My Pursuit Of Happyness
My daughter comforts me as tears fall from eyes, she tells me it will be like the Suite Life of Zack and Cody as the police drop us off at the Intown-Suites. The alcoholic cousin I’ve been staying with kicked my 6 year old child and myself out of his house last night. Because i told her not to get any Kool-aid. I’ve come to learn that some people don’t do stuff out of the kindness out their heart. Rather they do stuff to have something to hold over your head. So as my writing career once again get set to boom I face my 2nd set back I’m homeless.
Every night I slept on the floor, only to wake up at 6 o’clock to entertain the people who read my website. I didn’t share my story, as I ate leftovers or drank water to fill a hunger in my gut. As my back ached from weird angles, my butt numb with pain from an unforgiving floor I continued to blog on. All the time the drunk man of the house would take his problems out on me. The fact that he has no control over his own house somehow became my fault. The fact that his wife disgust him, his son aspires to be a gangster rapper and that he has to break his back to make money, while i sit on the computer all day. It seems nice, but trust me its a full time job. A job that doesn’t bring in much money unless you work effortlessly to promote market and brand. A few big weeks you make 600 bucks to 1000 other weeks you make nothing. It’s a stuggle, when you’re trying to get writing jobs, and editors won’t reply to your email, when an old domestic dispute loses you your paying gig, and hands you 45 days in county jail. I digress
Everyone around me tells me to get a “real job” Perez Hilton made 20 million dollars I have a real job. They say “well get something to hold you over until the money starts coming in” I say alright give me 3 months. I got 2, months. I notice the problem that lied deep with in at his daughter’s birthday party as he bashed his ex best friend telling the guest at the party that he had herpes. A tasteless attempt to make himself seem better in front of 8 year olds and parents, then the alcohol makes him explain to a parent how he WOULD have beat her husbands ass if he didn’t dislocate a shoulder trying to bead her husbands ass. His own wife looks on in disgust, and tries to make him shut up. Deep down the both of them knowing she’s only there because he tried to kill himself. She wouldn’t call the ambulance, I called them, they arrived to save his life. A constant reminder of my presence. No, I can’t give up my pursuit of happyness. I have to keep writing, keep designing a few websites here and a few websites there to put food in my stomach, and to feed my daughter.
I’m on the streets with 30 dollars to my name, a hungry six year old, no car and a bus pass. I search for a wireless connection to connect with friends, No family because my aunt who birth my beast of a cousin laughed at me, I now know where he gets it from. My mother fresh off losing a husband is close to being on the streets herself. So no I have no family to turn too, just friends, and admirers of my writing. One person on twitter offered me her couch, I’m not even sure if she’s in my state. I might be headed back to NJ in a direct violation of my probation for a crime I did not commit. All odds are against me but my insides tell me that I am doing the right thing, that I’ll be alright on a friends floor, an associates couch, or a sleezy hotel room with free high speed. No I will not give up my pursuit of happyness.
I have been humbled to the fullest, in the midst of numerous accolades, recognition, and praise, I have nothing but a laptop and the will to feed my child.
If you can please help with a donation of any kind it will be greatly appreciated.
