Kanye & Alexis - How To Feed Your Man
_
_
.
Let’s face it some male urbanites are oral not-z’s. They want to sit back, get head and never take a trip downtown. I won’t lie I myself am guilty of this, while in the city of Atlanta I was with this girl who game me dome so good, it made the Astrodome look like a little league field and to this day I never put my mouth on her. But ladies I’m here to give you a bit of knowledge to get the tongue spanking you deserve right on time for the weekend rush.
Cosmo says 63% of women say they are not getting the dome they deserve and well that’s just sad. Here is what you should do the next time you want to become desert.
Demand It
Most urban females are comfortable with their sexuality, they’re willing to try new things and don’t need much time to decide if they want “the pipe”. Yet they are often closed mouthed when they have a mouthful and don’t demand that the favor gets returned. Here is what I suggest ask for it, and don’t just ask but demand. In the heat of the moment seductively tell him to go down on you. Use the swagger that most urbanites possess. Hell start singing Akynele if you have to, or break out a line of your favorite flick, but 9 times out of 10 a man isn’t going to eat if we don’t have to.
Promote It but Not Like Don King
I know most men don’t trim their pubes, but that doesn’t mean you should introduce your man to Don King as soon as the panties come off. Trim it up nice, use Nair, or go bald. We are visual beings and being able to see that lips just scream “Kiss me I’m Irish!” Well maybe not Irish but you’ll be 10 times to be punch drunk in oral bliss if you’re BBTB [Bald Below The Border]
Do Unto Others
It’s pretty safe to say that putting your hand on the back of a females head and pushing down is a no-no and will get you cursed out. But men on the other hand are freaks, he might like that, We don’t think anything is wrong with “forcing the issue” so force us to do it, he’ll be so turned on you are getting aggressive that he’ll punish you with a tongue spanking for being such a naughty girl.
Men Are Stupid
If all else fails trick him into going down. Men love competition so challenge him to a match of monopoly, Halo or cards. You can play for sexual favors. I once played chess for head. Invoking the compete card is a risking move because men love to win, so if you lose you might be doing the Bay area booty drop on the cock, faster than you can say “Mr. Marcus take that hat off I’m a laaadddyyyy”
‘Now if you’re successful and you find out the reason dude never went down on you is because he doesn’t know how to eat… then e-mail his my guide to eating it like it’s a bag of skittles.
circa-81
Says:
I agree with you totally on the comment about the pubes. If a chicks ‘v’ is bushy I ain’t putting my tongue near it. And after I hit I will let em’ know next time bring it ‘grown & sexy’ or no play at all. I don’t do prima donna’s.
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:03 am
BlogXilla
Says:
I feel you Circa, I tell this story bout this model chick i messed w/ who has a bush! its was the worst thing i seen’t in my life!!!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:11 am
circa-81
Says:
Plus some chick’s might got a strong ’scent’ and that’s just like….yuck. I read on Womens Health that their diet can fix that though. Yea, I know I read Womens Health, but I study these bitches. Mentally and physically. Got to get up pretty early in the morning to get one over on Ol’ Circa-Circa.
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:20 am
J. Lewis
Says:
Good topic! I was always the kneegrow that said I would NEVER go downtown. I lived by that commandment: THOU SHALL NOT GO DOWNTOWN UNLESS IT’S IN A CAR, LITERALLY!!!!
I had my first encounter last year. Not that I wanted to but just because she kept naggin’ me about plus she did go down on me a few times. So I was like let me stop being selfish and at least give it a try once. I mean it was okay but she LOVED it. I had her moanin’ like Halle Berry in ‘Monster’s Ball’: MAKE ME FEEL GOOOOOOD MAKE–ME–FEEL—GOOD!
So I’m more open to going downtown but it might take a while, I’m definitely just not going to go down within the first month unless we get some test ran…ya dig. After that I’ll eat it up like an all-you-can eat chinese buffet!!! Also I feel ya on shaving that cat cause I’m anti-Bush (George Bush, Reggie Bush, hairy bush). To add to that list make sure that cat is clean I’m will not go down if it smells like the seafood section at a grocery store.
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:26 am
mzvirgo
Says:
So what if you have gotten checked out, trimmed it, waxed it and Summer Eve’d it and the man still doesn’t want to go down? He just wants you to go down on him and he just doesn’t believe in going down AT ALL?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:40 am
circa-81
Says:
@ Virgo
Then get rid of the lame, and let em’ know you only deal wit men.
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 9:46 am
PUSSYCATFUN
Says:
OK, LETS SEE…..
DEMAND IT:
BE CAREFUL WITH THAT BECAUSE SOME DUDES TAKE SHIT THE WRONG WAY SO IF YOU TRY TO “DEMAN” IT YOU MAKE SURE YOU USE YOUR “PLAYFUL” VOICE BECAUSE HE’LL TELL YOU TO HAUL ASS AND THEN STEP OFF THEN YOUR LEFT GOING INTO YOUR “SECRET” SPOT PULLING OUT THAT DUSY DILDO WITH NO BATTERIES!
THE “DON KING”:
YES, NO MAN WANTS TO GO ON A “FISHY SAFARI” TO FIND THE PUSSY!
KEEP IT NEAT PLUS IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER AFTER YOU GET A BRAZILIAN WAX YOU GO HOME TAKE A SHOWER AND THE SOAP SUDS SLIDE DOWN YOU COOCHIE FEELING SMOOTH AND SOFT TO THE TOUCH THEN AFTER YOU GET OUT THE SHOWER DRY OFF AND PAT SOME BABY POWDER ON YOU NEWLY WAXED COOCHIE…..
DAMN THAT FEELS GOOD SO IMADGEN HOW IT WOULD FEEL IF DUDE PUT HIS WARM SLIPPERY TOUNGE ON IT!
DO UNTO OTHERS:
DO NOT PUSH DUDE HEAD UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET KNOCKED OUT OR HE LIKES IT!
SOME DUDES DON’T MIND BUT, MAKE SURE HE’S “THAT” DUDE!
“TRICK HIM?”
WELL I DON’T BUT, THE DUDES I KNOW WON’T FALL FOR THE “OKEY DOKE” YOU’LL JUST BE “PLAYING” YOUR SELF UNLESS YOU MAKE A “BET” WITH HIM WELL, THAT’S ANOTHER STORY
LADIES….MOST GUYS DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELOL THEY ARE DOING “DOWN THERE” ANY HOW.. YOU END UP BEING DISAPPOINTED IN THE END.
YOUR LAYING THERE WHILE HIS MOUTH IS ALL OVER YOUR COOCHIE AND YOUR NOT FEELING SHIT SO YOU TURN YOUR HEAD OVER TOWARDS THE T.V. WHILE HE’S LICKING YOUR “CAT” WATCHING “FLAVOR OF LOVE” AND WHEN HE’S DONE HE LOOK AT YOU AS IF HE DID SOMETHING BIG YOU GET YOU PUT YOUR PANTIES BACK ON AND GO MAKE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT!
THAT’S WHAT I DID TO THIS DUDE YEARS AGO… HE WAS SO WACK!
I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE AND BEFORE HE COULD GET THE REST OF HIS FOOT OUT THE DOOR I’VE ALREADY SLAMMED THE DOOR ON IT!
ROTFLMMFBAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am
h a y e s
Says:
LMAO!
ah.. the thing i love the most :] thas my SHIT!
funny thing is i’ve never had to ask, trick.. or nothing.. niggas just WANTED to. and i love it sooo much i won’t fuxk wid nobody who don’t do it.. and if they say they don’t betta know they GONNA fxckin wit me! lol Xilla, member the dude i was tellin u bout yesterday that slapped me when he has lost his mind.. yeah him.. i put him on and and after that it was like sometimes that ALL he wanted to do and did not want it in return.. and hey i wasn’t complainin. and he’d BRAG about the shit to his boys so then they’d be tryna get at me.. so then like EVERYBODY knew that.. THAS MY SHIT!
LMAO reminds me.. in high school we had got on that topic and this one nigga was like “pussy taste like pennies”… UHM.. i’ma need YOU to stop puttin yo tongue on a female who shit taste like pennies and think IT’S OK!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 11:18 am
h a y e s
Says:
Morning Xilla!
& J.Lewis.. my supervisor gone! say all the funnies ya want! LMAO @ the anti bush!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
BlogXilla
Says:
Sup Hayes how are yo udoing? Good i hope yea i would do you no doubt!!! lol no questions asked!!! lol
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am
J. Lewis
Says:
Aight Hayes…I ain’t want to get you fired or nothin lol
What it do Xilla?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 11:46 am
h a y e s
Says:
J. Lewis.. the day i aint got no job here aint NOBODY got no job here! nope!
Xilla- you HUSH! LOL! you’re too much!! i’m good though. you?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 11:57 am
J. Lewis
Says:
LOL Hayes…don’t shoot up the place, leave that to the other folks (nah-meen)
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
Yea Hayes we wouldn’t want to see you on cnn looking like James Brown’s mug shot!!! lol I hate to scream on this lady today b/c she brings a knife to work that ain’t right!!! shes not stable. she’s one of them
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Lauren
Says:
I think I am the only female alive that does not really enjoy getting head.I get offers all the damn time(lol) but most of the time Im like naw;that’s ok!!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
h a y e s
Says:
LMAO! i just had to TAKE OFF on this lil boy..
omg.. i just had to leave the room.
we had back up calls in que and i stood up to get somethin this bitch ass fool SLEEP.. with a caller in his ear so i’m tryna wake him all quiet so the head boss don’t hear me finally had to get loud cuz he was NOT gettin up.. why this fool got MAD at me!..
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
h a y e s
Says:
Lauren.. you just hurt my HEART! we.. we had so much in common! ..i’m so hurt! look i’ma send my ex round yo house .. whas the address?? lol then come back and lemme know whas good!
[ sorry to get WAY off topic in that last comment Xilla .. ]
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Lauren
Says:
lolololol;sorry Hayes!! Hmm;maybe that is the problem;I haven’t had any one who really really knew what the hell they was doing!Going down there and licking every damn thing but the clit!Wtf??? Cept;this one nigga…damn…..if eating pussy was a major in college he would mos def graduate at the top of his class!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
h a y e s
Says:
LMAO! @ lauren! i had one like that.. *flashbacks* i swear.. THAS MY SHIT!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
HI Lauren Im bout to be able to chill and hang out for a while if y’all still here what’s good?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
h a y e s
Says:
LOL finally.. present in ya own blog! lol
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
all day!! lol I’m at work they had us in meetings all morning what im iss you having flash backs?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
bLaqK Ink
Says:
Yes Xilla I just printed this out for my girl.
She just came back from London and picked up an sexy foreginer over there. But she says that London Guys don’t do Oral like the American Men do. WTF. I would break up right then and there.
Hopefully she can put some of these tactics to use…Everyone please pray for her and her girl not getting the attention deserved.
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
**praying** dear baby jebus please provide this nice young lady w/ some moral oral that will have her knees shaking like ali… Amen
how is that? Sup Blaqk?
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
h a y e s
Says:
LOL oooo nothing! ;]
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
you keeping stuff from me or are you having a moment? mmmhmmm I know how it be!! !lol
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
h a y e s
Says:
i’d NEVER Xilla how dare you!! lol.. catch up on the comments and you’ll SEE!
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
bLaqK Ink
Says:
LMAO Xilla
Yea that is good…hope it helps…Any men for London WTF is going on ????
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
BlogXilla
Says:
I have a meeting… Ill be back
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
h a y e s
Says:
annnd he’s off! again lol
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
J. Lewis
Says:
I have an ‘oral’ appointment in 30 minutes…i keed i keed
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
h a y e s
Says:
na you know you not kidding lol stop that
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Ms Kris
Says:
I’m making my appt to get the brazilian wax thing done- hurts like fuck but its the considerate thing to do- Afros—stubble and all that is a turn off….Oh and my man puts me in a coma on the regular with his head game- It’s my favorite!!!
But the key to taking it from ok to good to great is by being with the person for a while and you really get to know what they like. Ain’t nothing like being with some random as person and they horrible as hell- but its because they don’t know what you like…
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Hotsauce
Says:
Damn I always Miss the good conversations!!!
*crying*
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
sugamama
Says:
I am PISSED the fun blockers (IT GUYS) at work got me today!!!!!! They sent me an email, ” It is NOT ok to be on blog websites, yahoo messenger O myspace at work” I was like WTF?? Who is making up these rules!!!! This is MY favorite subject EVER in LIFE!!!!!
I am with Hayes on this, I have never had to TRICK PLEAD or BEG!!! Once a dude finds out I am BBTB [Bald Below The Border](XILLA I LOVE THAT, I am having a T shirt made up right now) He is usually asking me if he can take me to a little place I lkike to cal Domesville. So I like yes sir, I would like 2 tickets please!!!! HA HA
I have only been with ONE guy that “says” he dont give head, but he threw the SICKEST dick. So after he ate my pu$$y, LOL!!! I was like PLEASE dont ever do that to me, or anyone else in life!!! It was the GARBAGE!!!!!
Now with the brazilian, I dont do that, but I do use nair, it is PAINLESS and you dont have the amazon german lady strething your leg up and RIPPING all your pubic hair out. For some reason I cant get with it! Anyway, nair is where its at, they have a roll on and it takes about 5 minutes to get it all gone, jump in the shower and you can enjoy the LOVELY “SUDS SLIDE DOWN YOU COOCHIE FEELING SMOOTH AND SOFT TO THE TOUCH THEN AFTER YOU GET OUT THE SHOWER DRY OFF AND PAT SOME BABY POWDER ON YOU NEWLY WAXED COOCHIE…..” (PCF thank you!!!!! I thought I wa the only oe that enjoye that SO much)
I think if you push a mans head down there, he might think its okay to do it to you, now… thats not ALWAYS good. But everythings not for everybody.
And yes I agree, men are stupid! HA HA
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Simbarashe
Says:
Being the worldly brotha in this blog I have to make a slight correction to the misconception - cos I’ve been down on em ALL. Hair is okay as long as it’s on the top side. The FUNK comes from the shtz bein’ on the side and around the lips and all back to the crack… When chicks have the landing strip, It doesn’t really matter how much is on the top (within REASON ladies, REASON!!!!) as that’s not quite the damp fungusy area. That being said, I absolutely trip and shave, every guy should (you don’t have to shave it all) but one things for sure it definitely takes a lot more for me to get musty hairless. Obviously, the same rule that applies to why girls should shave applies to guys. When girls think you have a baby’s bottom they REALLY get into some kinky shit, lemmie tell ya…
Posted on February 29th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Special K
Says:
LOL U ARE THE WORST!!!
Posted on March 4th, 2008 at 4:06 am
Special K
Says:
LOL U ARE THE WORST!!! I thought I was about to read a blog about how Alexis got Ye lookin skinny as a greyhound because she’s isn’t feeding him at home! LOL (Boy was I wrong!!!) I love Kanye to death, but they both lookin a little “crackish” if you ask me… (but no one usually does) But you silly for this one…
Posted on March 4th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Benefits Of Eating Cat - Ludacris Honored — BlogXilla.com Says:
[...] Christopher “Ludacris” Bridges returned to his alma mater, Benjamin Bannekar High School in Atlanta yesterday as they renamed their gym ‘The Christopher Bridges Gym of Dreams‘ in his honor. Luda told Ryan Cameron they even retired the 69 Bannekar High Jersey from the What’s Your Fantasy Video. Just one of the benefits of Properly eating the coochie. Here are some more. [...]
Posted on May 13th, 2008 at 9:50 am
BlogXilla.com » Rihanna Knows How To Turn Chris Brown On Says:
[...] This tips works for men and women, Lick your lips, stare at the lower part of your lovers body and say “I can’t wait to taste it” After you’re done you can say o0o0o you taste like Skittles [...]
Posted on May 28th, 2008 at 8:27 am