An Ode To The Alcoholics
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It’s Friday, many of us will be drunk tonight if we are not drunk already. So to celebrity being inebriated I decided to drop this post on the Urban drunks you may or may not come across and what to do when you encounter them.
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The Stoop Wino – This is the guy or group of men who sit outside on their stoop, b/c there aren’t many porches in Urban America. They usually start drinking around 11am, as soon as the liquor store opens. They normally haven no job yet always find money for alcohol. They are loud, obnoxious and always asking for spare change. Remarkably people continue to give them change. The stoop wino is not to be confused with this guy.
The Club Drunk – This girl or guy is always in the club talking out the side of their face. They are the “Bitch you ain’t shit”, or “nigga you ain’t shit” screamers. They often wake up with an extreme hangover, next to some stranger and they have no clue what happened the night before.
The Happy Hour Drunk – This is the person who Mon-Fri is the nicest person in your office. But as soon as Friday rolls around it’s straight, F*ck you Mother F*ckers… Think Bunk & McNulty from The Wire.
The Brown Drunk – This is for all the Henny, Cognac, and brandy drinkers of the world. I’m sure the hair on your chest is proud.
The White Drunk – To all my vodka drinkers… What UP!!! This is the long island iced tea drinkers , goose and cranberry people of the world. We keep is casual and hold it down in the club. Bottles up.
Remember Don’t Drink & Drive.
