If you don’t know this kid, then you need to get to know him, his comments are off the chain and his intellect is unmatched. Now you can read his thoughts on Partying White. Introducing J. Lewis

Unlimited Alcohol- When you go to a white person’s party they have all the alcohol you want and need. Soon as you walk in the door the Lil Wayne signature red plastic cups are waiting for you and they are so generous with the alcohol. They’re like, “what’s mine is yours buddy!” Now at a black person’s party they got a fifth of Henny and Remy and it’s probably going to be all gone before you arrive at the party.
.

Games- White people parties have games such as beer pong to speed up your journey to drunkenness. At a black party they just have shoot out games which turns into a track meet to see who can mimic Carl Lewis in order to win the right to continue living.
.

No fighting- At white people’s parties there are rarely any fights. White people are too focused on being happy and getting drunk to fight. Even if there is a fight you ain’t got to worry about a shoot out afterwards, (leave the bullet-proof vest at home), however you might end up on you tube w/ your eyebrows shaved and a hot dog stuck in your ass. Plus you still can get some p*ssy on the go at the end of the night.
.

White Girls- Yes, I said it! I got full blown jungle fever…white girls + alcohol = a good ass time! You’re bound to see some titties or some girl on girl action. No need to buy some “Girls Gone Wild” DVD when you can see it at your local white party. Plus white girls always curious about the black myth so you might get lucky. Just make sure you make her sign a contract of consent. Don’t want nobody getting Kobe’d.

Now of course there are some cons to going to a white person’s party:

Token Black Person- When the latest dance track (ex: Crank Dat, Cha Cha Slide) comes on the white people will automatically think you know how to do it and ask you to teach everyone… EVERYONE!!! You gotta let them know that this is not “Darren’s Dance Moves”, go on with that, you messing up my buzz, and Becky and I are about to get busy.

Dumb Questions- As much as I love white folks sometimes they ask dumb questions like, “How come ya’ll can say the n-word but we can’t?” Because I said so mofo, that’s why. I don’t want to send anybody to a hospital tonight, let’s move forward amicably.

J. Lewis