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Is Black On Black Dating Dying?
Posted in Relationships, Sexual Intellectuals on 12. Aug, 2008
It’s 2008 and people still wince when they see a black man and a white woman or vice versa. Although I have never been in a relationship with another race, I’ve always found a few woman of different races attractive like Rosario Dawson, Elisha Culbert and Lucy Lui. With more and more mixed women populated the videos is black on black dating dying?
Why do we switch races?
I know a lot of women who actually thought about giving up on black men and dating white men only. Many of crossed the line, and others claim they would never do such a thing. As the media portrays beauty as blonde hair, and blue eyes a walk around the night clubs or even fashion trendy malls what do you see? You’ll see black woman with blonde weaves,wigs, and color contacts. Do they want to be white or are they just trying to bait a black man?
The Black men are no better, more and more are trading in braids for mohawks [I myself had a mohawk] and more corporate cuts. Dressing like rock stars, parading white women on their arms as trophies. Some thing he would have never done with a Black woman. The white woman is more tame, knows her place and does not confront a Black man like a black woman does.
So should the Black woman pay for the Black man like many believe a white woman does no but she should hold her own. One of the biggest stereo types of Black women are that they are money hungry. Yet white women have the same dilemma. Only Black women f*ck for light bills, white women f*ck for HALF.
What’s your stance on Interracial Dating?
Morning Xilla,ok this is a topic I can give a honest opinion on.I’m married to a white man and we have 2 beautiful babies…and it wasn’t that I gave up on black men,it’s just that I met and fell in love with my husband.It wasn’t all about his skin color,it was about how he treated me and made me feel when I was around him.Yeah we get the ignorant ass comments and looks from some people,but that shit doesn’t bother me because I love this man and other peoples opinions don’t matter.Sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with,some women,like myself just open themselves up to finding love outside of their race,same with men.You can’t help who you attracted to.
i’m a mixed woman, but consider myself to be black. personally, i don’t like seeing black men with white woman. mostly because the white woman is usually with a successful black man. they’re not enough successful black men to go around for them to take. and i do believe ALOT a black men and so lacking in self confidence and strength that they’re scared of black women and run to the snow bunnies.
white women everywhere, please STAY AWAY FROM OUR MEN!!!!!!!!!
as long as the person genuinely makes you happy and satisfy you then he is a keeper, no matter what the race is. i have dated a few dudes who were mixed, with black and white, and thats the furthest that i have gone as far as interracial dating is concerned.But for sure im open 2 the prospect of dating outside of my race. and for some reason i really really want to date a straight up white dude.
Miko,I got a question and please don’t take offense,what are you mixed with?
WELL, I REALLY DON’T HAVE A “TASTE” FOR A DUDE FROM ANOTHER RACE…BUT, IF THAT’S WHAT YOUR INTO THEN GO FOR IT….I CAN’T STAND THE THOUGHT OF SOME DUDE FROM ANOTHER RACE ON TOP OF ME OR EVEN GOING OUT WITH ONE CUZ IT WOULDN’T FEEL “RIGHT” TO ME….I LOVE MY BLACK MEN….EVEN THOUGH THEY GET ON MY DAMN NERVE!
LMAO!
Heyyy PCF!!!
yea I know what you’re talking about LHM I’ve been with a girl who people look at me like WTF but she was nice… lol some things you just can’t control so i can respect that!
PUSSY – what taste? Like you don’t have a specific type of man?
Miko – I will agree with you there, like most WHITE WHITE Women {not the ones who behave like inner city urban americans who listen to hip hop and r&b} tend to get the more well mannered, more groomed tend to vote republican black men… if they are not famous or they tend to get the ball players or rappers.I thnk it bothers me more so because they tend to treat white women as a status thing like i have too much money to date a black woman now. I mean if it’s real love then i have no problem with it.
HEY MS. MERCEY!
UUMMM…XILLA…DON’T START! LOL!
lol okay I won’t last time i said they and you made me start. Its early too I should do a Cinderella post today
DON’T GET SCARED…I’M READY ANY TIME MY…….*** CLEARS THROAT*** FRIEND.
I am currently engaged to a Japanese woman and I am black. It had nothing to do with her race and everything to do with her personality. She is the sweetest woman I have ever mt and she makes me feel needed. I t’s very ignorant of people to say this race should not be with that race.
THERE IS ONLY ONE RACE…THE HUMAN RACE!
http://www.myspace.com/truthson
I’ve never been with a Caucasian woman or any woman from another race for that matter. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had the chances. There were women of all races at my old college that LITERALLY threw me the p-ssy. I prefer my own although I love women (people in general) from all races. I would probably never marry or date a woman outside my race unless she was a PERFECT match. There is nothing wrong with interracial dating. Like my favorite historian J.A. Rogers said “all races have been mixed somewhat at this point in time.” What’s most important is that we are all people & as long as the person you’re dating/marrying is correctly suited for you then no one else should pass judgment.
Okay, my boyfriend works with 2 other black men and they both are married to white women. Usually this wouldn’t bother me, but the black men walk around wanting to be white and the white women want to be black. WTF? I’m a black woman who grew up with white friends and they never tried to act “black” nor did I have to change to be around them. My biggest problem with these relationships is they think they are going to have beautiful kids because they are mixed. I had one of them tell me the other day that they can’t wait to have a mixed little girl so she can put micros (weave) in her hair. How ignorant is that? I don’t understand how black men have the nerve to be picky with the stats on black men being in jail, not being responsible parents, and not being educated I don’t understand how they even have the nerve to be choosy!
@MIKO, I AM ALSO BI RACIAL, QUESTION FOR YOU…HOW CAN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS WHEN YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF THAT? AND WHILE I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH HOW ONE ADDRESSES THEMSELVES, HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF BLACK ONLY? YOU ARE A 50/50 SPLIT OF TWO RACES, HOW CAN YOU GET A WHOLE OUT OF HALF? NO JUDGEMENT JUST CURIOUS.
NOW AS FAR AS IM CONCERENED I ONLY WORRY ABOUT MY OWN BED AND WHOSE IN IT, I PERSONALLY HAVE ONLY DATED BLACK MEN AS MY PERSONL CHOICE,IF SOMEONE CHOOSES OTHERWISE I DON’T CARE, NOT MY BUSINESS OR MY CONCERN. PEOPLE WHO WORRY ABOUT OTHER FOLKS LOVE LIVES MAYBE HAVE A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME ON THIER HANDS.
HEY PCF!!!!
AWWWWWWW…DAMN….KILLA IS HERE!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HEY GIRL!
I THINK I’M BI RACIAL…MY DAD IS CUBAN BUT, I JUST SAY I’M BLACKER THEN ANY BODY IN THIS B*TCH!
ON “APPLICATIONS” I ALWAYS PUT “OTHER” WITH NO EXPLANATION! LOL!
@PCF LMAOOOO!!! AHHH THAT’S WHERE THE FIRE COMES FROM!! LMAO
I DON’T REALLY LOOK MIXED, I DON’T HAVE THE MARIAH CAREY LOOK, MY MOMS GENES KICKED IN LIKE JACKIE CHAN!! LOL! I ALWAYS CALL MY SELF BI RACIAL, I GUESS FROM HOW MY MOM RAISED ME, SHE ALWAYS CALLED ME AND MY BROTHER MIXED.
Hey killa, you said to Mika exactly what I was thinking.
@PCF My dad is Dominican,but you know the roots of alot of Hispanic countries are from Africa,so you can say you’re black or Black Hispanic,that’s what I put
@Xilla,I just say this to those people opinions are like assholes,everybody has one..LMAO
I’m a black woman, but i have dated outside of my race before, my daughter is mixed with phillipino her dad was half black hal phillipino… My “type” of man has nothing to do with his color and everything to do with how physically and mentally attracted to him I am. I don’t really have a problem with interacial dating, my family is very mixed so i’ve grown up accepting that people dont always date within their race…
@D-san
Of course she’s going to treat you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, you’re black. She’s insecure that you may someday be interested in black women. Sorry to break it to you, but she would act the same way with any black man that would show her the attention.
I have seen groups on social networks with names like “White women who WORSHIP black men” Isn’t that sad? Why would you want to be with a woman who hates herself and worships something that she will never be?
I’m not saying that is the case for all interaccial couples, but when you ONLY date outside your race then you obviously hate yourself.
@MERCY – IT’S SOMETHING I’VE ALWAYS BEEN CURIOUS ABOUT, I GUESS THE ONLY THING I CAN COME UP WITH IS SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE MIXED CALL THEMSELVES WHAT THEY MOST IDENTIFY WITH, MY MOM IS BLACK (FROM GUYANA SOUTH AMERICA) FATHER IS WHITE (IRISH CANADIAN),BUT I GREW UP AROUND MY MOM’S FAMILY, SO I GUESS I CONNECTED WITH THAT SIDE, BUT MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD US WE WERE BI RACIAL OR MIXED. AT THE END OF THE DAY TO EACH HIS OWN CALL YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT! LOL
This is a really hard question to answer because there is a myriad of reasons. Most of the NBA, NFL and rappers wives and girlfriends are “beards.” Terrance Dean outed several people. John Legend who is also photoed with a white model is gay. They also do it to gain cool points with white people. Some of them date white women because they think they are too good for us and are gold diggers. We become unattractive and they claim they have nothing in common with us. I went to predominately white schools and college but I can still relate to my brothers. What I don’t understand is why what’s good for the goose isn’t good for the gander? When I am with my males friends of other races, I get the dirtiest stares from black men who are with white women. I will probably marry outside my race because black men tell me I am too white.
Overall, I am a very successful blackman.. Educated, attractive, blessed, all of the above..At this time, for some odd reason, I feel as if I want to date outside my race nowadays. Black women have no respect for the divine order. Man, Women, Child.. They see things as Child, Woman, Man… With this dynamic in place, it sets cause for a very unsuccessful marriage result. If im successful, why would I invest into a structure that’s set to fail. We’re growing up in an era where black women has taught their daughters how to be independent, instead of being in a true relation. They cant see no other man around when they didnt have a father around themselves. With this case in point, im begining to realize that it’s in my best interest to date outside my race. I have 7 other successful brothers that’s in my inner circle. All but one has made the choice to marry outside of the race. I’ve held on for 31 years, but now it’s time for me to move on. In reality, we hear about how black men are doing bad all day on tv/radio/blogs. But you never hear what black women are doing wrong. Soon or later, black women need to realize they have serious faults of their own they need to workout. You guyz arent perfect by no means.Pay attention as to how black women take criticism. They respond by finger snappin, neck moving, loud mouthing, and hair weave rubbing, instead of listening and learning.The end result is always nothing. No lesson learned. “Black Women” I love you as my queen, I always will. But now it’s time for me to move on with my life. Im another successful brother gone in the wind. Sincerely, X
I don’t believe in interacial dating never have. But my sister is married to a white male and she said they cater to their women more.
PEACE OUT “X”
WELL, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.
I am biracial (russian jewish and black) I was raised with my mother’s family who is white never knew who my dad was…anyways I say love who you love a person is a person not a color…. I have dated different races…as long as I am happy I dont care what anyone thinks or says…..
@Killa,LOL I tell my kids,you are mixed with several things that make you special and don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed of that.
But if we were really being honest,what person in America doesn’t have a drop of black blood in them? So is it really dating outside of your race?
@ Ive held on…you speak about black women in a stereotypical light. Maybe the reason you have not found the right SISTA is because of YOUR mindset. What’s up with you that attracts these type of women? It doesn’t matter the skin tone no matter what you say. Just like black men are tired of hearing black women say there are no more good men around, we are also tired of hearing about the weave wearing finger waving gum smacking stereotypes. It took me a while to find me a good black man but I never said they didn’t exist nor did i give up trying.I just had to check MYSELF and change things about MYSELF cause there was something about ME that was attracting DOGS just like it’s something about YOU that attracts what you dislike. To say you love your black queens but have given up trying to date them is redundant and might I add a crock of bull. Instead of complaining about what negative things sistas do check yourself and you might find the most beautiful nubian queen but dont look for a cop out. Be blessed BROTHA.
@MERCY-WE AS PEOPLE BASE EVERYTHING ON WHAT WE SEE, SO IF YOU LOOK BLACK, YOU’RE BLACK, IF YOU LOOK WHITE, YOU’RE WHITE ETC. WE DON’T BREAK IT DOWN TO GENETICS, LIKE I WOULD LOOK SIDEWAYS AT A CHICK WITH BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES IF SHE SAID MY GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRAMMA IS BLACK SO IM BLACK. IT BLOWS MY MIND THE FACT THAT IN 2008 PEOPLE ARE WORRYING ABOUT INTERRACIAL DATING…WHO CARES?? IM WORRIED ABOUT GAS, WAR, MY MORTGAGE, MY FUTURE, NOT WHO MY NEIGHBOR IS DATING.
Love is love. I don’t care about a man’s race. If he treats me right, and knows how to slang the D, that’s all that matters. I am open to dating men of any race.
@Killa,you better preach!! Who is you tellin,while they are complaining about who is dating who and having a baby by who,they better worry about who is gonna be the next leader of this country for real and GET OUT AND VOTE!
date who ya wanna..life’s too short too be hung up on someone’s skin color. I’ve never dated someone not in my race and i don’t think i would, i’m just not attracted to any other race like that. But really as long as your happy, treated with respect, and in love then do you.
I am a black woman who does not understand why black women get so mad about black men dating non-black women. Why is it so hard to believe that they are not doing it just to piss us off?
I remember this boy I went to high school with; sort of nerdy, liked science, was good at math, spoke proper english, stuff like that, and was thus accused of ‘acting white’ and got made fun of a lot. Black girls WOULD NOT DATE HIM, I remember he asked one out and she shot him down *hard* in front of everybody. I would not be surprised if he was with non-black women now, NOT because he’s bitter and wants to get back at all the black girls that wronged him, but because he wants to be with someone who isn’t mean to him for not being ‘black enough’ (after all, to other races black is black no matter what)
I also saw really dark-skinned guys get made fun of by black girls for being too dark, saying things that if a white person said them would get Al Sharpton and the whole ACLU protesting outside the school. The same girls would get all bent out of shape if a white girl said they thought one of those boys was cute.
There seemed to be a very narrow window between ‘too black’ and ‘not black enough’ and if they were outside of it they were alone unless they dated someone who wasn’t black.
I know this is not the case for everyone. I just don’t see how it helps to take other people’s relationships personally. Chances are you wouldn’t like the guy anyway, so go ahead and let someone else be happy with him even if she’s not black.
To “I’ve held on as long….”
I was just reading your comments in bewilderment. It irks me as a young ambitious, intelligent, loving, kind and nice looking black woman who loves her culture to know that you feel as though there is no black woman out there who is different from the types of women you have dated…but
What breaks my heart the most is that you feel that black women have failed to raise their children right – particularly their daughters. I ask why place the blame on the women when more than likely – a 70% chance likely – that the fathers of these kids weren’t around to teach their daughters how to pick a man and to teach their sons how to honor women – particularly black women.
It truly does break my heart because I know the struggles of black women are in no way easy. We are the true and only backbone of the black community and our men treat us as though no matter how hard we work or how far we strive we will never be good enough.
Is it jealousy, envy, hatred or downright misogyny that makes black men like yourself feel that black women are inferior and undeserving of the respect and love we deserve from the sons we raise all by ourselves.
-Sincerely Hurt
well i prefer a darker skin tone and since white ppl don’t come in that shade i probably won’t be dating any of them, but i wont say never
i think different races coming together is a beautiful thing, but its irritating when ppl just cut out their entire race from their selection, that seems really hateful
I support interracial relationships & marriage. I also have an interest in it as well. Honestly, I don’t tell a black woman that I’m into interracial relationships because they might hate me for that. I’m into interracial relationships because white, Hispanic and Asian women don’t have bad attitudes, they’ll have a brotha’s back and they won’t get with him for his money. So many sistas are wanting thugs and ballers…I decided to date outside my race. When I see a sista with a white dude, I don’t trip over it.
interracial dating doesnt bother me, its the attitudes that the person has for dating outside their race that pisses me off. If you fall in love with someone of the other race, then by all means, go for it…but as soon as you down black women for being ghetto “gold diggers” who talk shit and smack gum then theres a serious problem. That maybe how some women act but dont exclude a whole race because of it. Black women are angry at men who treat them like crap, so then black men wanna run to a white woman cus she’ll put up with the bullshit?
I’ve read the comments and the reasons people use to “validate” dating outside their race are funny to me and ignorant at the same time.
Not every black woman is acting like some ghetto *ss Bonquisha from the hood that doesn’t know how to carry herself. Not every black woman is bitter and hatefull or a golddigger.
There are plenty of black women who know how to behave in public, who cater to their man’s needs and who will have his back regardless, through thick and thin. And not every black woman is a golddigger.
But I’ve noticed these things will always be brought up when black men want to validate why they don’t date black women. So ova it said it best when she said that you need to take a look at yourself if these are the women you attract.
If a black person genuinly falls in love with a person from another race, there is nothing wrong with that. And if that’s the case, you won’t need to say anything but just that to validate why you’re with that person. You’re with them, because you love them, and that’s that. When you need to validate why you’re dating outside of the race by bringing your own race down, there’s something very wrong in my eyes.
I am an educated, well-rounded, attractive BLACK WOMAN. It kills me to see all these brothas make excuses about not finding “the upscale black woman that’s on their level.” Statistically, there are more black women enrolled in college, and they graduate at a higher rate as well. I have never dated outside my race. I always wanted to preserve the black family. Why, b.c I came from a two parent h/h of Black Man/Woman. My parents are still married after 30+ yrs. However, I’m getting really tired of brothas coming up w. the bullish. I don’t look to the “white man” for validation in my race/color/sexuality and I’m not going to start now. However, Black Men, need to stand up and take care of their responsibilities. Black Women need to stop making it easy for brothas to walk over and out. I have never had a child, but I’ll be damn if Imma let a brotha knock me up w. a litter of children w/o marrying me and being responsible. I woman can only treat you like a King if you carry yourself as one. Sistas remember who your are. I strongly believe that A Woman doesn’t Need a Man to Breath, but you need a man to be a Father/Husband in the home. I’ve been lucky enough to have been raised w/both and I’ve seen the difference as an adult.
Not Giving Up on the Black Man—-EbonyLolita
I wonder what the numbers of black interracial couples out there are? Have they become a majority or something and I didn’t get the memo?
If a person wants to date outside their own, more power to them…my issue comes when the justification involves slander and flat out lying about your reasons for dating someone who isn’t the same color as you.
First of all I must say that Reggie looks like a complete idiot on that picture with a hoe. Someone that literally has a sex tape going around making a fool of our fine black men.
What a disgrace!
Now to comment on black men dating outside the race. My problem comes in the fact that they are supposed to be our (black women) leaders. Our race alone has been used and oppressed for so long and it is still going on. All the while our kings are turning a blind eye all because of what the white man puts in his face. It is amazing to see just how outsourced they are making us beautiful black women.
I CHALLENGE EVERYONE ON HERE TO PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY THING YOU WATCH ON TV, MOVIES, ETC. HOW MANY BLACK WOMEN WILL YOU SEE WITH SPEAKING ROLES AT LEAST! AND I GUARANTEE YOU WILL SEE AT LEAST ONE BLACK MAN!
So why can’t our kings speak up instead of thinking that every other race is so much more appealing just because it’s what the white man puts in our face. I have 3 Beautiful Black Daughters and 1 Son. My girls never get to see someone that looks like them on anything, hell not even Disney channel.
You people really sit here with the “you should be able to date who you want crap” All the while WE ARE BEING GIVEN THE SHAFT!!!!!!! YEAH IT’S 2008 AND THERE ARE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN OUT THERE TO TAKE UP THAT SCREEN AS WELL.
WHY IN WILL SMITH’S LAST 3 MOVIES WAS HIS CO-STAR/LOVE INTEREST A WHITE GIRL? He makes enough to say NO! PUT SOME OF MY RACE OF WOMEN IN THERE AS WELL! HELLO!!! WAKE UP PEOPLE WE ARE BEING LEFT IN THE DUST AND ONE DAY WIPED OUT. WE NEED TO COME TOGETHER AND NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN. I AM MAKING IT MY PERSONAL QUEST SO BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE NEXT MOVEMENT!
I believe in love. Love has no color, what I do have issues with is people that say:
I only date white women because black women are too independent.
I’m done with black men because they can’t be trusted.
Just because you have some fucked up baggage you don’t need to take it out on all black women/men.
As far as these black athletes and entertainers, if they were regular brothers in the hood these white women wouldn’t give them the time of day. At the same time isn’t it ironic that you rarely see a professional male white athlete and entertainer dating a black woman? That’s like Tom Cruise or David Beckham marrying a white woman…NOT, but Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant I don’t need to go on it’s the norm.Just like it’s the norm for white men in Hollywood to wife up a chick 20 years younger.
Black on black dating will never die, but I see a lot of sisters like myself that are or considering trying something new, but the love for the brothers will never go away.
I can't believe nobody commented on this. I am a white woman and I date a black man, we met in college. I do not feel like he parades me around like a trophy because of my race, nor am I fucking him to get half the light bill paid. I'm not sure we ever actually discussed the fact that were are of different races, yet we have been together for almost four years. Of course we get the stereotyping like: She's with a black dude so she's easy, He's with a white girl so he must not be able to handle a black woman, family members on both sides thinkin we shouldn't “mix races”, and so on. But I don't mind other people opposing my decision because I can't let someone else's ignorance get in the way of love. I love my man and that's that.
I think that we should date within our race. We (black women) are already facing a quality man shortage. We don't need to lose the few we have left to interracial dating. Other races have their own men….duh leave “ours” alone..
It's alright as long as they can adjust with the situation and accept each other as well to work the relationship.
But if there is a 'shortage' of quality black men then surely something needs to be done about the way we bring up our men in relation to women.
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