An Ode To The Alcoholics
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It’s Friday, many of us will be drunk tonight if we are not drunk already. So to celebrity being inebriated I decided to drop this post on the Urban drunks you may or may not come across and what to do when you encounter them.
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The Stoop Wino - This is the guy or group of men who sit outside on their stoop, b/c there aren’t many porches in Urban America. They usually start drinking around 11am, as soon as the liquor store opens. They normally haven no job yet always find money for alcohol. They are loud, obnoxious and always asking for spare change. Remarkably people continue to give them change. The stoop wino is not to be confused with this guy.
The Club Drunk - This girl or guy is always in the club talking out the side of their face. They are the “Bitch you ain’t shit”, or “nigga you ain’t shit” screamers. They often wake up with an extreme hangover, next to some stranger and they have no clue what happened the night before.
The Happy Hour Drunk - This is the person who Mon-Fri is the nicest person in your office. But as soon as Friday rolls around it’s straight, F*ck you Mother F*ckers… Think Bunk & McNulty from The Wire.
The Brown Drunk - This is for all the Henny, Cognac, and brandy drinkers of the world. I’m sure the hair on your chest is proud.
The White Drunk - To all my vodka drinkers… What UP!!! This is the long island iced tea drinkers , goose and cranberry people of the world. We keep is casual and hold it down in the club. Bottles up.
Remember Don’t Drink & Drive.
h a y e s
Says:
lol the club drunk is also the one most likely to get slapped the fvck out!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 11:51 am
Jay Midnyte
Says:
I find it funny they say don’t drink and drive but they got drive thru liquor stores
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 11:54 am
BlogXilla
Says:
You seem like you might Smack someone at the blink of an eye.
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Arjae
Says:
I like the brown and the white….but thank goodness I don’t have chest hair…LMAO And I’m smart enough not to mix….I proudly segregate my liquors!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
sugamama
Says:
I choose the white drunk!!!!!! Brown liqour tends to make me act like I have NO sense!!! Dancing on tables, whispering bad thigns to people!! It can end up getting PRETTY serious!!!!! So since you brought it up, pour me a raspberry vodka, (stoli) with tonic and extra lime!!!! TGIF!!!!!!!!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:17 pm
h a y e s
Says:
hm. it’s possible. thanks for noticing.
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
h a y e s
Says:
sugamama i need u to NOT be whisperin in ppl ear lolol
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
J. Lewis
Says:
Sugamama you can whisper sweet nothings in my ear all ya want lol
*pulls out dark la-core*
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:27 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
NO Problem Hayes… I still knwo what you did last summer. mmmhmmm
J. Lewis , get it playa… Incredible Hulks..
Sugamama - Yes Dark la core ain’t all that bad… lol wink
Arjae, I tend to stay away from Dark unless its henny.
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
h a y e s
Says:
..whatever Xilla.
J. Lewis.. LMAO!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 12:33 pm
sugamama
Says:
I am 100% sure what I am whispering is NOT sweet!!! LOL!!!! Henny = the devil Xilla!!!! Keep it away from me. ROTFL!!!!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 1:06 pm
mzvirgo
Says:
Hee hee, I like my Absolut or Grey Goose, thank you very much. I can’t do the Hennessey, especially when it’s mixed with Hypotiq (Incredible Hulk). I know someone who mixed Red Bull with Henny, I was like, you must be out of your mind!
I used to bartend for like a year and white people LOVE that Jaegermeister. That shyt is NASTY! And they also love that mixed with Red Bull. They mix Red Bull with anything these days……don’t get it at all.
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 2:16 pm
J. Lewis
Says:
@ Sugamama is ain’t got to be sweet as long as you whispering lol
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 2:30 pm
sugamama
Says:
RED BULL and Grape VODKA is my SH!T!!!!!!!! I was drinking that on St. Patty’s day and on my first drink I could tell Someone was going to jail that night!!! Sure enough, my cousin WENT TO JAIL!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!! BTW, I am 1/2 white!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!
Only ONE problem with mixing redbull, you cant fall asleep when you get home! You are drunk, but HYPER!!!! IDK if thats good or bad??!!??
Now a white liquor I CANT drink!! KETEL 1! I act like a HOT mess, crying and feeling sorry for everything and everyone!! HA HA!!!!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Lauren
Says:
I guess Im the white drunk.lol. My drink is Red Bull+ Anything clear. The only dark liquor I do mess w/is Remy VSOP or Crown.
You forgot one tho;I wouldn’t know what to categorize it as tho…..I have my auntie in mind. You know;that auntie(or uncle)that everybody got. The loud,ghetto,obnoxious,CRAZY,embarrasing one that has to have her 6pack of bull,pack of Kool 100’s,and blunt to survive the day.lolololoolol
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 3:53 pm
J. Lewis
Says:
When I goet drunk I just laugh and yell out: HIT ME UP ON MYSPACE!!!!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 4:06 pm
J. Lewis
Says:
get not goet
damn i be having mad typos today
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
mstrouble
Says:
I really good drink is Absolute Pear, Cranberry juice, and Pineapple juice. It’s so tropical!
Posted on March 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
mzvirgo
Says:
@ Sugarmama, Red Bull is a stimulant. So when they are mixing a stimulant with alcohol, yes you will be hyper and drunk LOL. But seriously, I think someone can die like that.
The most ghetto drink I know, someone was mixing E & J with Kool Aid….LOL
Posted on March 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 am
Rebecca
Says:
I am the white drunk it fits since I am half russian … omg i had patron for the first time in this past feb… omg just omg.. but give me devil’s springs anytime woohoo…. and white zinfandel i do enjoy my box of wine ..yes thats the white in me….
Posted on March 23rd, 2008 at 2:03 am
MzVirgo.com - Fall In Love With The Blogtender Says:
[...] What type of drunk are you?……..(Blogxilla.com) [...]
Posted on March 24th, 2008 at 7:45 am
chrissy snow
Says:
what up xilla!
i am most def a white drunk, goose is my poison, BUT i drink it straight sometimes no ice even… just 2 and 3 shots back to back maybe more depending on the day, and scenario , no cranberrry, fucks up the buzz if you add the juice……lol….
Posted on March 24th, 2008 at 9:53 am
circa-81
Says:
I think I go back & forth between light and dark. If it’s light you know it’s the goose or patron. If it’s dark Henny or Rum (rum if I’m broke). Has anybody tried any of the cognac XO’s?
Posted on March 25th, 2008 at 9:54 am