Comments on: 10 Good Reasons The Independent Woman Is Single In Urban America. http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:01:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Secret http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-5668 Secret Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:04:03 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-5668 "Can No Man Do Anything For Me - Whether you’re rolling in the financial dough or not men like to be the providers. And if you don’t allow your man to do things for you, and at least act like he wears the pants in the relationship you’ll never be able to keep one. " In my experience as an Independent Single Woman, when dating men who may not make what I make financially, they were intimidated without me even saying it...A man knows when he see's a woman who has her stuff together. Not saying all men are this way, but just speaking on experience. It's not how much he makes, if he has a job then that's a plus!! Stability is a plus. You cannot deny that even though we are independent women, we still like for our men to play their roles as men! (i.e. Open doors, put it down in bed, respect us and all that makes us women, etc.). It's ok for independent women to allow their men to be there for us. I, in no way fall into any of the stereotypes that you have listed...However, I do have high standards and one of them is that if a man is an all around good dude...Please be a strong one!! No weak backbones allowed!! ALL strong, good, working, independent dudes are welcome in my book! “Can No Man Do Anything For Me - Whether you’re rolling in the financial dough or not men like to be the providers. And if you don’t allow your man to do things for you, and at least act like he wears the pants in the relationship you’ll never be able to keep one. ”

In my experience as an Independent Single Woman, when dating men who may not make what I make financially, they were intimidated without me even saying it…A man knows when he see’s a woman who has her stuff together. Not saying all men are this way, but just speaking on experience. It’s not how much he makes, if he has a job then that’s a plus!! Stability is a plus. You cannot deny that even though we are independent women, we still like for our men to play their roles as men! (i.e. Open doors, put it down in bed, respect us and all that makes us women, etc.). It’s ok for independent women to allow their men to be there for us.

I, in no way fall into any of the stereotypes that you have listed…However, I do have high standards and one of them is that if a man is an all around good dude…Please be a strong one!! No weak backbones allowed!!

ALL strong, good, working, independent dudes are welcome in my book!

]]> By: h a y e s http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4821 h a y e s Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:34:59 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4821 NOT that some of you are upset about this.. i guess we know who gon be sittin home with a big container of Ben & Jerry's. take it how ya wanna. NOT that some of you are upset about this..

i guess we know who gon be sittin home with a big container of Ben & Jerry’s.

take it how ya wanna.

]]> By: h a y e s http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4793 h a y e s Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:33:58 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4793 aww Thanks DBizzle :] aww Thanks DBizzle :]

]]> By: DBizzle http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4786 DBizzle Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:58:36 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4786 Amen, Amen!! Problem is, the women that this is speaking of will be offended by it and won't learn a thing from it. I don't knock a woman for setting her standards high and I do believe there are REAL men who can meet those standards. Only thing is, he is NOT going to meet them and be your everything, if you are not doing what he needs in the bedroom. Ya'll need to listen to Miss Beasley and h a y e s, sounds like they may be a good catch. Amen, Amen!! Problem is, the women that this is speaking of will be offended by it and won’t learn a thing from it. I don’t knock a woman for setting her standards high and I do believe there are REAL men who can meet those standards. Only thing is, he is NOT going to meet them and be your everything, if you are not doing what he needs in the bedroom. Ya’ll need to listen to Miss Beasley and h a y e s, sounds like they may be a good catch.

]]> By: BlogXilla http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4739 BlogXilla Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:36:49 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4739 Hi Kim, I'm sorry you took offense to the blog. It wasn't written about you. I do not write blogs to personally attack anyone. It's not my style. Hence the disclaimer. It was writting simple to open a debate between my readers. Some of these are true for some reason. I personally would love a independent woman who didn't have an attitude problem but 95% of the time that's what it takes for an independent woman to get to the point where she is independent. Thanks for your comment. Hi Kim, I’m sorry you took offense to the blog. It wasn’t written about you. I do not write blogs to personally attack anyone. It’s not my style. Hence the disclaimer. It was writting simple to open a debate between my readers. Some of these are true for some reason. I personally would love a independent woman who didn’t have an attitude problem but 95% of the time that’s what it takes for an independent woman to get to the point where she is independent.

Thanks for your comment.

]]> By: Kim http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4738 Kim Fri, 14 Mar 2008 02:45:39 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4738 What a bunch of crap. Did you ever think that perhaps some independent women are single because that's simply how they want to be? I'm single, own my own home, am raising my daughter and doing it on my own. And guess what, I'm happy this way! What a bunch of crap. Did you ever think that perhaps some independent women are single because that’s simply how they want to be? I’m single, own my own home, am raising my daughter and doing it on my own. And guess what, I’m happy this way!

]]> By: int'nl stells http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4152 int'nl stells Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:43:45 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-4152 ok blogxilla...I disagree w all of that being a independent gainful woman. i think men need to step their whole attitude up about women being able to handle themselves... ok blogxilla…I disagree w all of that being a independent gainful woman.
i think men need to step their whole attitude up about women being able to handle themselves…

]]> By: This Angel Is Up http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3948 This Angel Is Up Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:16:24 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3948 Well, hmmm interesting... 1) Someone always told me whatever you do to get the man; you do the same to keep him. 2) Everybody needs somebody and ladies if it's not a man then you fill in the balnks. It's not showing a sign of weakness it's a sign of two people coming together and making something happen(yes it's corny and sounds like a business but oh well). 3) Take break, breathe, man or woman cannot live by bread alone. but just like we stuck with you when you're were struggling and getting your thing together we expect the same from you. 4) As for the change: People change and you have to adjust but don't forget from hence you came. 5) As for giving it up: I'm not giving it up until I'm married. I went the other route and it didn't work for me. But to each is on. In the end it's all about COMMUNICATION AND COMPROMISING If you had talked all this out when getting to know each other in the first place then a whole lot of issues can be settled!!!!! Well, hmmm interesting…
1) Someone always told me whatever you do to get the man; you do the same to keep him.
2) Everybody needs somebody and ladies if it’s not a man then you fill in the balnks. It’s not showing a sign of weakness it’s a sign of two people coming together and making something happen(yes it’s corny and sounds like a business but oh well).
3) Take break, breathe, man or woman cannot live by bread alone. but just like we stuck with you when you’re were struggling and getting your thing together we expect the same from you.
4) As for the change: People change and you have to adjust but don’t forget from hence you came.
5) As for giving it up: I’m not giving it up until I’m married. I went the other route and it didn’t work for me. But to each is on.
In the end it’s all about COMMUNICATION AND COMPROMISING

If you had talked all this out when getting to know each other in the first place then a whole lot of issues can be settled!!!!!

]]> By: Lina M http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3696 Lina M Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:47:53 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3696 Xilla - "Like B!+ch go to school get a damn job or Hey we can sit down and fill out the financial aid papers and i know this great part time job but i’ll help you look for one when you’re not too busy." You are so right. It's not always what you say it's how you say it. The sexiest thing i've ever seen is a black man working hard to take care of home. Independence is what makes you a woman or man. You have to get your OWN no matter what it is. When your in a healthy relationship your woman or your man is supposed to have your back through the good AND the bad. A good woman motivates her man. As an independent woman I want to continue to get my own because relationships don't last long nowadays. Just because its hard to find a good man doesn't mean you should put up with alot of nonsense just to be able to say ''I got a Man". Great subject Xilla. Xilla - “Like B!+ch go to school get a damn job

or

Hey we can sit down and fill out the financial aid papers and i know this great part time job but i’ll help you look for one when you’re not too busy.”

You are so right. It’s not always what you say it’s how you say it. The sexiest thing i’ve ever seen is a black man working hard to take care of home. Independence is what makes you a woman or man. You have to get your OWN no matter what it is. When your in a healthy relationship your woman or your man is supposed to have your back through the good AND the bad. A good woman motivates her man. As an independent woman I want to continue to get my own because relationships don’t last long nowadays. Just because its hard to find a good man doesn’t mean you should put up with alot of nonsense just to be able to say ”I got a Man”.
Great subject Xilla.

]]> By: Mickit http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3614 Mickit Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:48:27 +0000 http://blogxilla.com/blog3/2008/02/25/10-good-reasons-the-independent-woman-is-single-in-urban-america/#comment-3614 Xilla, baby. . . . Hubby. I cant agree with this, I am as Independent as they come. I was spoiled BUT only because my parents hated each other so much, they tried to out do each other. So, yes I want to buy myself nice things (any and everything I want) HOWEVER, because of my parents, the little things means so much more at times. You know what. . . I was about to comment on each and every reason, from the bottom up; But you did give a disclaimer and this aint me so I wont take it personal. HOWEVER!!! One comment to make on this "She’s Not Giving It Up" - the reason you give is bull. Sex is ALWAYS FREE the relationship is what cost you! We need our release too, we will find time for sex, but, that take a bish to dinner, chit chat ish, just to get the panties gotta go! Give me the eye and head nod, nicca I know whats up. Of Fuck It! I cant keep quiet. It aint the fact we got too many demands, it is just the level of expectations. I aint worried bout your car. I am worried that this man aint got multiple baby mamas, bills, bad credit, and aint living with his mama. Also he at least gotta be about sumthin. Those are my demands, too bad that is a demand and not a minimum! CHEAP! WHAT! if dude got a bank account and is stacking something every paycheck, it is ok to splurge on what you want. But dropping a check on a pair of shoes and you have NO savings, NO house AND BILLS- shameful. Most Independent woman got a nicely lined account. Spending a little extra on a nice purse, when you have worked hard, aint nuthin but a reward and motivate to do more. *disclaimer- so savings, not independent! I aint too sure bout the stick in the arse thing, but you know how I feel bout things in the arse boo! ;-) Nicca, you right, you aint my damn daddy, STOP tryna tell me what to do and TALK TO ME! Being “Independent” means she did/doing her damn job so got damn well, she making that dough, which also means she had to shut the uck listen and learn. We know how to do that, talk nicca don’t preach! “She Cares About Her Career More Than Him” – Negro, SHUT UP!! “How do you think we can afford 4 vacations a year, a new leased whip a year and this house we in. I go to work everyday working towards that dream of being on permanent vacation and new “before they even sell it in the States” comes out in two years whips, 2 of ‘em. And a house full of kids and nannies to assist with their little arse. Cause you know, we be getting down during our vacations! DO, act like you know!!! What I miss, which one am I on??? You might not be able to “do nuthin for me” which translates to “you cant buy nuthin I cant buy myself”, which means do something else. I might not be able to remember my oil changes (cause I cant). Fit in, where you can get it! Show me you are good at sumthin else, Show me you can put it down in the bedroom. . . can’t do that myself! Who aint going down???? What’s more INDEPENDENT than being a Lady bout hers in public. And strong and confidence enough to be a Freak bouts hers in the bedroom too! AND LASTLY!!!! It aint bout your job and how much you making- (aiight, I lie cause you cant be working at Mc D’s and thinking you baggin this) Its bout you sharing the same dreams and goals and willing to work as hard as I do to achieve them and if ish get tough, not above getting a job at Mc D’s to put us back on track !!! Xilla, baby. . . . Hubby. I cant agree with this, I am as Independent as they come.

I was spoiled BUT only because my parents hated each other so much, they tried to out do each other. So, yes I want to buy myself nice things (any and everything I want) HOWEVER, because of my parents, the little things means so much more at times.

You know what. . . I was about to comment on each and every reason, from the bottom up; But you did give a disclaimer and this aint me so I wont take it personal.

HOWEVER!!!

One comment to make on this “She’s Not Giving It Up” - the reason you give is bull.
Sex is ALWAYS FREE the relationship is what cost you! We need our release too, we will find time for sex, but, that take a bish to dinner, chit chat ish, just to get the panties gotta go! Give me the eye and head nod, nicca I know whats up.

Of Fuck It! I cant keep quiet.

It aint the fact we got too many demands, it is just the level of expectations. I aint worried bout your car. I am worried that this man aint got multiple baby mamas, bills, bad credit, and aint living with his mama. Also he at least gotta be about sumthin. Those are my demands, too bad that is a demand and not a minimum!

CHEAP! WHAT! if dude got a bank account and is stacking something every paycheck, it is ok to splurge on what you want. But dropping a check on a pair of shoes and you have NO savings, NO house AND BILLS- shameful. Most Independent woman got a nicely lined account. Spending a little extra on a nice purse, when you have worked hard, aint nuthin but a reward and motivate to do more. *disclaimer- so savings, not independent!

I aint too sure bout the stick in the arse thing, but you know how I feel bout things in the arse boo! ;-)

Nicca, you right, you aint my damn daddy, STOP tryna tell me what to do and TALK TO ME! Being “Independent” means she did/doing her damn job so got damn well, she making that dough, which also means she had to shut the uck listen and learn. We know how to do that, talk nicca don’t preach!

“She Cares About Her Career More Than Him” – Negro, SHUT UP!!
“How do you think we can afford 4 vacations a year, a new leased whip a year and this house we in. I go to work everyday working towards that dream of being on permanent vacation and new “before they even sell it in the States” comes out in two years whips, 2 of ‘em. And a house full of kids and nannies to assist with their little arse. Cause you know, we be getting down during our vacations!
DO, act like you know!!!

What I miss, which one am I on???

You might not be able to “do nuthin for me” which translates to “you cant buy nuthin I cant buy myself”, which means do something else. I might not be able to remember my oil changes (cause I cant). Fit in, where you can get it! Show me you are good at sumthin else, Show me you can put it down in the bedroom. . . can’t do that myself!

Who aint going down???? What’s more INDEPENDENT than being a Lady bout hers in public. And strong and confidence enough to be a Freak bouts hers in the bedroom too!

AND LASTLY!!!!

It aint bout your job and how much you making- (aiight, I lie cause you cant be working at Mc D’s and thinking you baggin this) Its bout you sharing the same dreams and goals and willing to work as hard as I do to achieve them and if ish get tough, not above getting a job at Mc D’s to put us back on track !!!

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