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Shaq Stop Rapping And Go See Your Real Dad
Posted in Entertainment, Life on 24. Jun, 2008
Dear Shaquille,
While you were on stage asking Kobe how your a$$ tastes, Joseph Toney, was getting ready to punch in to his job at the Goodwill Home and Mission. Yes, your REAL father picks up baked good from businesses and delivers them to shelters, churches, and mission homes. The man works for the people and you won’t even see go see him. Apparently you hold on to ridiculous grudges and fail to take responsibility for actions blaming Kobe for your divorce. Your father has somethings he wants you to hear.
“I don’t know what he heard, but it’s not all true,” Toney said. “He’s being brainwashed. Because he has money, more people listen to him. I don’t necessarily blame him for thinking what he does. If I saw a story of a poor man reaching out to his millionaire estranged son, I’d think the same. It’s not hard to believe that. But it’s not true.
“He’s got a good public relations team. I don’t want any of his money. It’s the real deal so help me God. I just want him to know me and his brothers. I have two sons, Joseph Mitchell Owens and Emmanuel Toney, and Shaq has never met them. If I was the worst father in the world, that shouldn’t stop him from seeing his blood relatives. But I sent letters to him, and got back bogus letters.”
I remember when I met your dad, he was wearing a red suit, the tallest man in the room oozing with charisma and charm. His smile was huge and you could tell he was happy with life. I didn’t speak to him other than hello, shaking his hand with a firm grip and kept it moving. While most thing he ran out on Shaq, thats not all true, Shaq’s mother Lucille met PHIL only after Joe was locked up for fraudulent checks, embezzlement, and drug possession.
“Lucille and I were doing the same thing. I did coke with her. Whatever money we made off the checks, it was our money. But when the authorities came, I didn’t want our six-month old baby to be put in a foster home, so I took all the hits. The press plays games. I didn’t run away or desert her. I had to serve my time.”
When he was released from prison, he didn’t understand the world around him, by this time he has no clue where Lucille and Shaq were, “If I was in his life when I was going through my troubles, he probably would have turned out poorly, and I wouldn’t have wanted that.” Toney said “I remember sitting with friends and watching the McDonalds High School All-Star game, and hearing my son’s name the name I gave him, even down to the spelling. I went ‘Oh my gosh” I’ve been around the family, they are the most down to earth group of people I’ve ever met in my life. I am honored to have a connection to them, and even if your father was the worst person in the world… He’s still your Dad, and the family you’ve cut off are still your family. Pay them a visit, you don’t have to pay them a dime.
It's good to see Joe Toney is doing well living and raising his family. I used to work with Joe at Covenant House(the runaway shelter for youth in Manhattan) in the early 90's. Joe was a good dude and he taught me alot during my time there. Joe Toney never talked or bragged about Shaquille being his son, to my knowledge he never mentioned it to anyone of his co-workers, he was just a humble dude who was always ready to help anyone he could. He was honest about his past and he was well qualified to help and guide the youth living the street life in NYC and North Jersey. Emannuel or “Manny” as we called him, was about 3 or 4 years old then; hopefully Shaquille will connect with his siblings and find it in his heart to reconcile with his biological father. Joe has paid his dues for his past and has successfully turned his life around.
This article is outrageous. It show one side (Joe's side). As an adopted military brat myself, I understand where Shaq is coming from. I believe that it is a privilege, not a right for someone who has given up their child to be in their life when they get older. Shaq does not owe him or any siblings a thing. I have a 1/2 sister who tried to use me after wet met in adulthood. My biological family is notorious and I've decided that my real family is my adopted family. I am offended when my biological family doesn't respect my decision. i do not owe them a thing. Where were they when I was growing up? It's convenient to lay blame and say “i didn't know where they were” but as a natural parent, you have rights and in Shaq's book he tells how he visted Joe when he was about 9. Shaq's biological father will have to work just like any other man out in the U.S. This article suggests that Shaq owes him for being related…total BS. How dare you discredit Shaq's real father, Phil for guiding him into the star he became. He's the one who raised him and will enjoy a nice retirement from his son Shaq….not Joe. Read Shaq's book and shut up.
He was honest about his past and he was well qualified to help and guide the youth living the street life in NYC and North Jersey. Emannuel or “Manny” as we called him, was about 3 or 4 years old then.
This is Emanuel J Toney, Joseph Toney's son “Manny”. All i can say is yes my dad has made mistakes in his past, but that shouldn't be held against his future. And like you said there is more then just one side to a story. Personally, to me there's everybodies story and then the truth. There's a difference between leaving your child and having them taken away from you. When my father was sent to prison around the time Shaq was little, he was blocked contact with Shaq by his (used to be best friend) Phillip Harrison who married Shaqs mother, and then moved them halfway across the world to – Germany via the army. I'm pretty sure that Shaq hasn't mentioned in his book that my dad, Lucille (Shaqs mom) & Phil all used indulge in drugs together and commit crimes together. However, my dad was the only one who was jailed because of his actions. Phil & My dad were best friends. I applaud him for stepping in when my dad was sent to prison but to totally block contact all of Shaq's life is totally wrong. I'm also pretty sure that Shaq didnt mention in his book that Phil sent bodyguards to my dads job to try to jump him & intimidate him from coming to a game in Shaqs hometown Newark, NJ – a game my dad had tickets to. My dad has tried all his life to make ammends with Shaq. My dad even sent letters to Shaq while in prison but to no avvail had his attempts blocked – and received returned to sender by noone else then Phil Harrison. Or did Shaq mention in his book how he refused to see his biological grandmother (the woman who named him) on her death bed – when her only dying wish was to see Shaq one last time. My dad does not want one cent from Shaq as he has mentioned time after time. All my dad wants is for Shaq to at least have a repore with the rest of his family including me his brother. You do not know what it is like growing up all your life & having a famous brother, & not being able to see them or meet them. It has nothing to do with money but relationships. So to insist my dad wants something other then that is truly a lie and makes me wonder about your source of information. So please learn all the facts before you decide to cast judgement lest you be judged yourself Liz.
But to bigshorty, thanks for truly speaking on the character of my father Joe Toney. Today is his birthday and I was just perusing online and I saw this and just had to comment. My dad has made so many improvements in his life and I am truly proud of him. He has done an excellent job raising me as I am 21yr old senior college student at the University of Memphis – who has been out of trouble all his life & who is going to be very successful in life. I have truly learned from my dads mistakes and Shaq should too as well. I dont have any ill feelings to any of my family including Shaq or anyone because that is not the way God intends us to be. Holding all that hurt, pain, shunning and resentment in to people is not good for you – it takes a toll on you after so many yrs trust me I know. Forgiveness is the only way to truly be through tribulation & trials and those who hurt you.
EJToney, I agree with alot of what you have said. However, I fall into Shaq's category. My mother and father divorced when I was just 2 years old, and that was really the last time that I had a true relationship with him. As I got older and became more successful, I would here people tell me these outlandish stories about how if it wasn't for my father this and that…but how I always felt growing up is…where the hell is he!!!! My father, like your father, made alot of bad choices. He was basically in and out of jail my entire childhood. As a child, I wanted him around, but as I grew older, I realized how much I didn't need him. My father didn't come to my high school graduation, he wasn't there when I had his 1st grandchild, he wasn't there to see me graduate from college and he didn't attend my wedding…so I guess I'm at the point where I feel like he missed everything that was important to me…so why now??? What do I need you for now…
I wanted to inform you of my story so that I can tell you this. My sister and brother (all from the same father) tell me to get over it…they have forgiven him. They are much like you; however, I am entitled to grieve differently. Situations affect people differently and they have to act in a way that makes them feel better. I have had a few talks with my father, but I still am not ready to forgive him…Give Shaq time to come around…I know, you want to know how much time he needs, but I just told you that I am grown, married with a child and I still haven't come around. And if he chooses to never come around, well, that is his personal choice and he has every right to make that choice. I know for me, it truly hurts that the person who helped give me birth didn't make the proper choices to be in my life, so this alone makes me angry everytime I think about it. Now, we can say that his mother and stepfather stood in the way, but if I understand the story correctly, he was in jail the 1st 15 years. It may have been easier for you to forgive your dad than Shaq, but you have to feel some sort of sympathy for your brother. What it all boils down to is hurt…he's sincerely hurt and honestly, you can't blame him. I've been praying for myself for the last 2 years that I learn to forgive my father, I hope the same is true for Shaq. However, one thing that I notice is there are alot of blogs and you tube videos dissing Shaq and makng excuses for your father. I don't think that is cool @ all. Your father did what he did…No excuses!!! The same goes for my father and @ times I hear so many people saying I need to forgive him and not enough people acknowledging what he did wrong. They just think I should forget…yeah right!!! I think if you want to have a relationship with your brother, you have to acknowledge the harm your father has done and not judge Shaq for making the decision to not speak to him…he does this only out of pain.
Not here to judge, just ran across this and I wanted to give you a real response…I'm not on the outside looking in…believe me, I live this situation everyday…I hope everything in the end works out for the best.
Your next article should be a top 10 group with the pluses and minuses of every one
I’ve read this entire blog and can understand things from all sides. As a matter of fact, I’m a father in a similiar situation. Different but similiar.
In my case, my son’s mother used me to get pregnant (she later admitted it and apologized for some crazy acts to “make [herself] pregnant with [my] sperm”). As she put it, I was a “reluctant sperm donor.” Back then, I was a pre-medical student, working full-time to put myself through school and happened to make a responsible choice of spending a very brief amount of time with her (we went to the same college). She new upfront I didn’t want a kid or anything physical…but she came up with a plan and suckered me into it. Much later, she tried to use the pregnancy as a means to propose marriage…but we didn’t have any feelings there…so I agreed to man-up and take care of my responsibilities. After that, she tried to cut me out of the pic and name someone else as the dad. She made the choice to leave my name off the birth certificate. When I tried to press the issue with the family, they said the baby already had a daddy & they’d call the cops on me if I contacted them again. The State Dept of Vital records said I was not listed on the baby’s BC & had no rights to access his info.
Fast forward: Around that same time, I was on my way to medical school and decided to serve my country instead. Yes, I became a military officer. About four years after that, I was brought into court by her (apparently the other baby’s “father” wasn’t in the pic anymore), & paid for a test which established me as the biological father. After that, she began harrassing & threatening and acting crazy because I was already engaged to someone else. Needless to say, I broke off contact with her. Since that time, I’ve tried to establish/build a relationship with my son. I’ve paid over $70K in child support & insurance & have gained the support of my entire family in welcoming my son into our lives. Evenso, his attitude remains that same as his mom (pissed off, disrespectful, and angry). His mother has taught him to hate (because her “pregnancy trap” didn’t work as she planned) even though I’ve been there for him. Of course I would never marry his mother (gold digger). But I’ve tried to explain how he came into this world (he’s now 14.5 y/o & old enough to understand things now)…and I’ve acknowledged his right to feel angry (he’s mad at her too, now). That DOES NOT GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO BE DISRESPECTFUL. Yes, kids are damaged when this kind of process goes on…they are the REAL VICTIMS. They are the ones who suffer most. I’m still trying to provide for my son & secure his future (whether that’s through college, business, or a trade)…and I’m still dealing with his “scorned” mother–which makes it 100 times tougher. Sometimes parents suffer as much if not more than the kids (I bet Shaq’s dad always had a whole in his heart…just like MANY parents who give up their kids for adoption do). SHAQ, stop hating and learn to resolve those feelings…YOU DON’T have to be involved in your dad’s life…but you should continue to set a good example for your OWN kids by showing them the awesome responsibility of being a real man and a real father (reach out to your other family when YOU ARE READY). Read the story of Willie Brown (the high profile political leader) & see how his dad never did nothing for him…yet Willie Brown cared for his dad & eventually had to burry him when he became much older. Strength & Honor!!!
Wonderful Morning, Good incorrect these days, specially from the major news corperations with the big slants to the left or right. Did you see last nights O’Rielly factor? haha, that was rediculous! Sorry, I’m rambling along once again. Have a Great 1!