1. How much of your sexual past does your man know about?

While I advocate being honest, most men, look at the women they wife and want to believe that they are the first, the best and the only. Even though we all know that’s probably not true. But with every story of drunken hand jobs to strangers, you are changing how your man looks at you. And he may not say it, hell he may not even know it, but he’s losing respect for you.

• 2. Does he ask you to cover-up in front of his friends?

If your mans best friend drops by unexpectedly early on a Saturday morning, and you come out of the bedroom in your nightgown, will he ask you to throw a robe on? If not, it’s because he doesn’t care if his boy sees your goodies.

• 3. Does he refuse to go to church with you?

I know this sounds a little out there, but would your man go to church with you for ANY reason, be it a wedding, a baby dedication or a funeral? Because it’s one thing for him to parade you down the block but not many men will rock a hoe on his arm in the house of the Lord.

• 4. Does he only buy you panties?

When’s the last time your man gave you a non-sexually related gift? Really think about this…Something other than lingerie, underwear and even jewelry and flowers (which we all know are panty-droppers). When’s the last time he came home with a book, and not Karma Sutra?

• 5. Has he asked you to do a three-way…With another dude?

Now let me be clear. Most dudes want to do a three-way. Most dudes. But here’s the test. Most guys fantasize about seeing their woman with another chick. It’s a source of power really. It’s the idea that they are so manly that they can handle TWO women at the same time. But a man wanting to see his woman with another man is whole nother issue. A man watching his woman getting banged by another dude is sometimes a sense of control. And you have to wonder his level of respect for you, if that’s something he suggests.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg, but a good place to start.

Yes, men like the video hoe-fessional types. You know, the chicks that ride poles for dollars (no judgment, but let’s be real). We’ve all seen them in the club, the chicks with permanent fuck faces. And we all watched fellas flock to them. But here’s what you don’t see. That dude is gonna take her home, or maybe even just out to the car, and he’s gonna fuck her. And his boys might fuck her too. And once he busts, he might take her number, save it in his phone under some physical description like, “Camel Toe” and then call her when he gets that itch. But make no mistake, while she could probably peel a banana hands-free, he will probably never take her home to meet his mama.

Remember, the phrase is “A lady in the streets, but a FREAK in the bed.” Nobody said anything about a hoe.