How To Talk To A Woman
A Top 10 list of things to say to your wife/girl/special friend/fuck buddy or whatever you call the person you’re sleeping with before, during and after sex.
It has come to my attention that not all dudes are vocal in the bedroom, or they either say some of the dumbest stuff, like “my ex girl used to tickle my balls”, “let me blow in your ass”, or the worst i heard “Is that a MOLE on your ass?!?!”
So to help the fellows I came up w/ a list of 10 things you can and should say to your woman while she is ass out in her birthday suit looking like a biscuit smothered in gravy.
10. Hungry? Stay here and look sexy I’ll make you something to eat.
This works best if you had amazing sex that night… matter fact scratched that, it works best if you fucked the living shit out of her, i mean so hard that you to collapsed into unconsciousness. Then you woke up around 7am and had sex w/ her then right after you finished… ask her if she is hungry.
9. Let me Light that.
It is a natural fact that the after sex cigarette is Ecstasy! As she lays on the bed place the cigarette in her mouth and light it. While she’s in between puffs give her a kiss on the cheek or the forehead. Inhale and exhale.
8. I can Still taste you in my mouth… And I love it
Now if you say this you have to actually mean it, and not just mean it, but show her you mean it by eating her for about 45 minutes. Nuff said.
7. There is nothing else in the entire universe I’d rather be doing right now.
While staring at her, whether it be w/ a look of lust, love or affection, Give her a hug, and a warm embrace, whisper that in her ear, just to let her know she is appreciated.
6. Damn!!!
Any use of the word DAMN will do. works best right when she takes off her clothes say: DAMN, You’re so Hot
5. …
Total, deliberate silence. You can stare at her, grab her, touch her, but don’t make a sound. If she tries to talk, place a finger on her lips. When you remove it give her a kiss, a peck! Then let the good times roll.
4. I’ve missed you so much
So what’s it’s only been a day or couple of hours, you know you’ve been thinking about breaking open that magnum wrapper, and sliding between her thighs all day long. Tell her about it.
3. Let’s do it on mo gain
It’s not about quantity it’s about quality, but nothing screams love like that second nut! It may be fact but my urban myth is that after I get that first nut out of the way, the second coming of my ManXilla is lethal… considering if i had enough rest… I’m getting old.
2. FUCK, or words like it
I tend to believe that every wife, girlfriend, wifey etc wants to be fucked every now and then. So try this, walk up on your girl give her a hug and a kiss all tender run your fingers through her hair softly and then… Grab a fist full of her mane and tell her you want to fuck the shit out of her sexy ass.
1. I’ll get the baby, you just lay there and look sexy.
After a round of sex, and the baby starts crying it switches mommy from Heather Hunter mode to Claire Huxtable Mode (was I the only young dude who had a crush on Phylisha Rashad?) So get your ass up and fix a bottle, don’t worry the lady will be so turned on that she keep it warm and wet until you come back.
Picture Snagged from Str8nyc
