Comments on: Shaq Stop Rapping And Go See Your Real Dad

By: tdu

tdu — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 04:57:08 +0000

EJToney, I agree with alot of what you have said. However, I fall into Shaq's category. My mother and father divorced when I was just 2 years old, and that was really the last time that I had a true relationship with him. As I got older and became more successful, I would here people tell me these outlandish stories about how if it wasn't for my father this and that…but how I always felt growing up is…where the hell is he!!!! My father, like your father, made alot of bad choices. He was basically in and out of jail my entire childhood. As a child, I wanted him around, but as I grew older, I realized how much I didn't need him. My father didn't come to my high school graduation, he wasn't there when I had his 1st grandchild, he wasn't there to see me graduate from college and he didn't attend my wedding…so I guess I'm at the point where I feel like he missed everything that was important to me…so why now??? What do I need you for now…

I wanted to inform you of my story so that I can tell you this. My sister and brother (all from the same father) tell me to get over it…they have forgiven him. They are much like you; however, I am entitled to grieve differently. Situations affect people differently and they have to act in a way that makes them feel better. I have had a few talks with my father, but I still am not ready to forgive him…Give Shaq time to come around…I know, you want to know how much time he needs, but I just told you that I am grown, married with a child and I still haven't come around. And if he chooses to never come around, well, that is his personal choice and he has every right to make that choice. I know for me, it truly hurts that the person who helped give me birth didn't make the proper choices to be in my life, so this alone makes me angry everytime I think about it. Now, we can say that his mother and stepfather stood in the way, but if I understand the story correctly, he was in jail the 1st 15 years. It may have been easier for you to forgive your dad than Shaq, but you have to feel some sort of sympathy for your brother. What it all boils down to is hurt…he's sincerely hurt and honestly, you can't blame him. I've been praying for myself for the last 2 years that I learn to forgive my father, I hope the same is true for Shaq. However, one thing that I notice is there are alot of blogs and you tube videos dissing Shaq and makng excuses for your father. I don't think that is cool @ all. Your father did what he did…No excuses!!! The same goes for my father and @ times I hear so many people saying I need to forgive him and not enough people acknowledging what he did wrong. They just think I should forget…yeah right!!! I think if you want to have a relationship with your brother, you have to acknowledge the harm your father has done and not judge Shaq for making the decision to not speak to him…he does this only out of pain.

Not here to judge, just ran across this and I wanted to give you a real response…I'm not on the outside looking in…believe me, I live this situation everyday…I hope everything in the end works out for the best.

By: EJToney

EJToney — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 00:23:48 +0000

This is Emanuel J Toney, Joseph Toney's son “Manny”. All i can say is yes my dad has made mistakes in his past, but that shouldn't be held against his future. And like you said there is more then just one side to a story. Personally, to me there's everybodies story and then the truth. There's a difference between leaving your child and having them taken away from you. When my father was sent to prison around the time Shaq was little, he was blocked contact with Shaq by his (used to be best friend) Phillip Harrison who married Shaqs mother, and then moved them halfway across the world to – Germany via the army. I'm pretty sure that Shaq hasn't mentioned in his book that my dad, Lucille (Shaqs mom) & Phil all used indulge in drugs together and commit crimes together. However, my dad was the only one who was jailed because of his actions. Phil & My dad were best friends. I applaud him for stepping in when my dad was sent to prison but to totally block contact all of Shaq's life is totally wrong. I'm also pretty sure that Shaq didnt mention in his book that Phil sent bodyguards to my dads job to try to jump him & intimidate him from coming to a game in Shaqs hometown Newark, NJ – a game my dad had tickets to. My dad has tried all his life to make ammends with Shaq. My dad even sent letters to Shaq while in prison but to no avvail had his attempts blocked – and received returned to sender by noone else then Phil Harrison. Or did Shaq mention in his book how he refused to see his biological grandmother (the woman who named him) on her death bed – when her only dying wish was to see Shaq one last time. My dad does not want one cent from Shaq as he has mentioned time after time. All my dad wants is for Shaq to at least have a repore with the rest of his family including me his brother. You do not know what it is like growing up all your life & having a famous brother, & not being able to see them or meet them. It has nothing to do with money but relationships. So to insist my dad wants something other then that is truly a lie and makes me wonder about your source of information. So please learn all the facts before you decide to cast judgement lest you be judged yourself Liz.

But to bigshorty, thanks for truly speaking on the character of my father Joe Toney. Today is his birthday and I was just perusing online and I saw this and just had to comment. My dad has made so many improvements in his life and I am truly proud of him. He has done an excellent job raising me as I am 21yr old senior college student at the University of Memphis – who has been out of trouble all his life & who is going to be very successful in life. I have truly learned from my dads mistakes and Shaq should too as well. I dont have any ill feelings to any of my family including Shaq or anyone because that is not the way God intends us to be. Holding all that hurt, pain, shunning and resentment in to people is not good for you – it takes a toll on you after so many yrs trust me I know. Forgiveness is the only way to truly be through tribulation & trials and those who hurt you.

By: Club Penguin

Club Penguin — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:11:23 +0000

He was honest about his past and he was well qualified to help and guide the youth living the street life in NYC and North Jersey. Emannuel or “Manny” as we called him, was about 3 or 4 years old then.

By: Liz

Liz — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:42:26 +0000

This article is outrageous. It show one side (Joe's side). As an adopted military brat myself, I understand where Shaq is coming from. I believe that it is a privilege, not a right for someone who has given up their child to be in their life when they get older. Shaq does not owe him or any siblings a thing. I have a 1/2 sister who tried to use me after wet met in adulthood. My biological family is notorious and I've decided that my real family is my adopted family. I am offended when my biological family doesn't respect my decision. i do not owe them a thing. Where were they when I was growing up? It's convenient to lay blame and say “i didn't know where they were” but as a natural parent, you have rights and in Shaq's book he tells how he visted Joe when he was about 9. Shaq's biological father will have to work just like any other man out in the U.S. This article suggests that Shaq owes him for being related…total BS. How dare you discredit Shaq's real father, Phil for guiding him into the star he became. He's the one who raised him and will enjoy a nice retirement from his son Shaq….not Joe. Read Shaq's book and shut up.

By: bigshorty

bigshorty — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 10:36:23 +0000

It's good to see Joe Toney is doing well living and raising his family. I used to work with Joe at Covenant House(the runaway shelter for youth in Manhattan) in the early 90's. Joe was a good dude and he taught me alot during my time there. Joe Toney never talked or bragged about Shaquille being his son, to my knowledge he never mentioned it to anyone of his co-workers, he was just a humble dude who was always ready to help anyone he could. He was honest about his past and he was well qualified to help and guide the youth living the street life in NYC and North Jersey. Emannuel or “Manny” as we called him, was about 3 or 4 years old then; hopefully Shaquille will connect with his siblings and find it in his heart to reconcile with his biological father. Joe has paid his dues for his past and has successfully turned his life around.