I’ll Pay Your Monkey Ass When I Feel Like It
This classic scene pretty much sums up what it’s like when a collection agent calls your home right when you’re about to dig into your dinner. “Look I’ll let you know when I’m going to pay you as soon as I know.” But we’ve all faced debt and had to deal with the collection rep from hell. You know the one who acts like it’s his money and you better pay or else. So I have a few tips to get by until that next check comes.
First of all, If I had the money I would have paid y’all because I need my cable, phone, lights, or gas. Pretty much whatever service you’re trying to cut off. I need a few more weeks to pay your ass, so deal w/ it b/c you’re not getting a dime of my club, newport or condom money.
One thing you can do to buy some extra time is set up a payment arrangement. They work, only thing is you have to make sure you pay them when you say you will. If you don’t they won’t let you set up another payment arrangement and you might find yourself sitting in the dark.
Another thing is paying by check, normally it takes at least 3 days for that pay by phone system thing to reach your bank. So if you have direct deposit you’re good until Friday. Also you can try to get them to move your due date. I find it that most of my bills are due on the same date. So if you can’t pay your cable b/c your lights are due, or the hot water gets cut off b/c it’s rent time. Call up one of these wealthy companies who act like your hundred dollars is going to break their business, and ask them to move your due date.
Credit cards are a trip, so you’ll definitely, want to make sure that your bill is right. Also call them up and ask them to lower your APR. Because that’s where they rape you. That and late fees. Learn your bills you don’t want Shamariain Patel calling you up demanding you pay or else he’ll send a group of musky Indian bombers to your home to bomb your 1 bedroom apt with no lights. Now if your account is close ask them for a settlement, this way you can end up paying a little more than half of your balance to have them close out your account. It’s tax time and I know a lot of y’all are rolling in some dough. [Donate]
Now if your credit is messed up due to the old college credit cards visa gave you when you were 17 , then here is what you should do. Dispute everything on your credit report. Most of these companies have people working for them who are in just as much debt as you. And they aren’t willing to work any harder than what is required. You know working just hard enough, not to get fired but still get a check on Friday. So Dispute it, and if they don’t respond to the credit bureau in like 60 days they whip it off of your credit report. Yeah whip me down!!!
Has a Collection agent called you up to threaten you? If so what did you do?
