7 Real Rules To Having Stress Free Casual Sex
Posted in Rated Grown Up on 22. Aug, 2010
Photo by Tom Huynh | Model Klarrissa'
A lot of my male readers come up to me and ask me questions like:
- “How can I have more casual sex?”
- “How many women do you sleep with?”
- “How do you get so many girls?”
It’s simple I live by a code of honesty and being upfront. So to answer the question of how can someone have stress free casual sex? All you have to do is keep reading and you’ll find out. Having Casual SEX is not that hard to do, if you test the waters, set it up, and execute your plan the right way. Follow these steps and you too can get laid, tonight.
Rule Number 1: Don’t lead the other person on | If you don’t plan on being with the person don’t lie to them. Don’t sell dreams of a long relationship if you don’t even intend to call the next day. Simply keep it casual and allow your cards to land where they will… most likely in the bedroom.
Rule Number 2: Know When To Call It A Night | If by any means you think the person you are trying to have sex with, might want a relationship, cut the cord, pull the plug, go night night! Unless you want a new entry in your phone titled “DO NOT ANSWER” I advised you steer clear from this person. Pay attention to the clues:
- If they continuously speak about relationships
- If they mention dreams about how they always wanted to get married.
- If they want to find the right one.
Rule Number 3: Notice the signs | If your potential casual sex partner is down to get it on they will let you know. They might simply touch you, or let you know they are just trying to have fun, but chances are they will give you a sign. Another key thing to pay attention to is the song they get hype to when it comes on. If she got wild when Nicki Minaj talked about putting vagina on sideburns… chances are if she’s feeling you, she’ll be feeling you.
Rule number 4: Know when to make your move | For some reason even though most casual sex partners don’t want to be lied too, they don’t want the truth either. So you can never say “Hey I just want to fuck you” That makes women feel like a whore, so you need to play a few games. When she in full sing-a-long mode make a slick comment, or break down some philosophical theory of about casual sex simply makes more sense because everyone knows that a woman decides the moment she meets a guy if she’s going to give it up or not. So why allow him to ruin and take from her what she has already decided to do?
Rule Number 5: Don’t ask stalker questions | Don’t be nosey, don’t dig too deep into their personal business, and give them privacy. Let them know you’re secure with your position and totally comfortable with the time you’re allowed to share with them.
Rule Number 6: Alcohol makes everything more fun | Think “Lets get drunk forget what we did”
Rule Number 7: Never Assume | If you have done the previous steps right, you should feel like you’re about to have sex. Yet, never assume, if you are walking them home, see if you get invited inside. Always have an reason for them to come inside or not go home. If you’re invited in for coffee or tea you’re in there like swimwear. If you’re invited to spend the night because its too late for you to go home in that condition… Accept the invitation it simply means you MIGHT be getting some.
At the end of the day there is no way to fully know if you’re going to get stress free casual sex, but if you play your cards right you can have a lot of stress free casual sex. Just make sure you wrap it up, wear a glove and protect yourself at all times. If you’re gonna have fun protect yourself. .
When was the last time you have casual sex or a one-night stand? How did it go down? How did you get sold on the sex? Share your night with us and we will share ours.
Thanks for responding everyone. This is my final rebuttal. At Dru, What's good big homie? I see your point about looking at reality. Unfortunately, I am looking at reality, and it is dismal. People have choices, and often make poor ones. I'm no exception. The point is to learn from those mistakes, and hopefully save another from making the same ones. As long as people keep making the same poor choices, our community will continue to have the same poor results.
When I was in medical school, I saw numerous people my age diagnosed with multiple STDs. When asked if the pleasure from the sex was worth the guilt, despair, pain from contracting an uncurable disease, the answers were universally no. The reality is that casual sex does have consequences. And those consequences are not so casual.
At Xilla, you write well. I appreciate your intelligence. If the stats make you uncomfortable, then they should because they should not be. And most people won't take the time to google them. I know that sex is nothing new. Sex is a wonderful experience, in the right context, as is anything else. I'm not a religious right wing conservative, but I am aware of what we are doing to ourselves as a people. I'm not one of these black people, who has separated himself from his people, and is coming back to judge them. I am a humble little dude that went to medical school, saw problems and is out to address them. Continue doing what you do Xilla, real talk. At the end of the day I love black people more than most realize, and I just hate to see them sick and dying. I hate to see fatherless children and all the other social ills that plague our community disproportionately. The worst thing we can do is be complacent and just except it as normal.
Big up yourselves…
I'm gonna continue reading, real talk
Gary R. Carpenter Jr., M.D.
Interesting but very incomplete article. There is no sex that is casual, because sex is not something that can be done casualy. Simply put, anything done that has potential to bring a child into this world is not casual. Can people casually raise a child? No. Secondly your article does not offer a solution for sexually transmitted diseases. They are very stressful and potentially deadly, so how can a person casually have sex and avoid that stress? Condoms break and are ineffective against herpes and cancer causing HPV. So again, please tell me how men and women can avoid this stress casually. How can we be casual with sex when black men are 20 times more likely to have gonorrhea than other groups, and black women were 12 times more likely to have chlamydia than there white counterparts? The largest growing group of HIV patients are black women, is that casual? 65% of black children are raised by one parent. Still casual? There is no casual sex, and the nonsense must stop. It’s not conspiracy, or bad data. No white person forced us into bed , or to write irresponsible articles like that above. Hope no one is offended, but as a black man, I expect better from my people.
Dr. Gary Are. Carpenter Jr.
^well put.
Doc you hit a lot of great points but we have to look at the reality we are living. Sex is the forefront of our society. It has gotten to the point where abstinence is not even promoted anymore we are just told to have safe sex (but then we are offered those faulty NYC condoms) but that is another story. Plenty feel they need to “find” themselves by exploring the opposite sex with stress free no holds barred sexual relationships. A hobby would be more productive than casual sex but until sex is put on the back burner and we focus on the substance of an individual compared to how much he packing in his pants or does she have ass implants we have to embrace our F*ck and Be Free society and just protect ourselves if we do indulge.
What’s up Doc? The fact of the matter is that stuff is going on we all know what’s going on and whats out there in the world. I appreciate your words and your stats I really do, but its like telling a smoker to stop smoking it’s just not that complicated. I didn’t start out by writing an article for people to find out about the stats people can google that.
These days we all know sex isn’t safe, neither is video games, eggs, fried foods, Mc Donalds, Chicken, Steaks, Anyhting processed, Chips, Starbucks and anything else they can make a study for…. Sex is everywhere. and has been since the days of Donna Reed. It will continue to be everywhere. No one said it was a con job, or the man. As a black man you need to stop trying to pick apart your people and judge them. You’re not GOD. People aren’t as dumb as you think and sometimes you can be giving stats to people who know them already.
No doubt I feel you Dr. Carpenter. It's a debate and this has to be part of the debate.
It's true, sex is definitely a more complex matter. People don't really acknowledge what is going on spiritually when you have sex with someone. Its just all games and fun. It seems like everything people take lightly these days is actually a serious matter and everything thats taken seriously actually means nothing. Its like everything is backwards.
I can honestly say that I have had a lot of causal sex between the time I was 17 and until I was 19, I'm 21 now, I only stopped because I had a pregnancy scare even though I used condoms and could not say who the father was. It was an intense wake up call for me and I slowed all the way down.
Rule 1 was definitely on point. Lying is overrated. Just think about your favorite female-getting role model. They don't need to lie to chicks, not just because they are probably rich, but because there are enough women out here to get that you don't need to lie to in order to have sex with them. No need to come out and say "i just want to f**k you" either though. Rule #2 can be voided if u know what ur doing. #3 is most important…I take my routine in steps. Simple, small steps. And I don't even drink let alone offer women any type of alcohol. So just follow the signs of what they let you do. If they clearly don't want it, don't force it…be respectful of their decision and kindly ask them to hit the exit.
I'm a Female and I have tried this method it doesn't work I even was blunt and said "I Just Wanna Fuck"I didn't call him the next day he called me! I didn't lead him on I never spoke of any relationships or anything but yet we've been having casual sex for three months now but let me tell you its not stress free, he makes me feel guilty about talking to other guys(whom i don't have sexual relations with) but I let him know from jump the situation, he constantly talks about being in a relationship, also assuming that were in a relationship ..He's 21 i'm 18 not a big jump but he's the 2nd guy i been with so he feels like i should stick around..I don't know what i got myself into, the sex is wack even though i learned alot of things from him(and this site
) its just not great or even good anymore..I just wanna be friends be he's making it impossible with all his bullshit he has great conversation and friends is the only thing i can ever see us being…I Don't know what to do I Feel STUCK Ahhhh! the problem is i will feel bad if i have to put him under "DO NOT ANSWER"