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Not On The First Night
Posted in Relationships, Sexual Intellectuals on 22. Aug, 2008
I have often wondered what was the big issue w/ having sex on the first night. I have been told by many females that they already know if they are going to sleep w/ a guy from the moment they meet him. So if that’s the case why withhold the coochie? Time after time again I have met girls who preached about not giving it up on the first date only to have her panties hanging from my ceiling fan and an ankle on each of her earlobes. Now I take nothing away from them at all guys do it all the time and are not questioned for it at all. But when a female give it up too fast she is labeled a Hoe or easy. Well let me be the first to tell you that that logic is absolutely false!! I know Tons of girls who made a guy wait months only to sleep w/ him, his best friend, his uncle, cousin, daddy, and his chick on the side!!!
Perfect example I have a friend who shall remain nameless. Now from what I can tell he never had much luck w/ girls. I lost contact w/ him for a while only to find out he’s involve w/ a girl who my whole crew ran through in our hay day… 1,2,3,4, 5, of my friend hit it and hit it again. Hell she even wanted a run at me but I didn’t want to be number 6, so I passed. I have standards. Now she decided to sleep w/ all of my friends at different times in the course of me knowing her. So when I found out she was w/ him i wanted to tell him of her past but when he spoke of her i could hear the love in every word he spoke as he told me about how she made him wait. So I never told him maybe she changed, they were together for years… they seemed happy and honestly she was good for him. I would feel so Uncomfortable in their house as she served me Chicken Wings,and beer during card games. Handed me the potato salad for cookouts, she was doing all type of wife like things.
I also know girls who gave it up on the first night and are still w/ that guy today Married actually. I would go into detail but i think she reads my blogs… lol But what I’m trying to say is that if you like someone and you want to bump uglies w/ them then go ahead and do it, you might just save yourself some time and frustration. Just make sure to strap UP… Seat Belts save lives!!! We don’t want you going out like Willie Lump Lump
I'M A GROWN ASS WOMEN WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS….IF I LET DUDE SMASH ON THE FIRST NIGHT IS BEACUSE I WANT HIM TO!
AND IF I DON'T WANT HIM TO SMASH…..HE DON'T…THE END.
LoL @ PCF..your comments are too funny.. i think the whole 'not on the first night' thing is for females to seem innocent and 'not easy' i guess..but they're not fooling anyone.. you know when you see someone if your gonna sex them or not, so why stunt and put off the inevitable..
I make a man wait because i dont wanna find out later that he crazy, or just not right for me. Now when i was younger and didnt care about all that i would let dude smash if i was feelin him. I dont make him wait for it to seem innocent cause the minute i decide we fuckin, all that innocence goes out tha window anyway!
@LB…LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING….SOME CHICKS TRY TO PLAY THAT ROLL LIKE SHE DON'T GET DOWN LIKE THAT BUT, ALL THE WHILE SHE'S A WHORE…AND THE ONES WHO FUCK ON THE FIRST NIGHT END UP BEING “WIFED”
WELL, I SLEPT WITH MY HUBBY THE FIRST NIGHT WE MET AT A FRIENDS B-DAY PARTY , DRUNK AS SKUNKS! i MEAN DRUNK, WE WERE DANCING AND HE TOLD ME I WOULD BE HIS WIFE AND I LAUGHED AT HIM AND SAID MAYBE TONIGHT BUT NOT IN THE MORNING…WELL 3 YEARS I AM HIS WIFE….WHO KNEW!!!!
BUT FOR THE RECORD, AS PUSSYCATFUN SAYS ..IF YOU WANNA F**K DO IT, MEN DO!
JUST DONT EXPECT A MIRACLE IN THE MORNING, IT IS JUST SEX!
Real talk. I digs it.
You all are talking crazy about do it if you feel like it, as if we don't live in a world with consequences….. 1) I mean, personally, I would never go home with or bring a complete and total stranger to my home–what if you turn up missing, you don't even know him, so how will any of your friends or family know where to start looking or even to notify the police, since most one night stands are kept on the DL; 2) You have no idea about this person's health or even his/her hygiene–I can image nothing worse than attempting to be intimate with someone you already don't know, only to find out that he/she has body odor, I'd love to see all of you “free spirits” try to get out of that one, when you are in dude's house and you don't even know him and have gotten him hot, horny, and naked, talking about “I'm gonna need to go now!”; 3) What if he/she is married (after all, you don't know him/her) and he/she hase taken you to his/her home and the spouse comes home or even worse this nicca has brought you to his mother's home, lying like it is his home, only to have his parent or younger sibling walk in on you. These are just a few of the reasons why I would never do the one night stand thing…. I mean we all know that we do not live in the 1940s and that adults can do whatever they please, but I guess I am just old fashioned. My morals would not allow me to do it, along with my paranoia. Finally, no matter how we like to delude ourselves into thinking that things have changed and no matter what Xilla writes on this blog, we all know that the double standard will never go away…even with the one night stand (man) that you are F*cking with.
Well said…
I do know who WILL NOT be in between MY Sugar Walls day one or one million………………..those two clown ass fools in that picture. They must be from NJ…….lol…………..
@ Suga Tits:
I am still laughing about your comments about those two DAMN FOOLS in the picture—they look like they got stuck in the mid to late 1990s. For their sake, I hope that this is an old picture. I always wonder, are the people in the pictures people that Xilla knows….cause if those are his homeboys, well, lets just say, I have no words…
I would have to agree
That ish is SO highschool!!! LOL
I'm a GROWN ASS WOMAN!! If I want the bizness, i will get it!! There ain't no point in tryin to play the role…
However, I think there is still somewhat of a double standard, a few of my co-workers and I were on this subject the other day and some of the guys were saying they loose respect for a woman who gives it up on the first date… whats up with that?!
Cus I know me and “husband” (we married in that no condom wearin way… lol) handled the BIZNESS the first nite we met… he's still here!!!
LOL @ Willy lum lump, I love it
exactly!!
Dumb ass, of course use protection!!! Obviously!!! But I guess u gotta break it ALL the way down for some folks
And use ur own condoms, that u bought…I'm done
I was thinking the same thing girl…thats a bad pic for this post
Wow I FEEL LIKE men and woman view sex so loosely and while young girls are looking at us adult women being so loose and I fuck on the first night how are we setting examples for our niece’s cousin and daughters. It is that Serious when you lay down and give a man your body and the next day he tell you I’m married or I got a girl and condoms do not help all the STD that’s out here. What do you mean this is not high school. That’s why the young girls are so loose because we older woman have failed to set an example for them to make men respect you. If we tell out daughter about there young boyfriends don't make them pressure you into sex. He can wait for you if he likes you. than why as grown women we feel the need to jump in the bed with a men cus he smiled at you? damn at least let the nigga get you a happy meal are something this world is a mess. And my good good is fire and I ain't wasting my snacks up sleeping with nigga’s I don’t know who most likely have a girl are a wife I deserve better.
@ Nichelle W:
I agree with you (see above post), but what you have to remember is that alot of these women are just talking shyt because they are on a blog. Most of them have probably never had a one-night stand and if they did they probably wouldn't admit to it in mixed company. This is what people do on blogs….talk shyt because they are anonymous, it's called bragadocious.
1 man I slept with on the 1st night married me (though I divorced him 8 yrs. later), and my new man moved me in after the 1st night of this *ussy! Y'all women complaining about being by yourselves need to wake your sex game up a few notches. Keep it real with yourself!
Sex, 9ussy, honey hole…I think we need to stop giving so much value and signifigance to whats in them Vicky Secrets. EVERY WOMAN thinks/ knows she has the illest na-na, the untouchable good-good or waeva, but I can garantee that somewhere, there sits a chick with phenomenal pelvic control, no gag reflex, and NO man.
Yeah he may get sprung, and want to be up in and under yo ass…but…If a man tryna make some long termness happen, That Sex Game cannot be traded in for goods (unless you ho'ing of course), it can't hold down the business end of the deal. I aint never seen a 9ussy write a check. And the probability of actually meetin someone that u can flucc the first nite, have them move in and not end up on a Lifetime Channel Movie/ Oxygen Network's Snapped/ America's Most Wanted is RARE!
What's better than 9ussy?….NEW 9ussy!
@ Nykya:
Your post goes in the hall of fame!
I personally think it's about preferences and what your standards are..but we know hoes come in all different types and packages. I personally am a woman that has to connect intellectally before even thinking about connecting on an intimate level. So that means don't think you getting any anytime soon after meeting me..Plus, only reason you feel the need to sleep with someone on the first night is either lack of self control or that's how you roll, if you can live with you being you thats all that matters.
Nyka that was the “BEST” comment ever!! I agree with you 100%.
You know, from my experience the man i want as a serious mate is the one i tend to make wait for the cooch.. and the men with whom we are just cutty buddies, are the ones i dont mind sexing within the first week.. This is something i never realised till my girlfriend brought it to my attention. I dont know, maybe its because i want to make sure he is feeling me more than just my coochie, so i make him wait!! Whereas if we just sexing i dont care how he feel, as long as he there when i want to get some, and give it right..