The Thickness Meter
My homeboy Mel’s Black Thought came up with the thickness measurement meter and well I think this needs to be passed out to all the women all over the globe. Thats right I said thickness meter: ::A scale that measures the appropriate thickness of a woman.
I will no longer allow the word “thick” to be misused. Here is the TMS (Thickness Measurement System). If you see a gal and say she’s thick, this scale will help you determine her true thickness. Anyone who mistakes a 5MT for a 3PT should be shot on sight. Read the rest for more detail.
1 NT (Not Thick)- This woman has a minimal amount of curves. She may catch herself saying that she is thick when in reality she is purely saying this in jest. Perfect examples: Most white women, Whitney Houston
2 ST (Slim Thick)- The cutie with a little booty. Too slim too be called perfectly thick, yet too well endowed to be called skinny. When she’s wearing the right pair of jeans that ass is impossible to ignore. Or has a handful up top. Perfect examples: Eva Mendez or Sanaa Lathan
3 PT (Perfectly Thick)- Also known as the Video Vixen, these women have “The hourglass”, nuff said. They are by no means skinny, yet by no means fat. Shapely and fit, this is the type of woman of most men’s fantasies . Perfect examples: Beyonce, Melyssa Ford, Esther Baxter, Ki Toy Johnson, Vida Guerra, etc.
4 TT (Thicky Thick)- Junk in the trunk, badunkadunk, whatever you wanna call it these type of women have it. Sizeable yet shapely. They are what many call the “full figured woman.” They might shop at Lane Bryant, you’ll find minimal rolls on her. Perfect examples: Tocarra (full figured girl from America’s Next Top Model), Jackie’ (of 227 fame), Trina (Let’s face it, she’s still fine, but she’s one donut away from hella huge)
5 MT (Massively Thick)- This woman has no choice but to be thick because she is overweight. She is no stranger to a meal and is allergic to exercise. Perfect Examples: Roseanne Barr, Monique, Star Jones (before the tapeworm stole all her bodyfat)
