Advice From BlogXilla
OK since I’m remaining anonymous, and you are “THE” Blog Xillionaire (lol) I will give you background on my situation. This is a problem I’ve been having for a few weeks. I can’t stand it and I’m going out of my mind!
I’ll warn you, this story is long. But you’ll get all the background of how I’m in the situation I’m in:
I am still best friends with my ex. (We were best friends before we dated off and on for two months. It was long distance and we couldn’t handle it anymore but we’ve remained best friends since the break up.)
Last summer when I started to become attracted to my best friend/ex again, he wasn’t feeling me. He just wanted to stay friends as he was talking to someone else. So I moved on, and just kept my options open. I ended up becoming platonic friends for about 6 months with this other man, then I started to fall for him. A week after I started looking at the new guy as “more than a friend”, here comes my best friend/ex, talking about, “I want to get back with you!”
He knew of the other man I was going out on dates with. I started to string both of them along, as I couldn’t make up my mind. They both knew about each other. A few weeks passed and I was given an ultimatum from the both of them: I had to choose one of them. I chose the new guy. We’ve been dating now for going on 9 months. But I no longer get butterflies when I see him or hear from him. Also, I live with him. I’m also attached to his 10 year old daughter who he has every other weekend. His whole family is attached to me and his grandmother who’s dying of cancer, keeps asking me when we’re getting married.
To make matters even more confusing: I do get butterflies when I hear from my best friend/ex. I think I never fell out of love with him, and I thought I was in love with the guy I’m with, but I believe now that I’m only in love with the way he treats me. Also, my best friend/ex thought I was going to choose him so he got a new place, a better-paying job, and an engagement ring for me. Yet I didn’t choose him so he’s still alone, keeps trying to meet someone who makes him feel like I do, but he has no luck. I want to get back with my ex one day, not any day soon, but I can’t go any longer stringing my current boyfriend along.
How do I tell my boyfriend of 9 months that I’m no longer in love with him????
Signed Tangie Torn Between The Two
Dear Tangie Torn b/w The Two
There is no need to beat around the bush on this one so I’ll just jump right into it. Your in a stressful situation, but as we discovered in my Previous Blog Tupac on respecting women… People like a challenge and that is what comes to mind when I hear of the bf/ex he had his chance and 2nd chance, and he was too busy w/ someone else to want you again, to love you again. But when you get someone else, o0o0o0 here he comes wanting to be down w/ you when you have someone who may or may not treat you better then he did. We all want what we cannot have or what someone else has but your to much into your current relationship to just pick up and leave, Kids and Sick Grannies are involved. Now I say if you don’t love your current Beau you need to have a talk w/ him and give him a chance to change the things you no longer love about him, and you did say you love the way he treats you… Isn’t that what we all want to be treated like Kings and Queens? Is it an issue in bed? Or he’s just not a looker? I think maybe you need to take a time out from both of them evaluate what it is that you really want in your life. maybe a week maybe a month or longer. Your living w/ him your this guy who is treating you how you love to be treated… Those butterflies are going to come and go. When your in a relationship both of you have to stay on your toes you have to re-invent yourselfs offer something new to one another or it is going to get dull and mundane. Tell him that. Tell him you have lost those butterflies… it’s more than likely that you see him everyday and everynight. Basically your and current guy need to talk. Marriage is out of the Question for both of them… Marriage is Forever!!! and if your not ready your not ready….
The BF/Ex he sounds bored to me… and I think you sort of know it… but it’s the thrill of it and the what if factor that I think is turning you on… b/c that’s what I’m getting from the message you sent me. He is still playing the field so I don’t think he is serious about getting married. If he really wanted to be w/ you he would have to sell out put his all into it taking you back.. I’m sure he knows he has a chance. You 2 will make better friends then lovers.
but overall you need to have a serious talk w/ the guy you live w/ tell him that you don’t love him… I sort of think that your ex/bf is helping you fall out of love w/ your boyfriend. But your not ready for such a big step. If you love your ex and if he will give you more and treat you as good as your current dude… hey what can I say I believe our goal in life is simply to be Happy. So follow your heart and live w/ the outcome.
Signed BlogXilla
Please Send all advice request to Xilla[at]blogxilla[dotcom]
